But then why else would he invite me out with him in the middle of the night if he didn’t feel something for me?
He’s set up an intimate dinner for just the two of us…unless he’s embarrassed to be seen with me…
No, I need to stop beating myself up. I’m only going to make myself miserable if I continue down that road. I always tell myself that I’m worthy, but now I actually have to try and believe it. I have to prove to myself that I can love myself the way I deserve to be loved.
And that means that I need to stop fussing over my appearance and go on this date already. I guess it’s easier said than done when your heart is in your stomach and you’re all twisted up inside from nerves, but I’m not messing this up.
It’s time to be brave and face this head-on.
I glance at myself in the mirror one last time and force a smile, trying to see the beauty in my own confidence. Then I turn and walk away, ready for the night.
The boat is still alive at this time of night. People are drinking and partying out on the main deck. As I walk past them, some of the men stare at me. I can’t tell if it’s because they think I look good or because they think I look awful, but I’m not interested in their opinions either way.
The only opinion that matters to me is Nate’s.
I find my way to the restaurant Nate mentioned in the note he had sent to my room earlier. It was like he read my mind, just when I had started to worry that he’d forgotten about our date there was a knock at my door with a note waiting for me on the other side.
When I step inside I find the restaurant dimly lit by candles, the room cleared of all other diners. The whole effect is like a dream. There’s atmospheric music playing in the background and in the center of it all is Nate waiting for me, standing by a table right in the middle of the room.
And when his eyes fall on me, I feel breathless.
I watch his face shift as he takes me in.
I can hear a low sound coming from him as I walk toward him and suddenly, there’s no doubt in my mind at all. He wants me just as much as I want him.
I feel nervous because it’s like he’s truly seeing me for the first time, drinking me in, taking notice of every nuance of my body. I’m lightheaded, overwhelmed by his presence and this feeling between the two of us.
All I can think is, how am I going to make it through dinner?
“You look…” he says, his gaze moving agonizingly slowly up and down my body, not missing a thing. “Absolutely beautiful.”
I blush. I don’t think a man other than my dad has ever told me that I’m beautiful before. It feels good, no great, coming from Nate. Especially considering he is by far the most handsome man I’ve ever seen.
“Thank you,” I whisper.
I love that he can’t seem to tear his eyes away from me.
His eyes fall to my breasts and I blush, feeling exposed, but in the best possible way. I want him to look at me like this. I want him to be the only person who looks at me like this.
“Damn,” Nate growls, “You’re making it very hard for me to be a gentleman right now, Tara. Let’s sit, order some wine…before I do something that I shouldn’t.”
I want to tell him that I’m quite happy for him to do anything he wants to do to me, but I don’t want to seem too eager. This is our time to explore this connection, to see if there’s anything between us here. I don’t want to ruin it before it’s even started.
He helps me into my chair and I try to look at the menu, but the words mean nothing to me. The last thing on my mind is food.
Although a glass of wine sounds really good right about now.
When the waiter comes over, I tell him to get me whatever he thinks is best, hoping to get the order out of the way so that I can focus on Nate. He comes back right away and with our drink and Nate practically growls at him to give us some time alone.
He watches me carefully when the waiter disappears, his eyes full of lust. And I wonder if he can see how much I want him to. If he can tell just how desperately I want him to sweep me up into his arms and make me his.
I doubt it.
If he knew, I don’t think we’d be sitting here so civilly right now.