The whole point of getting a new job was to cut all ties with Ben in the hope that it would cure her, or at least make her stop missing him.
When, true to his word, he had got in touch with her and offered to take Jodie out, she had kept their contact to emails only, and asked her mum to drop Jodie off and pick her up. Yet she had hung on her daughter’s every word on her return, desperate to glean any information she could.
Madness.
She looked up as her mother entered the lounge. ‘Hello, darling. I was hoping to catch you. Your dad says hi and congratulations on the new job.’
‘Fab. I’ll drop round and see him later today or tomorrow.’
Slowly but surely she and her father were progressing—with lots of tears and sometimes some pain. But the more they spoke the easier it became, and she could almost see the bridges being built, a new relationship being forged. Enough so that she planned to take Jodie to see her grandfather very soon.
Mary hesitated. ‘Can we talk?’
‘Of course. Is everything OK?’
‘It is with me, but I’m worried about you.’ Her mother ran a hand down her skirt in an uncharacteristically nervous gesture. ‘I’m just going to ask you something straight out. No shilly-shallying. Do you love Ben?’
‘No. Of course not. Why would you think that?’
But she couldn’t hold her mother’s gaze, knew the game was up.
‘Because I’m your mum and I know you. Plus, Jodie has told me enough that I’m pretty sure I’m right.’
Sarah sighed. She knew she could continue her denial but what would be the point? ‘Yes,’ she said simply.
‘Does he know? Does he not feel the same way?’
‘He doesn’t know, but I know he doesn’t feel the same way. Even if he did it wouldn’t make any difference. I wouldn’t take it further.’
‘Why not?’ Mary frowned.
‘Because it wouldn’t be fair to Jodie. If I get it wrong—if it goes wrong—I don’t want her to lose another dad. I messed up enough the first time.’
‘And you think Ben is like Kevin?’
‘No! Absolutely not! There isn’t a single similarity between them. Ben is a kind, good, generous man. He stands for everything Kevin wasn’t.’ She let out a sigh. ‘But I still wouldn’t risk it.’
‘That doesn’t make sense.’ Her mum’s voice was gentle now. ‘If you believe Ben is a good man, do you think that if he grew to love Jodie, and she him, he’d leave her in the lurch if you and he split up? He has taken Jodie out twice since you moved back here and you aren’t even dating.’
The words slotted into Sarah’s brain. Why hadn’t she seen that? Ben knew what it felt like to have love taken away, to be left in the lurch. He’d never inflict that on another person.
Sarah stared at her mother. ‘You’re right. But...but I still don’t think I can take the risk.’
‘Yes, you can.’ Mary walked forward. ‘I think this is to do with losing Imo. Imo lost her chance at life, Sarah. Don’t lose yours too. She wouldn’t have wanted that, and I don’t either.’
Her mum pulled her into a hug, a fierce, strong embrace full of love, and Sarah returned it, her brain fizzing as it took on board what her mother had said.
* * *
Ben stared unseeing at the screen, a scowl on his face. Not that there was anything to scowl at. Scowling just seemed to come naturally these days. In actual fact the screen showed sales going through the roof—the new range was a massive hit and the resultant bottom line should be making him very happy.
But he wasn’t. Wasn’t happy at all. And it was beginning to get to him.
Maree knocked and walked in, a look of uncharacteristic wariness on her face.
‘Bad news?’
‘Nope. Just seems rude to smile when you’re looking so grumpy.’