“The good part is though... if I succeed in this, you two will be able to join me in the magical realm,” I said. That was why I was doing this. That was why this was so important to me. Even if Courtney hated me, I knew I was doing what I thought was best for her. “You’ll have a future.”
“Succeed in which way, specifically?” Bella asked. “What do you hope to achieve, Ava?”
I took a big breath, almost afraid to say the things I wanted aloud.
Nothing like jinxing the future by speaking a dream aloud.
However, they were my sisters, and they deserved the truth, even if I didn’t necessarily want to give it to them. I didn’t want to scare them. But I remembered how my mother kept important information from me because she didn’t trust me. Because she didn’t think I was mature enough to handle the truth. I remembered how frustrated, how hurt I felt, and I refused to do the same things to my sister.
“I want... our father to be on our side,” I said slowly. I looked down at my hands, my shoulders sagging. I shouldn’t feel this sad. I should know that he was in a complicated situation himself. I wasn’t exactly the child he wanted. But I still wanted his acknowledgment. It wasn’t as though I asked to be born into this. “I want him to admit that I’m his and declare me his heir.”
Bella sucked in a breath.
“You want to be High Warlock after him?” she asked, tilting her head forward as though she hadn’t heard me correctly.
I shrugged. “I’m not sure it’s possible,” I said slowly. “There’s never been a female High Warlock before, and I’m not sure I’m up to the task. I don’t want to fight over that anyway. I don’t care about that right now.
My concern is being allowed to exist in the first place. I will not be shoved into some jail cell and forgotten. That’s not fair, especially not when I know that things could be better. Could be different.
And the only thing keeping them from being the right way was tradition. Tradition can be changed. I know it can.”
I shook my head. There was so much segregation and discrimination within the other realms. Wars... Surely, they needed help, a new perspective.
Someone who could knock the Council down a peg or two.
Not that I said that out loud; that felt like suicide. I could never be sure if they had the power to listen, even in a realm they knew absolutely nothing about.
Courtney sat with her shoulders slumped and her lips pouting. She looked so hopeless. I wanted to comfort her, but I didn’t want to take away what she was feeling.
Bella reached across the table and touched my hand, forcing me to look away from Courtney and over to her. “So, what’s your plan?”
“My plan is to get Tavlor back here, talk to him about what I can do to get a fair trial,” I said firmly. “Get them to look at the illegitimacy laws. I don’t know.” I shrugged. “There has to be something we can do. I’m sure Tavlor knows more than I do, even with all of the books you’ve managed to sneak away.”
Bella bit her lip. “I haven’t been helping much with that side of things,” she admitted. “I’ve been researching ways to make us stronger, protect us, like this spell.” She gestured to her belly. “But I could start looking into that for you as well.”
I smiled at her. The thought of Bella doing everything she could to help caused me to breathe in relief. “Thank you.”
I looked over at Courtney, whose eyebrows were lowered into an angry stare.
“I’m doing this for you too, Courtney,” I said. Again, I tried not to get defensive. I knew what she was feeling. But she couldn’t continue to be angry at me. I was doing what was best for all of us. “You can see that, can’t you?”
She grimaced, looking away.
“Of course, I can,” she said with an edge to her voice. “You’ve always done your best to protect us. But I hate that you’ll be doing this alone. We can help. If you teach me some more magic, I can fight next to you. You saw how quickly I was able to learn. You know I’m more than capable. I may not be Bella, but I know I can fight.”
A quiver of fear shot straight through my heart. I grabbed for her hand.
“Court, I would love to have you next to me,” I told her, searching her eyes. I needed her to understand that I would do anything to have her with me—as long as it didn’t risk her safety. “I would. And I know that you could help probably more than any other witch or warlock. I trust you one hundred percent. That’s not the reason I need you to stay home.”
She stared at me and I sighed. How could I explain this to the youngest child? She’d never had to worry about anyone other than herself.
“I can’t be out there, fighting, taking risks, and know you’re out there too,” I continued. “They will use you against me. They will figure out who you are and they will use us in order to bend us to their will. The witches on the Council are evil, and vicious and cruel. Can you imagine if I win some fight... then find out they have you, or Bella?’ I shook my head. “No. I couldn’t stand it. I’d give up my rights, my freedom, my life to save you. And the magic realm would be worse for it. Instead of helping, they’d tighten up their laws and make sure none of us would ever be free.”
Courtney looked away. I waited, needing my words to sink in. She crossed her arms over her chest, letting out a breath.
I tried to smile but found it hard. “You two are my greatest strength, and my Achilles heel,” I said warmly. I didn’t want them to think they were burdens to me. “I love you too much to ever see you hurt.”
Courtney pouted, but I could see the fight had gone out of her.