I finished the last two gulps of beer in the bottle I had been holding. Swallowing I nodded my head.
“I am. I’ll talk to Natasha tonight. I think there are a few things she needs to know. And then…”
“And then what?”
“And then I’ll talk with my brother.”
“Tell me you aren’t going to do it alone. I don’t trust him, Marty. I never have.”
I didn’t say anything. Just then, the fishing rod I had been holding loosely in my lap was almost jerked clear into the water.
“Whoa! Got a bite!”
Marty tossed over his sandwich and dove for the net behind me.
“It’s a big one!” I hollered.
“It’s going to put up a fight, Marty! Just get it closer!”
He leaned over the boat waiting to catch a glimpse of the big beast that was putting up such a fight. Sweat trickled down my forehead and my heart was pounding. There was never such an exciting feeling as seeing your patience pay off in a big way.
By the end of the struggle, I had won. Marty scooped up a trout the size of Black & Decker tool box. We gutted it, packed it in ice and that night enjoyed cooking it over the fire pit on the back patio at home. We drank a couple more beers, talked about everything and anything other than my brother. But I think we both felt the obtrusiveness of Joshua’s presence.
Even when he wasn’t physically there, his spirit lingered and cast shadows where there should be light. Like those horror stories on television about maniacal spirits and invisible evils that terrorize people when they are at their most vulnerable, my brother could control and manipulate people without even being there.
No matter what Natasha’s decision, my brother had to be dealt with. I had a feeling it might cause me to lose her forever. This kind of drama would be overwhelming for any normal person to handle. It was worse than any soap opera I could think of.
As Ray and I finished eating our feat of trout without speaking, I made my plans. I had no idea what my brother was capable of. I had no idea what he had been doing with himself when he wasn’t at work. Maybe it was naïve to think he was just living the bachelor lifestyle. I thought it might be bad, a little sadistic, but I never thought I’d be related to a beast that thrived so much on pain of others.
Physical wounds heal over time. But my brother wasn’t happy with that. If he didn’t get his way he wanted to see permanent damage. Permanent damage done to me and Natasha.
NATASHA
As I sat at the back of the restaurant I couldn't help but get a weird sense of déjà vu. It was like I was being fired all over again even though I sat in front of Dolores Morris when she delivered the unemployment death blow over six months ago. My gut wanted to blame her for all my troubles right now. If she hadn't fired me I wouldn't have went to that dump of a bar and I never would have met Joshua Hewitt.
There was a booth at the back of the diner that I had slinked into virtually unnoticed by everyone, including the waitress who had let my coffee cup run not just cold but dry without a refill. I had learned not to attract attention to myself, even for something as simple as a cup of coffee. It’s amazing what a person can adapt to under strenuous circumstances. I didn’t yell for cabs. I didn’t sit by windows anymore. I didn’t leave my curtains open. I didn’t smile at strangers or even make eye contact. I wanted to be invisible because every time I thought I was safe, or alone I would see him. Joshua would be outside my apartment or parked outside of work or loitering in a doorway across from a restaurant, like he might be at this very moment. I watched the door and waited for Diamond. She had promised to meet me here with a small bag of things from my apartment. I couldn't go there. Joshua was probably waiting there.
So, I sat in the clothes I was wearing when I ran from my apartment cutting through the alley. My blond hair was tucked up into a baseball cap. I wore a sweatshirt that made me look like I was built like a United States Post Office mailbox and baggy, flannel pajama bottoms covered my legs. I had gym shoes on but no socks.
Still, no one paid much attention to me. I was the only one who felt uncomfortable wearing what I could sleep in out on the street in broad daylight. But I was hiding. I had to look like anyone but myself because I wasn't sure where Joshua was. Truthfully, I didn't think he was at this restaurant, slipping hundred dollar bills into the busboys hands if they would pretend he wasn't there and allow him to spy on me from the kitchen or lurk near the ladies room waiting for me to go pee.
That was what was the worst of all this. I couldn't do something as simple as go pee. I couldn't just go to my apartment and take a shower and sleep the night. No. Joshua Hewitt had decided that I shouldn't be allowed those things because I told him over four months ago I didn't want to see him anymore.
In hind sight I am guessing he would have been okay with that had I not added that it was his brother who I loved. What was I thinking? I'll tell you what I was thinking. I was thinking that honesty was the best policy. I was thinking the truth would set me free. I certainly wasn't thinking that telling the truth would get me stalked, threatened and fearful for my own life that is for darn sure.
While I waited for Diamond I recalled the events of that morning four months ago as if they just happened. It wasn't like I was whispering words of love and commitment to Joshua. I was honest with him from the beginning making no promises. In fact, he never promised me anything either. There was no talk about kids or a big wedding or honeymooning or any of that stuff that goes with that forever kind of love. Not from Joshua. Not a word of it. But the words he did say I was certain he meant. As I thought of them I couldn't help the goose bumps that ran up my arms, like someone had walked over my grave.
"We need to talk?" Joshua had repeated my words as we sat down at the coffee shop not far from work. It was just your average coffee shop with lots of windows and a couple of tables for two with a long counter and annoying employees who practiced their improvisational skills for their theater 101 class as they made your coffee.
"I don't think I like the sound of that." he said, pulling my chair out for me to sit and then sitting down across from me, leaning more than halfway across the little table between us.
"I'm sorry, Joshua. You've been so good to me and I've enjoyed our time together but I don't see it going anywhere." I kept my voice low and soft. I didn't want to hurt him but there were things that I noticed starting to happen between us that I didn't like. He always picked what we were going to do. He told me what to wear and if he didn't like what I had put on out of my own closet he'd take me to a store and drop a couple hundred on a new outfit that I didn't want or need or even like.
Sure, it sounds like fun to be bought things like this. The price tags were never looked at by anyone but me and all I kept seeing wasn't the dress or the shoes but the shackles that they all felt like. It isn't like the movies. Nothing comes for free.
"This certainly is out of the blue."
"No it isn't." I said as kindly as I could, reaching out to touch his hand. "We don't really talk when we are together. Our hobbies and interests are at totally opposite ends of the spectrum and I just have more in common with Mart..."