‘Where are we?’
‘Chesil Beach,’ he said, guiding her into the beer garden. ‘I’m going inside to order. What do you fancy?’
‘You choose,’ she said, unable to tear her eyes away from the vista. It was quite perfect. To the left, the garden overlooked green fields striped with yellow shale which curved away from them over the rolling hill, dotted with farm buildings and meandering cattle; while in front of her the English Channel sparkled silver in the sun.
No wonder the place was so busy, she thought, her eyes scanning for a place to sit. It was past one o’clock on a summer Saturday, and the garden was already full. She spotted a wooden table away from the crowds and sat down as Adam brought out a jug of Pimm’s complete with chunks of fruit.
‘It’s like a giant swimming pool,’ she laughed, looking up and down the coastline.
‘It’s a lagoon.’
‘How do you know about this place?’
‘I went to boarding school a few miles down the road.’
‘I thought you went to Harrow.’
‘They expelled me,’ he said cheerfully. ‘The first of many.’
Diana only knew the broad strokes of Adam’s tearaway youth. It was not something the family liked to dwell on, not something that fitted in with their usual success and order, and as she sat with him at their rickety table overlooking the coast, ready to hear his story, she realised that the two of them had had very few heart-to-hearts, spent very little time alone, even though the brothers had been quite close.
‘How many schools did you leave?’ she asked, pouring Pimm’s into a glass.
‘Three.’ He grimaced.
The waitress came and put two club sandwiches on the table, and Adam waited until she had gone before he spoke again.
‘You know I always wanted to be like Julian. Strong, capable, accomplished. He was a few years older than me. Too old to be my friend, so he became my hero. I wanted to be like him so much, but when I realised I never could, I must have subconsciously decided to be everything he wasn’t. It was a philosophy that kind of got me into trouble.’
‘You’re very alike. I always thought that.’
‘I don’t think anyone else has ever shared that opinion.’
‘You’re more alike than you realise. Kind of different sides of the same coin.’
‘My parents don’t agree with you.’
She knew what it was like for a parent to have a favoured child. In their family it had been her, a state of affairs she had struggled to understand, struggled to accept; until the scandal, she had always felt a deep sense of guilt about it.
Not wanting to think about that, she tipped her head back and let the sun shine on her face.
‘This place is amazing. I can’t believe I’ve never been here before.’
‘Never?’ he said disbelievingly.
‘I’ve been missing out.’
He gave a soft snort. ‘You know, since Jules died, I’ve been thinking a lot about all the things I haven’t done, all the things I want to do. Is that selfish?’
‘No. It’s only natural to think about your own mortality.’
He looked deep in thought.
‘So what’s on your bucket list?’ she asked, picking at some lettuce. ‘What are the things you’ve always wanted to do? Compared to most men, you’ve probably done a lot. Driven a Bond car. Slept with a Sports Illustrated cover girl . . .’
He didn’t deny it.
‘There’s loads of stuff I’ve not done. I know I’ve got money, and that’s great, but I just haven’t got my arse into gear to do things.’