She’s mine for life.
CHAPTER FIFTEEN
Tara
The past two weeks have been like a dream. Even after the slight hiccup that we had on our first few days together, traveling with Nate has been incredible.
We spend our days exploring the boat or the cruise destinations together and then make love all night long. I never expected that the passion would remain so high all the time, but it’s only gotten more intense if anything. It’s like we just can’t keep our hands off each other, and I’m sure as hell not complaining.
I love being in bed with Nate, feeling his hands all over my body. He tells me I’m beautiful even when I don’t feel it. It makes me feel like I’m the most special woman in the world. After all, Nate picked me. Out of everyone in the world, he wants me and he could really have anyone he wants. He didn’t have to settle for someone like me, and yet he makes me feel like I’m worth it. I know my worth but it feels good to be validated sometimes. Oftentimes it’s hard to believe in yourself when the world tries to tell you otherwise but I don’t have to live with doubts because the most important person in my life sees me.
But I should have known that my dream would come to an end, at some point. It was all too perfect and now tomorrow, we’ll be back where we started. My dad will be there to pick me up. And I’m going to have to pretend like none of the amazing things I shared with Nate ever happened.
The more I think about it, the angrier I become. It’s not fair. Why should I have to hide my love for him? He’s given me things in the past few weeks that no other person has ever even offered me. Love, tenderness, happiness…and yet my dad is still going to act like we’ve done something terrible by indulging in one another I’m sure.
Is it so wrong that we are in love?
Is it so wrong that we fell for each other despite all the odds stacked against us?
My dad will certainly think so.
I sigh at the thought. I’m lounging on the deck with Nate, who has taken time away from his duties to be with me. In fact, he’s practically handed over control to his co-captain. Another way in which he makes me feel like I matter. He said he wanted to spend as much time with me as possible before I had to be back onshore and he has kept his promise.
We both know it’s going to be more difficult to see one another once I’m home. He’ll be working away on the cruise line, and I’ll be living under my dad’s thumb once again. I don’t even know how it’s going to work.
All I know is that I’ll do anything to get back to Nate’s side again.
“What are you thinking about, baby?” Nate asks as he catches me looking off into the distance.
I let out another sigh.
“Just us. You and me. How are we ever going to make this work?”
Nate reaches for my hand and brushes his thumb over my knuckle. I love it when he does that. It feels so soothing. It makes me forget that I have any worries at all.
I look up to find him staring down at me lovingly and I feel an ache in my heart. This all feels so final like it could be over.
“It’s going to be fine,” Nate says softly for such a big man. “It will be awful being apart, but we’ll get through it.”
I swallow down the lump in my throat, saying nothing. I want him to be right, but it feels like it’s going to hurt too much being apart.
Nate takes my hand and squeezes it reassuringly.
“You should come with me. I promised you I’d take you to see the world…you can stay with me on the ship.”
“And how would I explain that to my dad?” I ask miserably. “He’ll want to know how I’m paying for it…and then if I bring you into the equation, he’s going to figure it out.”
Nate nods in understanding. “I know. And I know we’ve talked about all of this already. I know we agreed that we’d keep this under wraps. But maybe our only solution is to tell him.”
I feel my heart jolt in my chest. I’ve been waiting for him to make this suggestion for some time. I knew it was coming, and yet I’m unprepared for how to answer him. How do I tell him that I’m not ready? That I’m scared of what happens when we put our secret out in the open?
“I know why you don’t want to,” Nate says gently as if reading my mind once again. “But the longer we put it off, the harder it’ll be to tell him. And while I’m happy to keep it a secret, to keep you…I know you’re not. You don’t want to lie to him. I know you, baby. You’re going to find it impossible to keep it to yourself.”