I needed to stop letting myself do that. Right then I was focused on getting my career off the ground and building up the life I wanted for myself, but I knew there would be a time when that would be achieved, and my focus would change to being a wife and a mother. Even without venturing that far into my future, I did think about how nice it would be to share my life with someone.
I was never going to get that if I was so willing to step aside while still longing and found something wrong with the guys who did approach me. I needed to stop being hung up on the unattainable and let myself be open to what might happen for me.
Those thoughts were still with me the next morning as I got ready for work. I thought back through my date, wondering if my perspective on it would change if I looked at it from the distance of a little bit of time having gone by. Maybe I had just built-up expectations about the date in my mind and didn’t even realize I did it, so when it didn’t happen the way that I thought it would, it disappointed me.
But even going over the whole thing again, I couldn’t make it work out in my head. Josh was still so young, and I still wasn’t interested. I needed to cut my losses and keep moving forward, but with a willingness to be more open.
On my way to work, I swore to myself I was going to give the next guy who approached me for a date a chance. A real one.
I got to the diner and found it already in chaos. Jake, Sarah, and Jacki, the other three servers on the roster for the night, rushed up to me with wide eyes and expressions of panic.
“Molly overbooked,” Sara said. “She took reservations for three different bridal showers, an engagement party, and a family reunion. Now there are people who have been waiting for a table for almost an hour, and they’re frustrated because they see empty tables throughout the restaurant, but they can’t grasp that those tables are for other people who are coming in soon. We don’t know what to do.”
“Have you asked Molly?” I asked.
Jacki nodded. “She said to save the tables for the reservations.”
“Alright,” I said. “Calm down. I’ll help you figure this out.”
It seemed strange that I was essentially taking over aspects like this when it was supposed to be Molly manning the ship. Moments of chaos like this were becoming more common, and I was always the one playing catch-up.
I didn’t know how long we’d been working nonstop, but it felt like we’d been there for months. When there was finally a break in the action, I went for a drink and leaned back against the counter. I needed a bit of a break after all of that chaos.
I was sipping my drink and occasionally glancing over to one of my tables to make sure they were doing alright when the door opened, and Deacon came in. My heart skipped a bit, and I smiled at him.
“Hey,” he said.
“Hey. What are you up to today?”
“Just grabbing some lunch. I thought I would swing by and say hello.”
“Hello,” I said with a smile. I blushed again and glanced away.
“Actually, Rebecca, there’s something else I wanted to ask you,” he said.
“What’s that?”
“Will you come to dinner with me?”.
9
DEACON
I knew the inherent idiocy in what I was doing and still did it anyway. But why not? Why not take a shot and see if I could recreate what I had created in my mind?
If nothing else, I’d get one meal out of it, one where I could stare at her from across a table rather than across the bar and could see Rebecca blush from up close. If I was lucky, she’d wear a shirt like the one she wore on her date, and I would see how far down her chest that blush went. I could clearly imagine the rest. I had before already.
When I asked her, her eyes went wide, and her mouth opened slightly. It had been a while since I felt like I was being suave or cool with a woman. I had mostly been alone since the accident and had been only out on one or two dates with any given person before that. The military was my entire life as soon as I joined, and I just didn’t have time to date.
But here I was, channeling what was left of high school confidence, born of nothing other than testosterone and chutzpah as my grandpa called it. I took the chance, asked her out, and before I knew it, was leaning in for a kiss. She didn’t move, either because she was inviting me to continue or out of shock, and I pressed my lips to her soft cheek.