“Stay as long as you want,” she says on a long yawn.
“Sophie, that’s how you end up with men who refuse to leave.”
Her body vibrates with a soft giggle.
CHAPTER FORTY-ONE
SOPHIE
“I hate you. And I mean only love by that statement,” Jules says.
I laugh, bare belly catching sun by her pool, a week from my due date. “You’re giving me pool access before your kids get out of school. You can hate me for … whatever reason.”
“You’re cute. You’re basically ready to pop out a baby and you look cute. It’s not fair.”
Chuckling some more, I sip my lemonade. “I’m sure this doesn’t matter, but I feel fat. I mean, beautiful too, but fat. So fat. And I’ve been avoiding Shep because some days I feel gross. And don’t you dare tell Chloe I said that. She’s a freakin’ wreck right now. She comes by my house every day. Texts me hourly. And loses it if she can’t see my location on her Find My Friends.”
“She’s just really excited.”
I sigh. “I know.”
“And Shep … how’s that going? Are you slaying the whole friends thing?”
“Totally. Except when my hormones get the best of me and he witnesses me crying over stretch marks.”
“Oh dear. How did that go?”
He kissed them.
I told him I sometimes pretend the baby is ours.
Then he held me in bed … for the whole night.
“Fine. He’d never be anything but kind to me.”
“Is he dating? I mean. If you’re not having sex with him, someone should be. Right?”
“Don’t know. Don’t care.”
“Liar.”
I frown. “He’s been there, Jules. Like really been there. He rubs my back. Massages my feet. Cooks me dinner. Brings me flowers. Takes Cersei on pack walks before it gets too hot outside. He came over and cleaned my bathrooms the other day. But that’s it. I mean, it’s not like I expect him to be all horny for a nine-month pregnant woman carrying a baby that’s not his. But I thought when we patched things up that something more might come from it. I was wrong. We are friends. Just friends. He stayed the night! We watched a show. I fell asleep. And in the morning, he was next to me fully clothed.”
She clears her throat. “Do I get to say ‘I told you so?’”
“You told me what?”
“I told you he would not feel comfortable pursuing you after he found out about your pregnancy, unless you gave him the green light.”
“I spilled my guts that day at the shop. He has actual footage, and he wrote everything down.”
“Sophie! Gah! That was a friendship speech. I’m sure it was beautiful and epic. You gave me the highlights, and the common theme in the speech was friendship.”
“Not true. I told him that he took my heart piece by piece and then he took the whole thing when we went to Santa Monica.”
“Well, it probably got lost in the friendship speech. If someone gave you a five-minute speech on how ugly you are but they said the word pretty just once, where do you think your focus would be?”
“Duh, on the pretty. I’d be saying ‘Hold up! Did you say I’m pretty?’”
“Congratulations on your astuteness. But Shep might need it put to him a little differently.”
“Different how?”
“Oh, I don’t know. Maybe ‘Shep, I love you. I want you to plant your dick in me from now until eternity. What do you say?’”
I giggle. “I’m not saying that.”
She shrugs. “Fine. Skip the ‘I love you’ part. I honestly think he’ll interpret the other part as a declaration of your undying love for him.”
Biting the inside of my cheek, I stare at the empty floaty in the pool.
“Sophie, the best time to tell someone how you feel about them is now. When you have kids of your own, you’ll find that out quite quickly. You won’t let them go from one room to the next without reminding them how much you love them. Life’s too unpredictable and sometimes painfully unforgiving. Shep could get in a car accident on his way home from work today. Don’t let anything go unsaid.”
She’s thinking of her brother. The things she left unsaid.
“Calvin is the reason I went to optometry school.”
“What?” She lowers her sunglasses to look at me.
“I had a crush on him. The most incurable crush ever. And I was so afraid to tell you. I’m not even sure why. I think I wanted to be able to talk about guys with you, but I knew you’d never let me tell you how hot I thought your brother was.”
“Sophie Ryan …”
I grin. “I had no clue what I wanted to do in life, but following Calvin seemed like as good an idea as any.”
“Huh.” She leans back and rolls her head toward me. “I can’t believe you’re just now telling me this.”
“Well, my dearest friend, Jules, just told me that it’s not a good idea to leave anything unsaid. I fear I have a lot of catching up to do with a lot of people.”