I nod. “Yeah. My heart’s involved.”
“Are you in love with her?” he asks, shock evident in his tone.
“No, but I’m falling hard and fast,” I confess. “I wish I could explain it to you, but it doesn’t even make sense to me.”
“Try,” he urges.
I open my mouth to attempt to tell him how it feels to be with her. To know that she’s in this with me, but my phone rings. I glance at the dash of my Jeep, and my smile widens. Reaching out, I tap the screen. “Hey,” I greet my girl. “You’re on speaker. Ollie and I are headed to grab some lunch.”
“Hey, you. Hi, Oliver,” she says.
“Hey, Peyton.”
“How was practice?” she asks.
“Grueling. Yours?”
“About the same,” she groans. “Took a ball to the shoulder.”
“Shit.”
“Yeah. I’m heading back to my apartment now. I’m going to ice it and just chill. I’m done for the day.”
“I” I start, but she stops me.
“I know, Griff. I’m fine. I promise. You two enjoy your lunch. I just wanted to check in.”
“I’ll call you when we get back to the dorm.”
“Okay. Bye, Oliver.”
“Bye, Peyton. Take care of that arm,” he tells her.
“I’m on it.” Her laughter dies off as she ends the call.
Frustrated, I run my hands through my hair. I hate that she’s there and hurting, and I can’t be there. I know there is nothing that I can do, but I could hold her. I could get her ice and sit with her.
“It’s killing you, isn’t it?” Oliver asks.
“What?”
“It’s killing you that you can’t be there with her.”
“Is it that obvious?”
“It is.”
“It’s the ‘her hurting’ part that gets me. I wish I could be there.”
“You know these kinds of injuries. There’s nothing you could do to help her.”
“No, but holding her would help me.” That’s the heart of the matter. I’ve never met a girl I just wanted to be there for. I’d give anything to be able to hold her right now. Take care of her as we lie around watching movies and icing her arm. It sounds like the perfect afternoon to me. Aside from her injury, I’d be there to take care of her.
“You’re not falling, brother. You’re already there.”
“What?” I glance over at him as I pull into the lot of the deli. “I’m pretty sure I’d know if I was in love with her.”
Oliver just shakes his head. “Come on. Let’s get some lunch so we can get back to the dorm and you can call and check on her.”
“You’re talking my language,” I tell him.
“Two weeks and your language is Peyton.”
I don’t argue the fact because it’s true. “My chest is tight, and there’s this happy, bubbly part of me that wants to shout to the world that she’s mine. I miss her, but at the same time, I know she’s doing something she loves. Long distance is harder than I thought it would be. I knew I would miss her, but it’s been a week, and it feels like a part of me is missing.”
“And you say you’re not in love with her.”
“I said I was falling.”
“You’ve already crashed and burned,” he jokes.
“Maybe.” I shrug. “I can tell you that even though this sucks, the alternative is not having her in my life, and that’s not something I’m willing to accept.” I grab the keys from the ignition and climb out of the Jeep.
We’re quiet as we walk into the deli. Girls call out to us. I wave, but I don’t smile or flirt like I would have before. They’re not Peyton, and none of them ever will be. We order our food and find a table. We’re both diving in starving when two girls approach our table. One lays her hand on my shoulder, and the other does the same to Oliver. It’s nothing new, but it feels different. Wrong even.
“Sorry.” I turn to look at the girl. “Can you move your hand?”
“Oh.” She looks taken aback that I would even ask. “I guess I could sit on your lap,” she coos.
I don’t bother holding the eye roll. “I have a girlfriend.”
“Since when? Word on campus is you’re single.”
“Well, the word is wrong. I’m taken, so step back.” I glance across the table at Oliver, and he barely contains his laughter.
“You don’t have to be a dick about it,” the girl seethes.
“Then stop touching me.” I shift in my seat, and her hands drop from my arm.
“Whatever.” She crosses her arms over her chest and storms off, her friend following hot on her heels.
“Sorry I fucked that up for you,” I tell Oliver.
“Nah, I’m not interested.”
“Since when?” I ask him. “Before I met Peyton, we would have been flirting our asses off with the two of them.”
“Yeah, but that was pre-Peyton.”
“I’m the one in a relationship, man. Not you.”
“I told you I’m envious.”