I don’t know how he did it, but he turned away and walked back to the hangar. I got into a sitting position. I looked after him and I couldn’t believe that he had the fortitude to step away from a sure thing. It was then that I knew that I was in trouble. This was not the same man that those girls had sent me after. I had gotten caught in a trap of my own making. I had no idea what love felt like, but I didn’t want to be away from him. I could only think about the next time that I would see him. I was hurting bad and I couldn’t do what I normally did. I wanted to, but I felt that sleeping with another would be cheating.
I got up and this time I tried to kiss him and he was the one to put his hands out to prevent me from doing so. “I need some time to think. Don’t take this the wrong way, but you are the devil’s spawn.” He got into his car and he drove away with me standing there while he looked at me in the side view mirror. This wasn’t a position that I was accustomed to. If I wasn’t careful, I was going to commit the cardinal sin of falling for one of my subjects.
PART 2: BETRAYAL OF THE HEART
Gillian West was a woman that knew how to play with a man’s feelings like a cat does with a mouse. She was confident in her abilities and had translated that talent into a lucrative career in sales. Being approached by three women to take down a suave and sophisticated man with no scruples was going to be her crowning achievement. She thought that she had all the answers, but Marshall had a way to change the questions. This was supposed to be an easy job, but being close to Marshall made her realize that she had been missing out on what love really was. She didn’t want to admit it and now she was in the inevitable task of trying to keep your feelings in check and doing what she was required to do by her clients. Can she really hurt him this way, or will she fall on her sword looking for redemption?
I’d given my word to give Marshall a dose of his own medicine, but now I was rethinking my situation. I thought of the way that we had left things a few days ago and I still couldn’t believe that he walked away without doing anything. I underplayed that significance with the girls. I told them that it was the other way around and that I wanted him to want me so badly that he wouldn’t be able to stand it any longer.
“I don’t know where you’re at, but you’re certainly not here with me. I’m sure that you have a lot on your plate, but don’t you think that for just this once that you can give me your undivided attention?” My best friend Jeremy was the one that gave me the insight into the male mind. I was sure that he was regretting it right about now. He was the one that helped me to learn how to navigate those choppy waters.
“I don’t know what has gotten into me. You came here looking for some advice and I haven’t even listened to what you have to say.” I wasn’t sure if I should tell him the truth, but he was the only one that I had never lied to in my life. I knew that he had a crush on me, but he really wasn’t my type. He had that intellectual look and I was looking for something more masculine with the very idea of getting them out of their clothes to be a presentation in itself.
“I thought that we were friends. I tell you that my girlfriend is seeing an ex-boyfriend that she hasn’t even thought about since high school and you don’t even say anything.” He was wearing his heart on his sleeve and I’d done nothing to encourage him or give him any kind of direction
He showed up quite unexpectedly. Seeing him with that downtrodden expression was a dead giveaway that things weren’t going exactly as planned with Stephanie. I thought that they were a mismatch. She was this gorgeous fashion runway model that flew around the globe jet setting with the rich and famous on the red carpet. He was a fairly good-looking guy, maybe 140 pounds, 5’7 and I had to admit that his eyes were the dictionary meaning of the windows to the soul.
“You know as well as I do that Stephanie can do better than you. I don’t mean that to be a slight against your manhood. I’m just saying that your jealousy has manifested into a paranoia that is going to get old quick for Stephanie. Don’t you think that she has had men fawning over her most of her life? She thought that you were different, less intimidated by her good looks and fame and here you are acting like a little bitch.” The one thing that we could count on from each other was that we would always shoot from the hip.
We were sitting in my kitchen and I was touching my lips wondering how I was going to think about the job. I had told the girls that I was going to let him stew for a few days, but that was not entirely true. I needed that time to give myself breathing room. I could barely sleep and I woke in a cold sweat with my hands running down over my body. I had visions of him dancing in front of me and fantasies so vivid that they almost felt lik
e they were alive.
“The one thing that I don’t need you to tell me is that she can do better. I know that I’m just being stupid, but I can’t help to feel that I’m losing her. I’m just lucky that I don’t speak about this in front of her. She has already told me that it was refreshing that I was secure about myself.” He did put on a good façade, but underneath, he was still that insecure little boy that I had taken a liking to in high school.
“I implore you not to do anything that is going to ruin this. I just got you to stop sniffing around my door and I really don’t want to continue to metaphorically slap you with a newspaper like a scalded dog. It’s so much better that you are in a committed relationship.” I had my cup of coffee in both hands and I could see Marshall’s reflection in the swirl of the creamer that I had used to make it more palatable.
“I hated those days. We would go shopping and you would put on this display in frilly little things. I would pine like a lovesick teenager.” He had on his glasses making him look like Clark Kent, but there was really no superman underneath the exterior. I did notice since he had gotten with Stephanie that he was filling out.
