Sarah gave a shaky laugh. ‘I didn’t know any good lawyers. I was too dazed, too in shock to think straight. I should have contacted my parents, but I felt so ashamed, and it felt so hypocritical to run to them for help. I kept thinking that it was all a mistake, that of course Kevin couldn’t have done that to me.’ She took another look at him. ‘You really believe me?’
He reached out and tilted her chin upwards, so she had to look directly into his eyes, where he could see sincerity blazing forth. ‘I really do.’
Then, as if to seal the declaration, and as if he couldn’t help himself, he shifted forward and brushed his lips against hers.
He pulled back and she couldn’t help her small gasp of protest. So she leant forward, cupped his cheek in her hand and felt rough stubble under her fingers. She pulled him towards her—and then he was kissing her again.
The world tipped into slow motion, the dusk seemed to blanket them, and she closed her eyes to lose herself in sensation: in the firmness of his mouth, the taste of his lips, the shifting of the sofa as he moved closer to her and angled their bodies to a perfect fit. Then he deepened the kiss and her lips parted on a small gasp of pleasure. Her body shivered as a ripple shuddered through his broad frame.
It was like floating on a cloud of cotton. Nothing else mattered...nothing at all...
Until he pulled back and she saw regret fighting the desire in his eyes.
‘I’m sorry.’
‘I’m not.’ To her own surprise, she wasn’t. ‘I wanted to kiss you.’
r />
New-found optimism, a bubble of joy, and the relief of telling him the secret she’d buried for so long replayed again and again in her head, turning her lips upward in a smile.
‘And I enjoyed every second.’
Now his own lips turned up. ‘That’s good to hear. But...’
‘But it can’t go any further. I know that.’
A part of her wanted it to, but she knew he was right. A one-night stand wouldn’t work for her. She wasn’t wired like that. She didn’t want to sleep with someone who had already factored in the goodbye. Because whilst she had no doubt the night would bring a physical satisfaction she couldn’t imagine, she sensed it would also bring emotional hurt. She wouldn’t be able to read the headlines about Ben with his next woman. It was as simple as that.
And so she slid away from him and rose to her feet. ‘But now would be a good time for this. Wait here a second.’
* * *
Ben tried to focus, tried to think, but his brain had been frazzled by that kiss, by its intensity, its sweetness...all underlain with the knowledge that it could go no further. However much his body wanted more, yearned for more, he knew it couldn’t happen. They’d already crossed a line and, foolish though it sounded, that kiss had transcended the physical.
It had been a kiss that had stemmed from an emotional connection.
And that was disastrous on so many levels he wasn’t even going to analyse it.
What Sarah had shared with him had made that even more absolute. Kevin had been a loser, an idiot and lower than scum. Sarah knew that, but still felt she’d deserved everything she’d got, and her fear of losing her self-respect made more sense than ever. He would not be the person responsible for that loss.
Sarah deserved a real, long-term relationship with a man who would love and cherish her and look after her. In other words, not him.
The realisation was strangely bleak but absolute.
‘Here.’
Refocusing, he saw that Sarah was standing in front of him, her face flushed, partly with the after-effects of their kiss but also, he sensed, with a touch of embarrassment.
She held out a package—a wrapped package. ‘What is it?’
‘It’s a gift. I was going to give it to you on the plane on our way back, but now seems better.’
‘You didn’t have to get me a gift.’
‘I wanted to. To say thank you. This has been magic. You’ve made a real difference to my life with this opportunity. The money will make a huge difference to Jodie’s future, but it’s more than that. You’ve shown me what I’m capable of. So this... I mean, I know it can’t really show you, but I wanted you to have it... If you don’t like it...’
Taking the gift from her, he realised that he had no idea what to say or how to react. When was the last time anyone had given him a gift?