Chapter Thirty
Kaitlyn
Chloe stared at me blankly as I tried to explain why we couldn't waste any time getting to the city. I hated doing it, feeling like I was giving them an ultimatum rather than a choice: come with us and live or go to your family and risk getting stuck out here.
“I need to find out if my mom and dad are okay,” she said eventually. “But I understand why you can't risk driving us around. I'll come and find you once we get to the city.”
“Are you sure?” I glanced at Tara who still hadn't said anything. She was clutching Chloe's hand and it didn't seem like she would be separated from her.
“We’ll go together,” Kristen added. “We've got knives and it’s light out now. It doesn't seem like so much has happened on this side of the river anyway.” Ella nodded her agreement.
“Okay.” I dropped my gaze, wishing I could offer more help but I knew Linc wouldn't change his mind and I had my own family to think about.
“I'm going with them too,” Lacey said and my eyes snapped up to meet hers. “I'll get to the city right after I go home but I can't just abandon my family. They might be waiting for me to come back before they'll get to safety themselves. If I don't go home it could be as good as making them miss their chance to get in.”
I opened my mouth to protest, I wanted to beg her to come with us but I knew it wouldn't change her mind. I'd make the same choice if our positions were reversed.
“We’ll come to the city with you,” Shilo said and Rose nodded along. I knew they would; their families didn't live here anyway so there was no reason for them not to join us.
The front door opened and I looked around as Lincoln came in. My cheeks heated at the memory of our almost-kiss and I turned away from him again.
“Is everything okay?” he asked and I knew he was really asking if I'd broken the news yet.
“I've told them,” I replied tersely. I felt terrible sending them off on their own and I didn't want to look at him in case I turned my guilt into anger at him.
“I just need to tell the others. Lacey, can I have a word?” I didn't wait for her reply and headed to the kitchen.
Reese passed me in the hallway, almost crashing into me as he jogged for the front door. He didn't apologise and slammed the door behind him as he headed outside. I swore at him under my breath as I turned away.
“I'm sorry Kaitlyn but I'm not going to change my mind,” Lacey began as she followed me into the kitchen.
I ignored her and pushed the door shut behind us, pulling her further into the room and away from the others.
“I feel like total shit saying this,” I began. “And you can judge me all you want but you have to promise not to say anything.”
“About what?” she asked, her dark eyes wary.
“Tell the others you've changed your mind and you're gunna come with us to the city-“
“But-“
I shushed her as she tried to object. “Just tell them that and I'll make Lincoln stop at your house. We have to drive right past it anyway so it doesn't make sense for you to walk there. And if your family is there then we bring them with us and if not…”
Lacey glanced over her shoulder and bit her lip.
“I tried to convince him to go to everyone's places but he really thinks they might stop taking people into the city. We have to go and we can't stop everywhere but it will take hardly any time to stop at yours and… I can't lose you.” I felt tears prickling my eyes and shame washed over me.
“Stop doing that,” she said quietly as she pulled me into a hug.
“What?”
“Blaming yourself. It's not up to you to keep everyone safe. We're all as screwed as each other and you're just lucky enough to have Lincoln on your side. You've offered to take everyone with you and they've made their own choices to leave. How have any of them offered to help you?”
“I know but...”
“But nothing. I'll come with you. I'll tell them I changed my mind. Thank you.” She squeezed me tighter before releasing me and heading out of the room.
My heart lifted slightly knowing I wasn't going to have to leave everyone behind. I took a deep breath and prepared to break the news to the rest of the group who were out by Lincoln's truck.