‘No, it isn’t. You don’t love me—you want to heal me because you see me as broken. And I don’t need to be healed. As for deserving love—that is irrelevant. I don’t want love; I don’t need love. I have come to terms with my past and I am moving forward. I’m not going to change. Any more than Gary, Steve or Hugh. So please don’t waste your time thinking you love me. Find someone who will be good for you and to you. Someone who will father your children, whichever way you choose to have them. That man isn’t me.’
The words were so final, so heavy, that she could feel her heart crack.
‘Then I’d best get to London.’
What else was there to say?
CHAPTER FIFTEEN
THE CLICK OF the door unglued Ethan’s feet from the floor, sent him striding forward, her name on his lips. Only to stop. What was he doing? He’d rejected her love so why was he following her? To do what?
His gut churned. He didn’t want to hurt Ruby—hadn’t wanted to a decade ago and didn’t want to now. Somehow he had to make her see that he was right—she did not love him, whatever she believed. All he needed to do was convince her of that.
Maybe she’d work it out herself. See that every word he’d said was the truth. The past was over and he had come to terms with it. Had worked out that the best way forward was to move on, to channel his anger into becoming a success and using that success to help others. That worked for him—he didn’t need love or a family. Didn’t want love.
So why did he sound as if he was trying to convince himself?
The door swung open and Ethan swivelled round, his heart hammering in irrational hope that she had come back. Instead he saw Rafael Martinez, his expression creased in a small puzzled frown. ‘A red-haired woman brought me here. Who is she?’
Pull it together, Ethan.
‘Cora Brookes. My new hotel administrator.’
‘I see.’ Rafael frowned and rubbed his jaw. ‘I had the distinct impression that Cora Brookes doesn’t like me. She walked me here at the rate of knots and avoided all eye contact. Yet she looks familiar. Anyway it doesn’t matter. I’m here, and ready to auction like a pro tomorrow. I also have a business proposition I want to discuss with you. But you look as though business is the last thing on your mind.’
He needed to get it together. This was Rafael Martinez and this was business.
‘I’m fine. Happy to talk business. Why don’t we go to my office?’
Get away from this banqueting hall with all its memories of Ruby.
Rafael’s dark eyes surveyed him with what looked like amusement. ‘And how is the lovely Ruby Hampton?’
‘Fine.’ If Rafael was about to show even the most tepid interest in Ruby, Ethan had every intention of ramming his teeth down his throat. Business or no business. ‘Why do you ask?’
‘Whoa!’ Rafael lifted his hands in the air. ‘I was just curious. I get that she is off-limits.’
‘Yes, she is.’
Rafael’s eyebrows rose. ‘Well, if you have an interest there you should know she has left the castle at speed—with a suitcase.’
Ethan paused as his brain attempted to compute the situation. Why would Ruby have taken a suitcase when she planned to return the same day? Unless she’d figured the journey there and back was too far? Needed some space? That must be it. Yet panic whispered in his gut.
There was a knock at the door and Cora entered, glanced at Rafael and then away again. ‘Ethan. I’m not sure if I should mention this or not, but Ruby seemed upset and I’m not sure she’s coming back.’
‘What do you mean? It’s the ball tomorrow.’
‘I know.’ Cora hesitated. ‘It’s just... She gave me the whole breakdown of the event in intricate detail—as if it was possible that she wouldn’t be here. I mean...to be honest I can cover the admin side, because you and Ruby have planned it all down to the last detail. But I can’t meet and greet or mingle with the guests. We agreed that.’
Her even voice held the hint of a quaver as her turquoise eyes met his and Ethan nodded. She was right. They had.
As if aware of Rafael’s gaze as he studied her expression, Cora shifted so her back was to him. ‘And, more importantly, as Ruby put all the work in I think she should be here to see the success I am sure it will be. I thought you should know.’
Ethan hauled in breath, tried to think.
Of course Ruby wouldn’t leave.
You sure, Ethan?