‘Ava, I’m sorry. All of that is too much for one person to carry.’ Only she had carried it and carried it without complaint. More than that, she hadn’t let it blight her life.
‘No. I don’t want your pity.’ She shifted to face him and the flicker of the firelight dappled her blonde hair, illuminated the classic beauty of her face, emphasised its strength and character. ‘I’ve had a good life. I’ve never wanted for any material thing and my father did love me. We had good times together. Good family times. And my parents were happy in their own way. Their life was
hardly full of hardship. I have friends, a job I love, if I could only figure out how to do it.’
‘I’m not pitying you.’ He needed her to believe that, understood exactly what she meant. ‘I am full of admiration for you and the way you have dealt with everything life has thrown at you. Not just dealt with it—you’ve thrived.’
Now their gazes locked and he couldn’t help it, she was so close, so beautiful, he leant forward and lightly brushed his lips against hers and an intensity of sweetness flooded him, as if he were afloat in sensory joy. He deepened the kiss, and her arms looped round his neck, her body pressed against his, and now the background faded and there was nothing except Ava. But this time he knew a kiss couldn’t be enough, for either of them, could feel her need, her yearning, match his. He craved the taste of her skin, to touch, caress and revel in her body. To glide his hand over the satin sheen of her bare skin.
Her hand slid under the soft cotton of his shirt and he heard his own groan as she placed it over the beat of his heart.
‘Ava.’ Her name was a whisper, a question, and she pulled away slightly.
Placed a finger against his lips. ‘Shh. I want this, Liam. To lose myself in this, forget the world and reality and just feel.’
Now a muffled alarm rang in his head, trying to tell him, warn him, and he didn’t want to listen, dammit. This was right, beautiful, wonderful... ‘I want you,’ she said.
‘And I want you.’
‘Then what are we waiting for?’ Her voice was breathless, caught on a half-laugh, half-gasp of desire.
Then he remembered that he hadn’t prepared for this moment, hadn’t intended it.
As if she read his mind she pressed close to him. ‘Don’t worry. Five-star service includes a discreet stash of condoms. I happened to find them earlier when I went to the loo.’
Relief swathed him. ‘Then what are we waiting for?’ Rising, he tugged her up with him and they climbed the spiral stairs, entered the magical, beautiful bedroom and he tumbled her back onto the bed, under the canopy of the stars.
CHAPTER FOURTEEN
THE NEXT MORNING Ava opened her eyes, saw the twist and tumble of the sheet, felt colour heat her cheeks as she saw her clothes strewn haphazardly on the floor. Closed her eyes for a moment and allowed herself to savour the memories of the previous hours: the heat, the passion, the laughter and the joy as their bodies intertwined, discovered each other. Explored, touched, gave and received such intense pleasure.
But where was Liam? And, more to the point, what now?
For a second Ava was tempted to lie back and hide under the duvet, but before she could do anything Liam popped his head round the door.
‘Morning, sleepy head. I’ve got breakfast on the go. A full English awaits, all local produce, all fresh and all delicious.’
‘I’ll be right down. Give me ten minutes.’
Ten minutes to figure this out. Lord knew she didn’t, couldn’t, regret the night just gone, but she also knew it shouldn’t have happened. Her mind whirred, told her that it was impossible to analyse this situation until she could gauge what Liam thought.
She had no idea how he felt—all she knew was his preference for one-night stands and no emotional involvement. Was that what last night had been? For Liam that was all it could be—the only way he could reconcile it with his feelings for Jess. Jess—would he be thinking of her now? Had he been thinking of her last night? No, she wouldn’t believe that—couldn’t believe it.
Shoving aside the whisper of doubt, she swung her legs out of bed, her mind analysing what to wear, how to project the right persona—cool, casual, the sort of modern mature woman who could separate sex from emotion. She settled for jeans and a long cream knitted jumper. Kept her hair loose and her make-up minimal.
As she entered the kitchen he smiled, but his cobalt eyes held caution even though his tone was light. ‘Perfect timing.’
‘It looks delicious. Thank you.’ Yet right now the idea of food made her tummy ache and loop as she watched Liam. She could almost see the barricade he had put up. Gone was the man who had taken her to such heights mere hours ago, the man who had held her with such tenderness and stoked her to such passion. For a moment Ava wondered if the whole night had been a series of fevered dreams. ‘We need to talk.’
‘Yes.’ Wariness played over his face, but it was more than that—she could see regret, apprehension, and that made hurt twist inside her.
‘Last night was...wonderful and I don’t regret it one bit.’ His shoulders relaxed slightly and the worry made a small retreat in his cobalt eyes and gave her the impetus to continue. ‘And I hope you don’t either.’
His gaze met hers. ‘I don’t regret it.’
But she could see shadows in his eyes, and she wondered what he was thinking. Of Jess? Did this feel like a betrayal of his wife? ‘I’m not sure that’s true,’ she said, careful to keep her voice gentle. ‘I know you prefer one-night stands with women you don’t know.’
Three strides and he had moved round the breakfast bar, was standing in front of her. ‘Look at me.’ Oh, so gently he raised a hand and placed a finger under her chin, tipping it up so she met his gaze. ‘I swear last night was magical. I don’t even know how to put it into words...and I don’t regret it. But it wasn’t planned or intended and I’m worried I took advantage of you. You were upset and you are still grieving and...’