I shivered at the way he said “little doll”, at the tone and inflection of his voice. It covered me like a hot balm, like heated honey.
“There’s a lot of you.” I felt my eyes widen as those words spilled from me before I could stop them. Oh God, the humiliation. My face heated unbearably but I couldn’t look away even though I desperately wanted to. I saw the corner of his mouth twitch as if he found it amusing.
He tucked his cell back in the inner pocket of his jacket and rested fully against the leather seat, turning his head to look at me. Nikolai still had that hooded cast to his eyes, his black lashes too thick and his eyes too blue to be on a man as masculine as him.
A man should not be that attractive, shouldn’t look that good when he wasn’t even trying. He instantly made my body warm and soft and so very wet.
And all it took was a pointed look at me.
His gaze held mine for long moments and then I saw him start to lean forward. He was coming closer, crowding me in the best possible way. When his gaze dipped down to my mouth my breath caught and my lips parted on their own. He was going to kiss me. I wanted him to kiss me. Right here in the back of this Mercedes. Right here where the driver could see it all.
And I wouldn’t stop him.
But before he could give me what I wanted the car was slowing, his smile was growing, and he was leaning further away from me.
I blinked back rapidly and watched as he smoothed his hands down his leather jacket. He didn’t wear the normal attire I’d seen the men in my life wear, the men who worked for my father. My father.
They all wore tailor made suits, expensive cuts of cloth that hid the monster beneath the material. But not Nikolai. Aside from the tuxedo on our wedding day, I’d only seen Nikolai in dark jeans, an equally dark shirt, and that black leather jacket molded over his hard, very male body.
The car coming to a stop jarred me out of my clear sexual appraisal of Nikolai and I looked out the passenger side window, feeling confusion fill me as I stared at what was right outside. My mother and father’s home.
“You took me to my parents’ house?” My heart was thundering as the reality of that settled in, as the fear of the why filled me until it spilled over. Was he bringing me back here because he didn’t want me? Oh God, had I done something wrong?
“Nikolai?” His name was a soft croak from me. I looked at him and heard the panic in my voice, knew it covered my face. All I could think about was what did I do wrong? What did I do wrong? Oh God… what did I do wrong?
At first his expression was stoic but then the dark slashes of his eyebrows came down slightly in a frown.
“I did something wrong? You’re giving me back to my father?” I hated–hated–that I sounded so weak right now, but God it was terrifying to think of what my father would do if Nikolai told him he didn’t want the marriage to last. That he didn’t want me.
I didn’t realize my hands were shaking until Nikolai placed his much larger, heavier one on top of mine. Instantly I calmed, stilled, but I could still hear the racing of my heart in my ears, feel it almost bursting from my chest.
Nikolai’s jaw was clenched tight as he looked out the window behind me. I could see the pulse beating beneath his ear frantically, felt his fingers tighten around my hands that were still on my lap.
“I thought you’d want to say goodbye to your brother and sister, your mother even.” He turned those bright blue eyes back on me. “It’s your father you’re so afraid of.” It wasn't said like a question because he knew. He knew. He had to. The Bratva couldn’t be that different from the Cosa Nostra. Their traditions, the rigidity, the severity of how the men were had to be similar. The same.
The question took me off guard for a moment and I jerked, as if electrocuted, or maybe slapped. I didn’t have time to respond because Nikolai’s door was opening, the driver holding onto the edge.
“Sir,” the driver said but when Nikolai didn’t move or speak, the driver cleared his throat. “Would you like some extra time? Privacy?”
Nikolai didn’t respond, just kept staring at me, kept his hand on mine, his fingers tightening ever-so-slightly with each passing second.
And then the weight of his palm was gone, his big body uncoiling from the car as he stood and stepped out. His door slammed shut and I closed my eyes and exhaled, feeling the heavy silence all around me.
It only lasted a moment before my door was being opened and my husband held his hand out for me. It was automatic as I slipped my palm against his, allowing him to help me out. I smoothed my free hand down my tunic then my leggings, before gripping the soft material of my shirt and letting Nikolai lead me up the steps to the front door.
It swung open as if automatically sensing us and Beatrice, one of the servants, stood on the other side with her hands clasped behind her back and her head bowed.
“Mr. and Mrs. Petrov,” she said respectfully as we neared. “Master Bianchi wasn’t expecting you.”
“I know,” Nikolai growled and tightened his hand on mine. “I assumed his own daughter wouldn’t need to call ahead to visit her family.” He strode inside without waiting for a response, never letting go of my hand.
We entered my childhood home and the front door shut behind us softly. We only stood there for a few seconds before I heard a rhythmic pounding sound coming closer and closer. And then I saw Claudia come barreling down the stairs, her grin wide, her dark hair fluttering behind her as she raced forward.
I couldn’t help but laugh as she cleared the stairs and slammed into me, giving me a full body hug, one that felt far too good for the short time I’d been gone. She tightened her arms around me and I did the same, feeling my eyes prickling with tears of what, sadness? Happiness? The loss of the only thing I’d never known?
“I missed you.” Claudia’s voice was muffled against my shirt and jacket.
I squeezed her back. “I've only been gone for a day,” I said with a little laugh in my voice, trying to make things light. She tightened her arms around me once more and I laughed genuinely this time, but there was an ache in my heart.