“Lily, I’m calling it an early night,” he yells. I see him nodding toward my way. “Landon, can you get my car? I’ll take his.”
I don’t hear the answer, but I don’t care I sulkily drink the whole glass like a child.
“Let’s go, big boy. And before you get other ideas by my perfect body, I’m taken,” he says, dragging me out of the bar.
~*~
When we arrive at his apartment, he pushes me to the bathroom, “Go, take a shower, dude. I’ll let you borrow some of Landon’s clothes. He won’t mind, I hope… or I’ll need to make it up to him.” He laughs.
Without argument, I go to the bathroom. I need to clear my mind and to be honest with myself I stink. After a warm shower, I wear the sweatpants, and hoodie Toby has left for me. The fit is a little tight, but I don’t mind as my head throbs with the effect of alcohol.
“Here, I made you coffee. Damn, dude. Your one lucky son of a bitch for still breathing after driving in this state.”
Sitting on the couch where it’s been turned into a bed for me I rub my face. “I had to see Acacia. How is she?”
“Perfect. Farting rainbows and wearing her unicorn costume.”
Rolling my eyes at him, I push, “Seriously, Toby. How is she? Has she… has she forgotten me already?”
“You’re a good-looking bastard, but you’re more stupid than average,” he snaps at me as I narrow my eyes at him. Sighing he adds, “I don’t know what you did right with her, but that girl is utterly in love with you, dumbass.”
Hearing those words from her best friend ease the invisible hold around my heart, but trying to hide it I say, “Are you always this insulting?”
Toby smirks. “Nope. It’s special for you.”
“Well, I’m honored.”
~*~
After a few minutes of awkward silence, Toby clears his throat. “Look, man. I know you’ve lost someone you loved. We’ve all experienced loss one way or another, and yours is still new, raw. I know how hard it is, I get it. But if you like Acacia you can’t make a mistake by pushing her away. Why waste time when you can spend it together?”
“I wish it was that easy,” I murmur.
“Enough, dude!” He slams his coffee cup to the table with force.
“That girl lost her parents when she was just seventeen. She was all alone in this world, trying to figure out life. She stood tall on her own two feet… and that girl is willing to put her heart in your hands, can you imagine how much courage that takes? Can’t you be half as brave as her? Don’t you think she deserves a little bit of a chance?”
Swallowing hard, I try to find an answer to that, but there is none. After the long stare, he gives me, he stands up. “You should sleep. Night,” he says, leaving me alone with my thoughts.
ACACIA
One day rolls into the next as I go through the same routine - get up, shower, eat even though everything tastes like cardboard, go to work with a fake smile on my face, and come home to cry myself to sleep.
I’ve never felt like this before except for when I lost my parents.
How can someone come to mean so much to me in such a short time?
How can losing someone I’ve never even had can hurt this much?
He has never belonged to me. I don’t even know if he will come back to me.
I try to forget him, but I can’t… whenever I try, I hear his deep rumbling voice. I don’t even know when he wedged himself so deep into the recesses of my mind.
Taking a deep breath, I plaster the fake smile on my face and enter the bar. Toby walks to me, “Hey Sia, how are you today, babe?”
“Hi guys,” I tell them without making eye-contact with Toby or Lily.
“Sia, look at me.” Toby stands behind me, but I don’t turn to face him; I know as soon as I look at him I’ll start to cry again.” He turns me to face him. All my emotions bubble up to the surface and burst, leaving me a sobbing mess.