Maddox tried not to wince at the description of Will as an it. He tried to understand that she was relaying the traumatized memories of a much younger person. He almost succeeded.
“So you put it in a garbage…”
“I panicked. I put it in and I came back two minutes later and he was gone. I couldn’t… I couldn’t ask where he’d gone. I had to figure someone had seen me and saved him. And I knew he'd be better off without me.”
“Debatable,” Maddox mused.
Candy struggled to speak as old grief felt fresh and new overwhelmed her.
“I’ve regretted this my entire life. It has haunted me. I have never known who he became. Or what he became. And now…”
“And now you know that baby lives in this very house as a grown man.” Maddox had not bothered to keep that from Candy. He was already keeping a great many secrets. It was nice to relieve himself of the burden of one of them.
Candy sucked in a breath. “He’s a murderer and a criminal.”
“Nobody is perfect,” Maddox said with the casual disinterest of an immortal who doesn’t have to worry about that sort of behavior. Humans so often underestimated how terrible they were on average, and vastly overestimated their capacity for good. The notion of a good human was almost as paradoxical as the notion of a dry ocean.
“Are you referring to him or me?”
“Both of you, I suppose. You were very young. And very scared…”
Candy nodded, tears in her eyes.
“And very stupid.”
With that, she broke into fresh sobs.
“There, there,” Maddox comforted her from a distance. “Will is fine.”
“I think I should tell him,” Candy said. “I think he needs to know everything.”
“On the contrary. The less Will knows, the better.”
“Why?”
“Will has a unique opportunity now to remake himself, to become more than he was before, to be better, to transcend his past. Miring him in the sordid and tragic depths of a teenage monster’s love affair will not help him.”
Candy sniffed and dabbed her nose. “Isn’t that up to Will? Doesn’t he want to know who I am?”
“No.”
“Ouch.” Her head jerked back.
“He wants to know who his father is. His opinion of his mother, whoever she might be, has been understandably marred by being left to die within minutes of his birth.”
Candy’s face crumpled. She did not say anything for a long time. She simply nodded.
“I should go home,” she said when she could speak again. “Thank you for speaking with me, sir. I hope this can remain in confidence, and not affect our working relationship.”
“Of course not, Candy. Go home. Get some rest. Things will appear brighter in the morning.”
Candy got up and Maddox showed her out. As they reached the front door, she looked back at him. “I know I have no right to ask you for any favors, but I do have one, a request.”
“What is that?”
“Don’t ever let Will meet his father. Even at the age I knew him, Ivan was… there’s something broken inside him. It’s not just that he’s an animal. He’s an actual monster.”
“That will never happen,” Maddox assured her. “I promise.”
10
The Road Trip
“Where’s home?” Will tried to make conversation. His father really didn’t talk much. It almost made him miss Lorien’s constant babbling. They’d been driving for several hours already, and he still didn’t know much of anything about the man who had given him life. He was so eager to learn, but Ivan’s brief glancing glares whenever he asked a question were enough to put him off from asking more. The last thing Will wanted was to be ditched by his dad now that he’d met him.
“Just over a day’s drive from here,” Ivan said. They were pulling into a remote gas station. Will had noticed that they’d taken back roads the whole way so far. The interstate would have been faster and much more direct, but he guessed his dad didn’t exactly want to run into law enforcement. Neither did Will, come to think of it. Maddox’s threat about being returned to prison was still pretty fucking fresh.
Ivan put the car in park and glanced over at Will. “You want anything to eat?”
“I’m okay,” Will said. Truth was, he was fucking nervous. He didn’t know what to make of his father at all. He didn’t even know what to call him. Ivan? Dad? Ivan felt too casual. Dad felt too familial.
Ivan got out and Will sat in the truck, drawing in deep, calming breaths. This was okay. It was going to be okay.
Maddox was going to be pissed. That just made Will smile. He’d been fucking hiding his father from him, keeping his true identity a secret, just like Chauvelin had accused him of. It was such a fucking mind trip to realize the guy he’d been lusting for, giving himself to, was the asshole of the century. Actually, maybe it wasn’t. Will had always had terrible taste in men and everything else, for that matter.