“So, you’re going to take Ava into the lion’s den, so to speak, and hope they don’t kill her on the spot,” Bella said, her tone flat. It surprised me to hear her speak that way only because she was typically much politer.
“Yes,” Tavlor said, nodding.
I shivered, the fear of impending death a strange feeling indeed. I rubbed my lips together, trying to hide my worry from my sisters. If they were going to be on board with this, I couldn’t let them think I was worried about anything.
“Well, it sounds like the best plan we have so far,” I admitted. I took a deep breath, trying to get my sisters to understand. “And I want to go. I want to fight for the life I want, and for the lives you guys could have.”
Courtney frowned. “And you still want us to stay here?”
“Yes. Please. I will feel so much better, and safer, knowing that you guys are out of danger.” I glanced over at Bella. “Plus, you guys have already helped me shield myself the best I can. The rest is up to the Universe.”
Courtney swallowed hard. “And if you don’t come back?”
When I went to answer, she waved her hand to stop me,
“Not that I’m doubting your abilities but look at this from our perspective. You get to go and come as you please, all because you’re older than we are. You tell us to wait, but what if something happens to you? What are we supposed to do then?”
I sucked in a deep breath. As much as I didn’t want to admit it, she made a good point. “Then you two decide what you want to do,” I said. “Aunt Alison is your best contact, and I can leave all her details here for you. But if something happens to me... and you still want to be part of their world, you need to never tell them who you are.”
Tavlor reached over and squeezed my hand. “There’s nothing wrong with wanting a family, wanting what you are entitled to.” He turned toward my sisters. “I too will leave a list of people you can contact for help. In the Fae realm. Because if Ava goes down, you can assume I’m gone too.”
I squeezed his hand back. My death was much easier to consider over Tavlor’s death. In fact, I didn’t want him talking about his death at all.
Was he implying that he expected we weren’t going to make it? That was an ending I refused to believe.
I forced myself to smile at Tavlor and let the silence around us sit.
“Thank you for looking after our sister, Tavlor,” Bella said, her words soft in the air.
Tavlor looked across the table at her and nodded once. He frowned, obviously wondering why Bella would thank him in the first place, as though he considered this another part of his duty.
And it was, but at least I was confident that there was more to it.
“Well, let’s finish our breakfast then,” Bella said, and began eating.
The waffles before me had lost their appeal all of sudden, but I pushed myself to smile and eat and drink.
Though Courtney’s mood was dark and Bella’s happiness was hollow.
I understood how they felt. Left out, lost, worried. They wanted to help but I was telling them not to, that they weren’t allowed. It wasn’t fair to them.
But I couldn’t empathize too much with them. I had a huge battle ahead of me.
One I wasn’t sure I could win.
At the very least, I was just glad I had Tavlor with me.
We finished breakfast and Tavlor went off with Bella to check out the rest of our mother’s ancient books, saying perhaps there’d be something else useful in one of them.
I put my mother’s locket back around my neck and sat on my bed for a while, gathering my thoughts.
There was no real reason to pack anything else. I could magic up any sorts of clothes, or food I needed. However, I appreciated the quiet I was surrounded with. It gave me time to find peace.
All I wanted was my sisters, at the end of this journey. I wanted them to have freedom. I wanted them to come with me with no risk to themselves. But I couldn’t take them with me.
“You need any help with a disguising spell?” Courtney asked from the doorway to my room. She tilted her head to the side and I could tell she wanted to do something, anything that would make her feel involved.
“Um... I hadn’t actually thought that far,” I replied honestly. As much as I wanted to tell her that of course she could help, I thought it was best to defer to Tavlor. At least right now. I swallowed. “I don’t know if Tavlor wants to do it or...”