Pressing the bottle to my lips, I tipped it back and finished off the beer, then set it down on the table. I pulled my legs to my chest and rested my chin on my knees as I looked out over the dark water. Lights were scattered about, indicating boats coming and going. Or maybe they were anchored out there. Some only bobbed slightly, the waves moving them this way and that. I hadn’t ever really paid attention to the water at night. It caused my tension to ease some as I watched the dancing lights, knowing that I wasn’t the only one floating around, lost in the dark.
It was a cool night, maybe sixty-two. It wasn’t cold by any means, but I couldn’t seem to shake the chill I’d had all day. When I had gotten to Luke’s place, I’d pulled on one of his Boston Red Sox sweatshirts and a pair of his sweatpants. I was swimming in both, but they made me feel closer to him.
I wasn’t used to this feeling of uncertainty. In a normal relationship, one wouldn’t ever see pictures of the man they loved whisking a woman out of a hotel and into a limo. Well, I guess one could, it just wouldn’t be splashed across the media outlets. One wouldn’t have to pretend it didn’t bother them that their boyfriend kissed other women, even if it meant nothing. It was acting. I’d kissed a man before and felt nothing, so I knew it was possible. The damn nagging doubts about this was unsettling.
Yet, knowing Luke was the one doing it felt different. I couldn’t fully wrap my head around it. But I did know that for the last seven months, I had been pretending. That Luke was off to California on a business trip, and I’d see him when he came home that weekend. When he did, we would lock ourselves away from the world and spend days in and out of bed. I pretended that meeting him at restaurants in dark corners or private rooms was romantic—and it was. But was it something I could keep doing for much longer? I wasn’t sure.
And now? Now the ugly reality of what he did for a living was rearing its head, and I was utterly lost and confused about how I felt. How did wives of actors do it? Watch them pretend to have these relationships? Kiss other women. Touch other women.
“Ugh.”
Sighing once again, I closed my eyes.
“I’m going to really feel like an idiot if you’re sleeping with her,” I whispered to no one but the wind.
After another thirty minutes of watching the stars on the water, I stood, grabbed the beer, and headed back in. I tossed the empty bottle in the recycle bin, took another one out of the fridge, then made my way to the large leather sofa and turned on the TV. I pulled up Amazon and hit Play on Singing in the Rain. As the movie started, my eyelids grew heavier. My effort to keep them open failed and I slowly drifted off to sleep, finally allowing my mind to stop, if only for a little while.
I moaned when I felt a soft caress on my cheek. I knew that touch. Had dreamed of that touch so many times.
“Sweetheart.”
Luke’s voice. I was dreaming that Luke was home.
Letting out a contented sigh, I whispered his name. “Luke.”
“I’m home, love.”
I felt myself smile—then snapped my eyes open to see Luke sitting on the sofa, gazing down at me with his handsome face and that smile that left me utterly breathless. Dimple on full display.
“Am I still sleeping?”
He let out a soft chuckle. “No. I went to your place first to look for you. I’ve been trying to call you using Hank’s phone for the last few hours, but you either turned it off or it needs to be charged.”
I pulled myself up into a sitting position and wiped the sleep from my eyes. “Wait…you didn’t answer my calls or texts.”
He frowned. “I lost my phone. Or someone swiped it from me. Once I figured out it was gone, I had Hank call and turn it off.”
I drew my brows together as I let that explanation sink it. “Someone stole your phone?”
“It’s more likely I lost it. I must have set it down when we were filming on set, and who knows what happened to it. I’ve done it before.”
All I could do was nod.
“I didn’t even realize it until I was in the car heading back to my place when my agent called Hank looking for me.” He took my hand in his and laced our fingers together. “She wanted to warn me about a picture that People had published.”
And just like that, all the warm fuzzies over Luke being here washed away. “Yeah, I saw it.”