Angie nodded. “Yes, and Laurie had one two months before me. Mom calls us a baby factory, but that’s what happens when you have five girls in eight years. You think that would help? He seems so distant.”
“So bring him back.” She wanted to walk into that rec center and wrap her arms around him, but she believed Angie that her presence could cause him distress.
They’d made their choices. He’d chosen to walk away rather than be the reason she stayed, and she’d chosen to be angry with the boy she’d loved since she’d first laid eyes on him.
They could have found a friendship, reconnected, but she’d been hurt and now she couldn’t help him.
“Show him life didn’t stop.” Maddie was absolutely sure of this path. “Make him look down at his nephews and nieces and realize he still matters, that no matter how broken he feels, he can put himself back together. If he gives you trouble tell him how much you have to do and that you could use his help. Make him feel a little bad so he can find a way to feel good again.”
“That could work.” Angie sounded hopeful. “Cover him in babies. I can do that.”
Maddie gave her a smile that wouldn’t camouflage the fact that she was crying. “Good. Tell my mom work called and there’s a problem I need to deal with. I’ll come pick her up when she’s ready.”
“Maddie, I…” Angie began.
But she’d made her point, and there was nothing to do about it now. Maddie fished the keys to her overly expensive car out of her bag. “No, it’s okay. I don’t want to make this about me. I’ve already done that enough. And this is absolutely the first time I’ve worn this dress and these shoes, and I will probably never wear them again because they are uncomfortable.”
She started for her car.
“I’ll tell your mom,” Angie promised. “And, Maddie, thank you.”
She nodded and forced herself to walk away. It was time to move on. She thought she had, but if there was one thing she was absolutely certain of it was the fact that she’d never gotten over Deke Murphy.
Not even a little bit.
* * * *
He was surrounded by people he loved and he couldn’t feel a thing. He felt numb, like someone had hollowed out his insides and he was walking around empty.
All in all, it wasn’t how he’d thought his big homecoming would go.
Deke sat at one of the folding tables the ladies of his family had decorated with the same tablecloths they’d probably used at the party to celebrate his parents’ marriage thirty plus years ago. That was how little things changed in Calhoun. Once he’d found the familiarity comforting. Now it was jarring because he knew he should recognize his childhood hometown as soothing, but his world was colored with blood and violence and anger.
He knew how small he was.
He knew how fragile he was.
The comforts of family and home could be stripped away so easily.
The doors came open and he watched as Evelyn Hill walked in carrying a familiar looking car seat. He was sure one of his nieces or nephews was in it. His sisters were breeding like rabbits.
He watched to see if Maddie walked in behind her mom. She was in town. His father had mentioned that casually this morning over the eggs and toast his mom had made. He’d barely touched it before, and after the news that the only woman he’d ever loved was not two miles away, he hadn’t eaten at all.
He wasn’t hungry anymore. Not for food or drinks or drugs. It was weird but he kind of wished he wanted drugs. It would mean he wanted something. Instead, he simply wanted to sleep, but even there he was tormented by dreams that seemed more real than his waking life.
What would Maddie think when she saw him? She would probably get down on her knees and thank the heavens he’d made the choice he’d made. He knew damn well she still resented him for leaving her. That would go away if she knew how easily he’d broken. She would be happy he’d spared her the horrors of being chained to him.
He’d played the encounter out in his head a thousand times. She would be gorgeous and happy. She would smile at him, but this time it would be the kind of smile someone gave a suffering creature to show solidarity and sympathy. She would ask him how he was doing and he would say what he always said. As good as can be.
And then she would walk away and go back to changing the world. He would sit here and watch the world pass him by.
“Anything I can get you, son?” His mother had a red plastic cup in her hand, likely filled with lemonade or whatever punch she’d made. “Aunt Betty brought her seven-layer dip and deviled eggs, though she and Bobbie are arguing over whether to call them spiced eggs. I swear that new church Bobbie’s going to takes things way too seriously. She brought an angel food cake to balance out Marian’s devil’s food cupcakes.”