It felt like something was missing from the diner. When I wanted someone to vent to, or something funny happened and I wanted to share it, or things were a bit slow and I just felt like a chat, she was always the one I looked for, only to remind myself she wasn’t there. At least we could text and talk on the phone.
It was good for me, but I liked to think it was good for her, too. She always talked about how hard Deacon worked and how much she missed him during the day, and I knew she was starting to really miss the tattoo parlor. Hopefully, having me around to support her kept her spirits up and made sure she wasn't feeling lonely.
It was a long night, she said. How are you?
Doing well. I miss you, I replied.
I miss you, too. Want to come over?
Are you sure you're up for company? I asked.
Absolutely. I feel like it’s been forever since we’ve gotten a chance to just hang out and talk. I’d love to have you over. You won’t believe how big Eloise has gotten already.
Then I’ll be over a little later. Is there anything I can bring you? I asked.
Just you!
That made me smile, but even with her saying that she didn’t need me to bring anything, I wasn’t just going to show up at her house empty-handed. I’d never been one to want children or even to have the desire to spend a lot of time around them, but I’d known my fair share of them. If there was one thing I knew about new mothers, it was that they very rarely wanted to cook.
She greeted me at the door when I got there, smiling wide and reaching out for a hug when I wasn’t even up on the porch yet. Juggling the food, I gave her a squeeze, then followed her inside. The cabin was gorgeous. It was just about everything that my home in Chicago wasn't, but as much as I would have thought I would hate that, I actually loved the warm, cozy space. How much of that was getting to hang out with Rebecca and how much of that was the cabin itself, I wasn’t sure.
“What is all this?” she asked as she led me through the cabin toward the kitchen. “I told you I didn't need anything.”
“I know. But that doesn’t mean I didn’t think you needed something,” I said.
She grinned at me as I put the food down on the table. “Thank you.”
“Any time. What do you want first, cake or poutine?” I asked.
She looked at me like I had presented her with one of the great questions of human existence.
“How about I put some water on to heat up for tea, and while I have my back turned, you make me a plate of whatever you think I should have first?” she asked. “Plates are in the cabinet to the left.”
“Alright,” I said.
I laughed as she dramatically turned her back and walked over to the stove to get the kettle. She filled it at the sink as I got plates down from the cabinet. I loaded one big plate up with the mound of fries and poured over the gravy. Then I added a hunk of cake to two small plates. She turned around and a wider smile stretched across her face.
“I knew I could rely on you,” she said.
She went to a drawer and got out silverware to hand to me. We carried it all into the living room and put it on the coffee table. She pointed out the baby rocking in a bouncer by the couch, peacefully asleep.
“I think I need one of those things,” I said. “That looks like the best sleep ever.”
Rebecca laughed and nodded. “Yeah, it’s a lifesaver. She wants to be held and cuddled all the time, which I love, but it can be really hard to get anything else done in the house when I’m holding a sleeping baby. So, she rocks in that thing and it keeps her totally knocked out for hours. Can you believe how big she is, though? It seems like I blink, and she changes.”
I stepped a little closer and glanced down at her face. She was cute as far as babies went and seemed perfectly sweet as long as she was sleeping quietly. But it really didn’t take much more than that look for me to remember that babies and I didn’t really get along.
It wasn’t that I hated them or anything. It was hard to imagine that there was anyone with a sound mind that truly hated babies. I just didn’t particularly like them. And definitely didn’t want one. I would leave that to the other women in my life. That way if I ever got the urge to tickle a tummy or nuzzle a cheek, I knew where I could find one to fulfill the urge and then return it when I was done.