"You always end up hurting yourself more than anybody else, boy,” Maddox said mournfully. “I wish you could feel what I feel for you and begin to understand that it does not matter where you come from. It matters where you are and where you are going.”
“Easy to say. You know who you are.”
“I’ve long forgotten who I am, or who I was, where I came from. The places from which I hail no longer exist. They have been paved over, destroyed, and built upon over and over again. I have seen civilizations no anthropologist has ever heard of rise and fall into complete historical oblivion. You may think it important who you herald from, but I can assure you, William. It has less bearing on who and what you are than you think.”
“That’s bullshit. I’m a goddamn wolf.”
“You’re a pup,” Maddox corrected. “And yes, under extreme stress and with some chemical encouragement you found a part of yourself that has long laid dormant.”
“Chemical encouragement?”
“I gave you a concoction designed to help you realize that element of your personality. Before the battle at the water tower.”
“You fucking what? How!?”
“You were asleep. It did not seem to function at the time.”
As Maddox spoke, he gently plucked shards of glass from Will’s captive hand.
“So I’m an incident, and someone you collar, cage, and drug in his sleep. I’m just… my humanity means nothing to you. My personhood…. It means nothing. I’m a tool for you to use. A thing for you to fuck.”
Maddox removed the last nasty curved bit of glass. The blood seeping from the wounds was clearly making him ravenous. Will saw him lick his lips and hold his fangs back with an obvious attempt at retraction.
They were fighting. Really fighting, in a way that did not feel good or fun. Other disagreements and arguments had involved a more playful dynamic. There was no levity here. This was real and it was heavy and more than anything, it was human. Neither one of them were particularly good at being human.
“Remember, your father did not get you out of prison. I did.”
“Because I was useful to you. My father probably doesn’t know I exist.”
“Do you think if he did, he would come here? Be here for you? Change things for you?”
“I think he’d understand me. I think he’d have things to tell me I care about. I think I’d know who the fuck I am besides your fucking… fuck you.”
Will started to cry and didn’t know how to stop. Tears flowed down his cheeks as his shoulders heaved with great sobs. He was frustrated and he was sad. He wanted to connect, but he felt so separate from everyone and everything, including Maddox.
“You need to go to bed," Maddox determined.
Will didn’t have a chance to retort. He was picked up and carried off to bed, settled into his sheets, and left to indulge in what he felt like must be a shameful and useless expression of emotion. He didn't even have the option to leap out the window anymore thanks to the heavy bars. He had no option but to lie in bed and cry himself to a miserable, punished sleep.
Maddox locked Will in his room and leaned against the door, listening to the sobs and having absolutely no idea how to stop them. The emotional effort of dealing with Will was more intense than it had ever been. He knew he was equal to the task, but the drain was real. As soon as they reached a good place, they seemed to be thrown back into emotional turmoil almost immediately.
“You should beat him again.” Lorien appeared with some unsolicited advice and a stick of lit incense, for some reason best known to himself. His appearance was as ill-timed as his advice.
“Quiet, Lorien.”
“It’s that or tell him the truth. And you rarely, if ever, choose to do that.”
Maddox rounded on Lorien. “Do not tempt me now. I have not forgotten that you are the reason I find myself in this nearly impossible situation.”
“I am not the reason an angry werewolf is prowling the city looking for his daddy,” Lorien said, accurately. “Will’s not going to give this up. He’s a literal dog with a metaphorical bone.”
“Actually, that is a good idea,” Maddox said. “What William needs is a distraction.”
Lorien flung his hands in the air, trailing a thin cloud of scented smoke behind them. “Or the truth? No! Not the truth. Why truth when you can fuck about with the mind of the most dangerous creature in the city?”
“I am the most dangerous creature in this city,” Maddox reminded him.
“Yeah? Was it you who saved us from an army of violent fledglings? Because I’m pretty sure that was Will.”
“I did not need saving.”
“Well, I did.” Lorien slipped one of his hands into his pocket and emphasized his words with the other. “I would never advocate for a human, but Will’s not human. He’s bled for me and for you too, Maddox. Tell him the truth about his father.”