So would it be so weird to suggest dinner together? To let him know that I want to spend time with him? There’s no rush. I can let him know my true feelings later on. But before all of that, I have to actually see if this is worth risking everything for.
Because if we do this, if we try it out…then there’s no going back. I might end up breaking my dad’s heart. I might never be forgiven for going against his wishes. It’s not what I want, but I also can’t ignore what I want, what my heart wants.
It’s never been more obvious to me what is right for me. From the moment I first saw Nate, I felt something inside me shift. And now, I have to face these feelings head-on.
I’ve lived for other people my entire life. Namely, my dad. I’ve done everything I can to keep him happy, because I know he’s still broken from losing my mom.
But at some point, I have to start becoming my own person. I have to try and live my own life, make my own mistakes, and find my own path.
I love my dad, but he can’t be at my side every step of the way. It’s just not possible. There are just some things he can’t give me.
And now I’ve something worthy of flying the nest for.
In Nate, I see adventure and fun and lust, all the things I’ve been missing from my life. These feelings for him came on so suddenly, but they shifted the foundations beneath my feet. No one else could do that to me. So I have to take this opportunity before it slips away from me for good.
I stand up from my sun bed and head back to my cabin.
The next time I see Nate, I want to be looking my very best. I’m going to bring my A-game and prove to him that I’m the woman he’s been waiting for all his life. I might not be slim and sexy and rich, but I’ve got a heart of gold and it’s full of love to give.
If he wants me, even if only for a night, then I belong to him. He needs to know that. I might never have another chance like this so I need to make the most of it.
I change in my bedroom, donning one of my best dresses, applying a little makeup and some perfume. Feeling myself.
It’s been a while since I felt this confident in myself.
Yes, this could all go horribly wrong. He might not care about me in the slightest. Hell, he might already have a woman by his side. But I saw the way he looked at me yesterday. I know there’s more to this story than just subtle glances.
There was something in his gaze that spoke of yearning. Maybe he’s been waiting for someone to show up and change everything for him, too.
And there’s only one way to find out.
CHAPTER FOUR
Nate
Tara hasn’t left my thoughts for a single moment since yesterday. Last night, lying awake in the Captain’s quarters, all I could think about was her.
I wanted so badly to go to her, take her, be inside her, explore every curve of her body. Spill my seed deep inside her womb. I woke up this morning on edge with no relief in sight. It’s an unusual sort of torture, wanting something so badly and knowing that you have to try and be patient.
I know that this is wrong. That I shouldn’t want her, but I do.
But I also know I’m going to make her mine.
The question now is just how and where. I have to make sure I do this right.
I’ve never felt this way for a woman and I’m certain I never will again. I have to make sure that I don’t fuck it up. I want to spend my life getting to enjoy this woman, not just the next two weeks.
And in order for that to happen, I have to make certain that I don’t scare her off.
I think she seemed interested when we talked yesterday.
I’m sure she was looking at me the way I was looking at her. I could practically feel her eyes on me. But if I’m wrong, then this could be disastrous.
She’s pretty close with her dad. What if I make a move on her and she doesn’t feel the same? He’d never forgive me. No, I have to make sure we’re on the same page before I dive in at the deep end.
I’m not afraid to take risks, but there’s no point in jumping in too fast and ruining this before it even begins. Or risk ruining her relationship with her dad.
I don’t want to scare her off either.
So I have to act like the perfect gentleman.
Even though the only thing I can think about is ripping off her clothes, I have to act like the perfect man would. I want to be that man for her, even if it means denying myself my primal instincts for a while.