“He wasn’t bad, but I’m telling you, Toby, that guy is strange.”
“How do you mean strange?
“Look, let’s say he is too rich, he wasn’t bothered about his car, but he was more concerned, no scratch that, he was too concerned for my wellbeing like I wanted to kill myself or something. He was going on about people dying and wanting to live and that I’m practically throwing my life away. What the fuck!”
“Well, maybe he was concerned that you were hurt?”
“Who would be that concerned about that for a total stranger?!” I’m not used to getting concern from people, especially from strangers. After my parents, had died, I learned to depend on myself only. I was the only one who thought about my wellbeing.
Maybe that was what bothered me the most about this guy?
I shake my head and turn my attention back to Toby, “You don’t understand. You should have been there. If you’d seen the way, he looked at me…”
I sigh when I remember him - he looked so sad, even though he seemed angry, he was kind of vacant. The worst part as I noticed all those things, every little change in him, every little detail about him in that situation.
“Acacia?!” Toby shouts at me to get my attention.
“Toby?!”
“Where did you go again? I was waiting for you to carry on, I thought the line had dropped.”
“Oh, sorry. Look, Toby, I have to go. I have to try and see if I can work something out if he does contact me. I’ll speak to you later.”
“Well, okay. Keep me informed. Bye, babe.”
I end my call with Toby and slump down on the sofa. Looking at the phone in my hand, I set it down on the arm of the furniture and close my eyes as my hands start to shake on their own accord. I clasp my hands together to stop the shaking, but it doesn’t work; tears well in my eyes as the shock of the accident finally hits me. I was too worried about the repair cost I didn’t even focus on the whole situation. I’ve been driving since I was sixteen and I’ve never hit a thing.
God, I never let myself get distracted again - what was I thinking? How stupid I am! He was right. What if I hit a person instead of a car? What if a kid was running out of the market?
What if I share the same end as my parents?
Don’t go there, Acacia! Don’t go there...
Cursing myself for my stupidity, I enter the bathroom and strip off my clothes in an almost robotic way. Under the hot spray, I let the water wash over my tears with the memory of my parents. The pain of losing them has never decreased, I learned to live with this pain. Turning up the temperature to make it as hot as I can bear I turn my face up towards the water and close my eyes letting it pour over me. I get out of the shower only when my tears finally stop; I feel more refreshed and calmer now.
I get dressed in a pair of leggings with an oversized sweater and my thick fluffy socks to keep me warm. After putting my hair in a messy bun, I pad into the kitchen to make hot chocolate. I sit down huddled u
p on the sofa with my mug and think about the events of earlier today. No matter how hard I try, I can’t get his pained expression out of my mind. It was so intense under his rough exterior. Maybe I recognize that expression because I had it for years. I feel sorry for him, but my empathy doesn’t last long because he’d spoken to me like shit!
I don’t know when I fell asleep, but I wake up to vibration on my ass. There is a text from my boss, great - I open up the message…
Bossman - AC I need you to come in early today, I’m short, and before you ask, I’ll pay you double time but I’m in the shit. Be here for 1pm.
As usual, no please or thank you, ugh!
I check the time and rush to the kitchen to prepare myself something to eat when I see it’s already midday. After I’m done I slip on my boots, scarf and coat and head to the bar. I’ll be doing a twelve-hour shift now, instead of my usual nine.
Fuck, I don’t need this today.
I parked at the back of Smokey’s, and walk down the alleyway that leads straight to it. This alley gives me the creeps, but it’s better than walking all the way around for the sake of five minutes. I walk through it as quickly as I can, even though it’s mid-day - it’s still creepy.
Smokey’s bar your traditional tavern and it is packed with the old regulars. They usually come to the bar to drink their beers while reading their newspapers and greet other regulars as if they don’t see each other every day. After short pleasantries to make them feel at home - even though they already do - I carry on out to the back and hang my coat up and prepare for my shift.
The bar is a traditional tavern - all dark wood and wooden floors. I did talk my boss into having bands here on the weekend, though and it worked, we’ve started to get the attention of the younger crowd, too. While it’s still quiet, I stock up behind the bar on the crisps and bottled beers, ready for the lunchtime rush.
Time flows by with the regular lunch crowd. I make small talk with the new faces around, it was fun, but also exhausting. I sigh in relief as the busy crowd leaves the bar to go back to their business. I try to finish filling the fridges with drinks for the night, mumbling to myself about Toby’s whereabouts.
“Any chance of some service?” The deep voice says from behind. Standing from my crouching position, I turn to see him standing at the bar. The guy from this morning, the guy whose car I hit…