“The way Indie feels connected?”
“No. The way you feel connected.”
“How is that different?” This isn’t what we’re here to discuss, but I can’t help myself from asking the question.
“Indie feels like a mom.” Maggie shrugs. “That’s just different.”
“How is that different from me? Don’t I feel like a father?”
Maggie laughs. “No.”
“What do you mean, no? I am your father. Not by blood, but I’m the one who raised you.”
“I know. But that’s not what moms and dads are, Adam.”
“Now why are you calling me Adam?”
She giggles. “You’re so sensitive about it. But you just don’t get it.”
“Explain it to me.”
“You know. Like. Moms and dads are… requirements.”
“You didn’t even have a mom until I brought you here.”
“God, don’t you ever listen?”
“I’m listening. You’re just talkin’ in circles.”
“Moms and dads are…” She stops. Starts again. “Moms and dads are…” She sighs. “You should know this. You have a mom and dad.”
“Not really.”
“But in your head, Adam. You have a mom and dad in your head.”
“OK.”
“So that’s what moms and dads are. Just… there.”
“And so I’m the dad?”
“No.” She chuckles. “That’s Nate. Don’t you get it? He’s my dad. You’re my… Adam.” She beams a smile at me. “It’s so different.”
“OK. Whatever. Go on. Wendy…”
“Wendy is like you. Different. And I like her. Not as much as you, but I like her. We’re going to be…” She shrugs.
“Friends?” I offer.
“Sure. We’re gonna be friends.”
But that’s not what she was thinking. What she was trying to say, and couldn’t, was that she’s not connected to Indie and Nathan. Not the way she should be if I hadn’t taken her away from them when she was two. In fact, what she really said was that she’s more connected to Wendy—who is a complete stranger—than she is to her biological mother and father.
And that just makes me feel like a dick.
I’m trying to decide if I should push this line of questioning, and maybe figure out a way to fix the problem, when Maggie changes the subject.
“I like Nick. Do you like Nick?”
“Sure.” But I’m not convincing and she’s not convinced.
“What’s the problem with Nick?”
“Nick isn’t the topic here. Wendy is the topic. What did she talk about?”
“Well, Nick kind of is the topic because that’s my reward, remember? I spy for you, you fill me in.”
And now her grin is devious. Like she’s plotting against me. Not in a serious way. I am one hundred percent sure Maggie won’t ever plot against me the way Indie did. Her life, so far, might not be perfect but I did it a lot better this time around. As a general rule, I don’t make the same mistakes twice. “After you deliver the goods, little girl. Now spill.”
“All right. Well, Wendy and Indie chattered nonstop until almost midnight. It was Nick this and Nate that.” Maggie makes a face. “Like I care about their love lives.”
“What else?”
“Nothing much. They were like…” She makes another face. “So. Gross.”
I can’t stop the laugh. “What’s that mean?”
“You know? They were like teenagers on TV, Adam. Like… stupid teenagers on TV. I thought they were gonna pull out some fuckin’ makeup and turn the night into a mani-pedi party.”
“Magnolia.”
“Sorry. But I really have nothing to report. They didn’t talk about anything interesting. There was no mention of jobs. At all. No killing. No violence. No plans. No secrets. Wendy talked about Nick and Indie talked about Nathan. And I’m just not interested in my mom and dad’s love life, OK?”
I have to chuckle at this. I loooove this little girl so much. She delights me, even when she swears.
She sighs again. “And now you’re gonna say I didn’t earn my reward. And that’s not fair. I did my job. It’s not my fault they were acting like this was some ten-year high-school reunion.”
“They are old friends.”
“Don’t change the subject. I want my reward.”
“Fine. We made a deal and my word is always good.” I reach over, grab the handle of a metal tacklebox, and drag it across the deck towards me. Then I flip it open, fish underneath the top tray, and pull out the envelope. I hand it to her.
She takes a deep breath and the smile that spreads across her face is so real and so big, I have to smile with her. She takes the envelope with reverence. Like we just made our way through some Indiana Jones tomb and this is our hard-earned treasure.
This analogy kinda fits because this is the Nick Tate letter that we found inside the baby-sized coffin when we raided my twin brother’s tomb weeks ago. I didn’t let her read it back then, and she was mad about that. Maggie is motivated by two things: secrets and puzzles. She will solve any puzzle you put in front of her, but once it’s solved, there had better be a secret revealed at the end. She loves secrets. Well, hopefully, so far, knock on wood, she does not love keeping secrets. But she sure does love to learn about them.