Harlan, I sure hope you’re open to catch this pass I’m lobbing your way.
But whether he is or not, I need to do this for me.
This is the right way to live. This makes me happy.
And I’m doing it.
My phone is silent the rest of the afternoon as I go for a swim to calm my nerves, then still as Olive and I bring Zachary into the plans and finalize our ideas with him.
They might also watch a few more cat videos.
As a big orange cat leaps onto a piano on Zachary’s screen, I check my phone again, hoping for a reply.
But there isn’t one.
I swim back into work. We make calls and come up with a pitch that we hope Lacey will love. I try not to stress about hearing from Harlan.
Besides, there’s time. I’ll surely talk to him tonight, and we’ll be all set before Olive and I see Lacey tomorrow.
But at four-thirty, my sister sighs a heavy, “Oh.”
I snap up my gaze from my phone, tension tightening in me. “What is it?”
She hums thoughtfully at her desk, then raises her face from the screen. “Lacey just emailed me. She says she has an all-day meeting tomorrow, but she lives in Hayes Valley and wants to grab a drink in an hour.”
My heartbeat races to the moon.
It’s fine, it’s fine, it’s fine.
I repeat that over and over.
I call up my yoga mantras too.
Yoga and wine and coffee and something. Yoga is how I pretend to be calm . . . and fuck! I’m not calm. I can’t settle down.
But I need to. I need to trust Harlan meant it when he said he’d be by my side.
I need to trust I’m not hurting him.
I take a deep breath, set a hand on my chest, and will my heart to quiet.
I send him one more message as we leave the office.
Katie: Hi!!!!! I’m freaking out. Is everything okay?
But I don’t hear from him as we head to the bar to meet Lacey, and I do my best to be the cool, collected businesswoman I am.
Or should be.
When I reach the lobby of our building, I’m anything but cool and collected. Especially not when Harlan walks through the revolving door and straight toward me.
29
Harlan
That was an exhausting practice.
But a damn good one. I knock fists with Cooper, then Jones as we leave the field. It’s been a long-ass day of stretching, game film, drills, and playbook review.
Then lots of time with the receiver’s coach.
“I feel good and ready for Sunday. You guys?” I ask.
“Hell, yeah,” Jones says.
“Bring on New York. If we win, we’ll clinch a playoff post,” Cooper adds.
“Gee, I hadn’t noticed,” Jones deadpans.
“Smartass,” Cooper says as we head down the corridor. “The wife is coming, and the kids, and I cannot wait to give her a kiss at the edge of the field once we secure our spot. It’s my lucky tradition, and I won’t break it.”
“I’ll do the same with my woman,” Jones adds.
“You two are too cute,” I say, shaking my head in amusement at their romantic antics.
But inside, my heart squeezes a little harder than I’d like. I want what these guys have. Want it badly.
Took me long enough to find the woman I want to share those moments with. But I’ve found her, and I can’t wait to start up with her for real.
In public.
In the light of every damn day.
The possibility of that someday, maybe next season, brings a smile to my face.
“What are you grinning about, chuckles?” Cooper asks when we reach the locker room.
“Just thinking about games and stuff,” I say. It’s sort of true, and sort of not.
I hit the shower and get dressed, and once I’m buttoning my shirt, I grab my phone from my locker.
“See you all tomorrow,” I tell the guys as I take off, powering on my cell as I go.
Once I’m in the hallway, I order a Lyft, then my notifications light up.
I check to make sure Danielle’s got Abby as planned.
Yup. All set.
Abby even texted me from Danielle’s phone with an I love you!!!!!!!!
Complete with eight exclamation points and, also, nine heart emojis.
I write back, telling my girl I love her too, then I find a text from the woman I’m crazy for, and I slide it open.
Whoa.
I read it twice.
Holy hell.
She did this?
She. Did. This.
She fucking did this.
Katie is brave and gutsy and sexy and all mine.
Also, she sounds worried AF.
That is not okay.
I pick up my pace through the hall, texting her back as I go.
Harlan: Is everything okay, you ask? Everything is amazing. You’re amazing. And that sounds like more than a busy day. I’m coming to see you.
NOW.
Do not worry about a thing with me. EVER.
I Google her work address, and when I get in the Lyft, I change my destination, giving the driver the address to Katie’s corporate headquarters instead.