“Tinsley.” Leo buries his face in my neck, his body jerking against mine. His breathing is heavy, matching my own.
Tears slip out of the corner of my eyes as the reality of what I’ve just done comes crashing around me. What had Leo said when he entered my room? Something along the lines of he was going to do his husbandly duty.
What is wrong with me? Am I so desperate for any kind of affection or human connection that I let this happen? Even if—and that’s a big if—Leo wanted to do this, how could I let him? He’s been utterly mean to me from the moment I met him. He can barely stomach being in the same room as me for more than a few minutes. Our fake marriage hasn’t changed that.
The hollowness that’s been inside of me from before I even lost my parents grows. I roll the other way, wanting to be left alone. Leo’s fingers slip out of me in the process.
“Tinsley.” He calls for me. I swear I hear a neediness in his voice, but I have to be making that up in my own mind. I don’t look back at him as I find my shorts and quickly put them on. “What are you doing? We’re only getting started.”
I shake my head. “No, we’ve lost our minds. You can barely stomach me, and you think I would bring a child into that? Let’s be honest, Leo, you just barely tolerate my existence. And I try my hardest. I really do make an attempt at not being around so much, so that you don’t have to tolerate it, but this is not okay. You have some hate for me because of who I am or where I come from. And I’ll be damned if I will allow a child to come into that.” I get out everything that I’ve been bottling up inside.
“Tinsley. It’s not what you…” he stops mid-sentence when I make my way to the door.
“What I think?” I finish for him. “It really doesn’t matter at this point. You think I’m so pathetic that I’ll take whatever crumbs you’re willing to give me to do your husbandly duty.”
“I didn’t mean it that way.” He sits up on the bed. Gosh, he’s so handsome. Even all bruised up. I ache to be able to crawl into the bed and be held close by him. Okay, maybe I can see why he thinks I’m pathetic. When he starts pulling on his clothes, I’m finally able to turn away.
“I’ve been doing things by myself my whole life. My parents might have always paid for everything, but I was alone. I’ve managed to get this far, and I’ll manage to figure the rest out in regard to having a baby. I don’t need you to do me any favors by doing your husbandly duties. All that will do is hurt me. You can try to say you’re not going to, but I won’t believe you. You’ve been hurting me since I met you. And I’ve allowed it because of the stupid crush I’ve had on you. Gosh, maybe I am pathetic. Crushing on someone who—”
“What’s going on?” Sol pushes my bedroom door open. “Tinsley, what’s wrong? Why are you crying?” She looks at me and then turns to glare at Leo who is thankfully all buttoned up with his sweatshirt back on. At least I don’t have to explain to Sol why her brother is half-naked in my bed.
“Just a misunderstanding.” I swipe at my cheeks. I think I’ve cried more this week than I have in my whole life. “You should be in bed. Are you in pain?” I try to divert her attention to a different topic, but I should already know it’s not going to work. Especially not with Sol. She won’t be discouraged from finding out the truth that easily.
“It looks like more than that.” Her attention swings back to her brother. Her eyes grow wide. “What the fuck did you do?” I’m not sure if she’s talking about him and me or how his face looks. Either is bad.
“Fucked up like I always do.” Leo runs his fingers through his hair.
“Don’t even try that bullshit. How about try not fucking up and being a jerk for once? What did you do to Tinsley? She’s a freaking sweetheart and your—”
“Sol, please. It’s not just him.” She gives me a look like she’s not buying it. “Please don’t fight, not over me,” I plead. I’ve always adored how much they love each other. It will kill me if I come between that because they got roped into my mess. I’ve never seen a family like theirs before. They’re always willing to do anything for each other.
Sol takes a long breath. “My room, now,” she orders her brother. “I’m going to clean you up.”