“Stephanie won’t leave you and you have nothing to worry about. The only reason why you came over here is for me to pat you on the back and tell you that everything’s going to be OK.” I reached over and did that very thing. I could see the distaste in his eyes and it almost made me burst out laughing.
My fluffy white robe was wide open and the only thing that I was wearing was a sheer negligee that really didn’t leave much to the imagination. I was quite impressed that he wasn’t ogling me like a piece of meat. He had more on his mind than seeing me in my unmentionables. It was a bit of a slap in the face. I could always count on him to show me that my beauty had not waned and that my sexuality was still as hot as ever. It was kinda nice to have him stroking my ego, even though he was never going to get any further than watching me.
“I’m really glad that you’re here for me. I had no place to go. I couldn’t stay in that mansion all alone knowing that she was spending time with her ex-boyfriend. I made it sound like I was perfectly fine and that she didn’t have to worry about me going off half-cocked.” I needed somebody to ground me and make me realize how lucky I am.” I was slightly stunned by what I didn’t recognize upon him entering into my home. He was making an effort to be that pretty package for Stephanie. His body was becoming something that I might take an interest in.
She was that statuesque blonde with the kind of curves that had guys wanting to walk over hot coals to be with her. I knew the day that she took a shine to Jeremy that there had to be something wrong with her. It finally dawned on me that she saw him as the genuine article without being fake or trying desperately to get into her pants.
“I’m glad that you’re feeling better. You’re not the only one that has to deal with their love life. I haven’t been in this position in a long time. I don’t even want to mention his name and I promised myself that his memory would be expunged. All photographs have been destroyed and yet I find myself repeating old habits. I thought that part of me was dead, completely numb and that no man could ever break through the wall that I built.” One good turn deserved another. If he was going to cry in his beer for Stephanie, then I had every right to see how he felt about what was going on with me.
“I know that you’re only dangling the bait because you want me to take it. I’ll play along; even though I think that you’re being a bit more dramatic than necessary. Tell me what’s going on that has you in your own little world.” Since he had broached the topic, I figured that it was best to let the chips fall where they may.
“I’m not over exaggerating anything. I was hired to do a job. There is a secret that I have been hiding from you.” I turned to my laptop on the counter. I brought up the anonymous blog with the indiscriminate photos that I had taken of men in various states of undress. They did not show them in a good light unless you were looking for a cheap thrill at their expense. The captions were quite scalding. “I write this blog and my reputation for shaming men have got me in over my head.”
Jeremy was staring at the screen, pushing his glasses down, so that he could make out every single disgusting act that was being perpetrated. His eyes darted from me and then back to the screen again like he couldn’t quite believe that I was the woman responsible for destroying marriages.
“I don’t even want to begin to tell you how wrong this is. Butting into other people’s business will never end well. With that being said, I can see that something is bothering you and I would really like you to tell me what it is.” He was the most compassionate and caring man that I had ever met. I thought that he was above reproach and yet I knew that he was still a man and capable of being seduced by the opposite sex.
“I usually go after those that are married or involved, but this one is different. He’s none of those things, but he sleeps with just about anybody. He doesn’t care if they are married, but now I have been tasked to make him fall in love with me. Unfortunately, it backfired and I have feelings for him. I thought that I could overcome that obstacle by sleeping with him, but he…he…denied me.” Jeremy’s mouth was wide open in shock.
“You have to stop seeing this man. I’m not telling you anything that you don’t already know yourself. He has turned you into the very woman that you swore that you would never be again. I can only give you sound advice and it’s up to you to take it. I know that this is short and sweet, but I really do need to get to work. My boss is on a tirade and even though I do most of the work, he expects me to bend over backward to please him and the board of directors. Do yourself a favor, get some distance, find some perspective and give this man his walking papers. You’ve already said that you don’t do this for the money, so what exactly is stopping you from kicking him to the curb?” He didn’t give me a chance to answer and grabbed his brown suede coat. He put it on and went to the door.
I didn’t like the way that he spoke to me harshly and that only made me want him to sweat a little. I purposely bent over at the sink, my breasts announcing their presence and then I had what most would call a wardrobe malfunction.
His eyes bugged out of his skull as my breasts popped clear of the negligee. He turned and left almost tripping over his own feet and tongue. It made me smile to think that I still had that power to make a man feel like a little boy all over again.
I figured that I would take some of what Jeremy said and take it to heart. I did need to break free of the monotony of thinking about him every second of the day. He hadn’t tried to call me and I was not going to be the one to reach out first. I took myself shopping, doing some window browsing and seeing some interesting things that caught my eye.
I stopped on the sidewalk for a moment. I felt like somebody was watching me. I took off my sunglasses very slowly and turned quickly to catch who it was that was playing spy. I didn’t see anybody that was making a spectacle of themselves or standing out from the crowd. It really did feel like somebody was walking over my grave and the little hairs on the back of my neck were standing on end.