“I do love you, Seth.” She meant it. Who couldn’t love this man? He represented everything that was good and kind in the world.
His face turned serious but was warm with love. “I know you do,” he whispered. “You and Theron mean so much to me, Kathleen, that sometimes my love is painful. It’s as if my body can’t contain it, as if I’ll burst for loving you so hard. Do you understand?”
Yes, she did. She knew the emotion he was trying to convey. She had felt it for the past two years, and with as much anguish over its unrequited state as Seth’s.
“You are beautiful, Kathleen. Truly beautiful. I want to memorize your face for the time I’ll spend in eternity.” His fingers followed the path charted by his eyes as they traveled over her features.
His intensity and choice of words frightened her, and she cried softly, “Seth,” as she gripped his hand.
“Come now,” he said briskly, pulling her up to receive his kiss on the cheek. “Let a hard-working man go to bed. Besides, you’ve got a busy day ahead of you tomorrow. You do like Erik, don’t you, Kathleen?”
She could see how important her opinion was to him. “Of course. And I think what he’s going to do for Kirchoff’s is fantastic. You made a wise decision.”
The relief on Seth’s face was worth any turmoil she would suffer from being and working closely with Erik. “I’m glad you approve. I want the two of you to get along. You don’t mind that I offered your services as a decorator, do you? I know you enjoy that kind of thing, and you spend far too much time here with only me, George and Alice, and Hazel for company. Not to mention the demands Theron makes on you.”
“Don’t worry about that. You’re my family. But I don’t mind helping Erik if you want me to.”
“Good.” He seemed satisfied. “Goodnight, sweetheart.” He pulled her down and, this time, kissed her sweetly on the lips.
Sensing that their private time was over, George came out of the shadows. He said goodnight and opened the door to Seth’s bedroom, closing it quietly after Seth had steered his chair through.
Kathleen had never been invited into that room. She never questioned Seth about its absolute privacy. Perhaps the trappings of his disability were too visible in his bedroom. She accepted his decision and respected it. If she could help it, she would never do anything to embarrass or injure the man who had given her a future when she had had none.
* * *
What could she wear? Kathleen pondered the contents of her three closets. With a typically feminine anxiety, she decided that nothing she had was appropriate.
She scolded herself for acting like a silly teenager. She wasn’t going on a date with a special beau. She was only going shopping with Erik, and he had seen her both dressed to the nines and wearing the navy shorts and white T-shirt that were the Mountain View uniform. He had also seen her in nothing at all.
Kathleen blushed at that thought. Gloriously naked, she had lain in his bed, and he had seen her in his shower with soap and water combining into foaming rivers all over her body that he navigated with his hands and mouth. Did he ever remember? The stain in her cheeks became deeper. The familiarity with which he had touched her in the past few days proved that he remembered her body well.
Finally, she selected a pair of brown leather jeans that Seth had insisted she buy. He was proud of her figure and often coerced her into modeling in the lavish fashion shows she had instigated at Kirchoff’s. He was too generous with his gifts, urging her to buy at least one garment for herself from each house she visited when she went to New York.
When they went on their frequent tours of the stores, if Seth saw something in Kathleen’s size that he liked, he stripped it off the hanger and handed it to her with a beguiling smile. “You’d look swell in this, kid,” he’d say with a Humphrey Bogart slur. She never argued with him. If she could please him by wearing pretty clothes, she was all too glad to do it. There was so little she could do for him.
Kathleen felt a pang of guilt at her jittery nerves as she finished dressing. Was she being unfaithful to Seth by anticipating the outing with Erik? No, she argued with herself. Seth was the one who had planned it. She was really doing this for him. But as she looked at herself critically in the mirror, she knew that she was doing this for herself, too.
She had put on a silk shirt with the pants. The electric-blue color deepened the emerald-green of her eyes. The toes of her imported Italian boots shone with the same saddle-brown of the jeans. She let her hair hang loose so it waved around her face and shoulders like a copper scarf.
She ran lightly down the stairs just as the doorbell was ringing. It was only natural that she call out, “I’ll get it, Alice,” but her footsteps faltered noticeably on the stairs.
Gripping the doorknob as though it were a lifeline, she swung open the door before she could chicken out.
Erik stared at her over the threshold. He didn’t say anything as he raked her with greedy eyes. The muscles in his throat worked convulsively. When at last his gaze rose to meet hers, he said, “Good morning.”
“Good morning.” It took all the breath she could muster to speak, for he looked gorgeous. He was as slim-hipped as ever, as the tight jeans emphasized. A dark plaid cotton shirt was stretched over the muscles of his broad chest and shoulders. A camel-colored cardigan was knotted casually around his neck. “Come in,” she murmured, stepping aside to let him enter. She could smell his colo
gne as he walked past her. “Seth wanted to say goodbye. He’s having breakfast with Theron.” Erik stopped, turned around and looked at her, and then nodded. “I’d like to see him, too.”
She didn’t know if he was referring to Seth or Theron and felt it was safer not to ask. She walked a few steps ahead of Erik, leading him through the labyrinth of the first floor until they reached the bright, sunny breakfast room off the kitchen.
They were greeted with peals of laughter as Kathleen pushed open the swinging door. “What’s going on in here?” she asked brightly. Too brightly?
The center of attention was Theron, who was still pajama-clad and sitting in his high chair. In his hand, he held a long banana and was trying his best to peel it.
“Hi,” Seth said. “Alice, get Erik some coffee, please. Sit down. We’re having a time here. He’s been trying for five minutes to figure out how to get to the inside of that banana, but he won’t let any of us do it for him. Watch.”
Seth leaned over closer to the high chair and said, “Theron, let me peel the banana for you.” He reached for the fruit, but the little boy hugged it tight to him until Seth’s hand was withdrawn, and then he renewed his struggle to peel it himself.