8
Shayne
Felicity’s body rests in the back of the SUV, the smell singeing my nose just as it has done for the past four days, forcing me to relive every fucked-up little moment from my time down in Giovanni’s basement. Roman couldn’t bear to leave her behind, and I don’t blame him. If I could have taken her with me when I first escaped, I would have. I would have done anything to try and make what happened down there okay.
Roman killed me today. Seeing the intense agony in his eyes was the hardest thing I’ve ever endured. I’ve never experienced someone else’s raw grief like that, and being the one who had to break the news, the one who could have saved her, and the one who’s personally responsible for letting their father take off with his newborn son … yeah, the weight I thought had lifted off my shoulder has crashed back over me with extra bricks added to the load.
He’ll never forgive me for letting her die like that, and he sure as fuck won’t forgive me for letting his son be taken. I was weak in those cells. I was desperate and I let him down. I let them all down.
Roman sits up front with Marcus while Levi sits in the back with me, his arm curled tightly around my body as my head rests against his big shoulder. Doe is on my other side, curled up in a ball as she rests quietly, her big head draped across my lap. The SUV is huge, but the backseat simply isn’t enough space for Levi and me plus a ginormous wolf. She would have been more comfortable in the back, but with Felicity taking up residence in there, we didn’t want to risk it.
My fingers thread into the fur on top of Doe’s head and she gently stirs beneath me only to make a show of getting comfortable, silently pleading for me to scratch her head. My fingers move in and out in a gentle massage behind her ears, and a low groan travels through her chest. Pain tears at me knowing the grief she must be feeling at not having her brother here with us. The two of them were like peas in a pod, always together, causing havoc over the castle and doing everything in their power to make my life a living hell. It’s as though they had some kind of competition between themselves to see who could get on my nerves the quickest, though Dill won that competition every single time. He had a gift for it, but there was no mistaking the kindness in his jet-black eyes.
I’ve been avoiding the question, not ready to hear all the gruesome details about Dill’s downfall, but I owe it to him to hear it. He protected me with his life out there in the woods. The least I can do is hear about his final moments and pay him the respect he’s owed. “Dill?” I question, my tone low and wavering. “What … how did he …”
A heavy sigh pulls from deep within me, and I let the rest of my question fade away, the words too hard to get out. Sensing Levi’s gaze, I lift my head off his shoulder and meet his haunted stare. “He’s okay,” he murmurs.
My brows furrow and I glance back down at Doe. “He’s okay?” I question, repeating his words back to him as I shake my head. “No. He was shot. I heard him howling. He couldn’t have lived through that.”
Marcus grunts from the front seat and glances back at me, his lips curved into an amused grin. “You really think Dill was going to let a single bullet take him down? That big bastard would have chewed that fucker up and spat it back out the other end. He’s a warrior, Shayne. Just like you.”
My heart flutters, its pace kicking up a gear as a fresh new hope surges through my veins. “He’s okay?” I question again. “I figured that because he wasn’t here …”
Levi’s hand falls to my thigh, gently squeezing and forcing my gaze back to his. “He’s alright,” he murmurs. “My father is a lousy shot. The bullet tore through his midsection and fucked with some of his internal organs, but we got him to the animal clinic just in time. He’s at home recovering, and trust me when I tell you, he’s pissed that he didn’t get to come. It would have been too much strain on his body.”
Relief overwhelms my system, and hot tears well in my eyes as the raging grief I’ve held down for the incredible wolf begins washing away. “I thought we’d lost him,” I whisper, my voice breaking as losing Dill, on top of everything else, was just the bullshit cherry on top of this shitstorm cake.
“Don’t get me wrong,” Levi says. “Dill isn’t completely out of the woods yet. He had a big surgery to repair the internal damage. He’s on all sorts of pain medication and probably won’t be able to take a proper dump for a while. He’s a grouchy asshole, but he’ll pull through. He always does.”
My fingers knot tighter into Doe’s fur, and I find myself leaning over her, curling my other arm around her strong body and holding her tight. “Did you hear that?” I whisper, my tone hitching up with hope while feeling like an idiot for talking to the wolf as though she can understand my every word. “Dill is going to be okay.”
Doe raises her head just enough to rub her face past mine, and a wave of warmth washes through me at her understanding and affection. She doesn’t linger or even meet my eye before dropping back into my lap and putting an abrupt end to our short conversation. But what can I say? Doe is a woman of few words, and I shouldn’t expect anything else.
Letting out a sigh, I straighten in my seat and let my head fall back, allowing my eyes to flutter closed. It’s been a hellish few days, and I should really use these next few hours to get some sleep, but the moment my eyelids close and block out the car around me, the haunting images of delivering Roman’s baby boy materialize in my mind.
My eyes spring open as the slightest gasp escapes me. I can’t help but glance up only to find Roman’s lethal stare meeting mine through the rearview mirror. I immediately look away, unable to handle the weight of his disapproval.
“What’s wrong?” Levi questions, glancing down at me through narrowed eyes.
Pain rests heavily in my chest as I stare out the side window, watching the endless expanse of desert. My shoulders droop and helplessness comes over me. “Can’t sleep,” I tell him. “Every time I close my eyes, I see it. It’s like a fucked-up movie playing on repeat in my head and I can’t make it stop.”
I see him nodding out of my peripheral as he reaches out and takes my hand in his. “Would it help to know that at some point, each of us have been held captive?” he questions. “You’re not alone in this, Shayne. Each of those terrible things you witnessed or had to do, we’ve done them too. We know how it feels, what you’re going through, and what it’s like fearing that you might never live to see another sunrise.”
My head whips toward him before quickly glancing into the front seats. Neither Marcus or Roman turn back, but I sense them listening. “You’ve been taken?”
Levi nods and I feel him holding onto my hand just a little bit tighter. “I was sixteen. I’d just slaughtered the nephew of one of the world’s richest men and he didn’t appreciate it much.”
“No shit,” I mutter, turning my gaze toward the front seat to find Marcus twisting in his seat to watch me without having to strain his neck. “What about you?”
“Twenty-two,” he tells me, his lips twisting into an amused smirk. “Fucked the wrong man’s wife.”
A smile pulls at the corners of my mouth and something lightens in my chest, as though whatever is keeping me bound so tight is starting to fray and ease. “Why am I not surprised?”
Marcus’ dark, obsidian eyes glisten with laughter. “It wasn’t the best experience of my life, and if she wasn’t so good in bed, I would have been really fucking pissed.”
“I bet you never saw her again.”
Marcus laughs as the dusty desert track slowly turns into an old, broken-down road that looks as though it hasn’t been tended to in years. “On the contrary,” he tells me. “Just out of spite of that old fucker, I screwed her brains out for another three months. I would have kept going, but the asshole found the wrong end of some loser’s gun. It wasn’t much fun after that.”