“Don’t worry about it, babe. I’ll find something else,” he said with a smile and leaned towards her. Belle didn’t move. She was fuming. She was doubly sure now that he hadn’t even gone for the interview. Why was he jeopardizing his career? Why did he assume that she could just provide for them both on her internship money? She didn’t even have the money to buy a coffee on her way to work. She was broke and miserable and feeling unloved and he just didn’t care.
Without saying anything, Jesse leaned towards her and tried to kiss her lips. Belle moved her face away. She felt nothing when he was close. No spark. No electricity. No attraction. And it was beginning to scare her.
“Hey,” Jesse whispered, a smile forming on his face. He kissed her cheek and then Belle sensed his hand reaching for her breasts.
Belle moved away from him with a jerk.
“What’s wrong babe? Isn’t this what you want?” Jesse asked and stepped towards her again. Belle froze as she stared at him. Jesse was beginning to disgust her. She felt like she was cheating on Devon now. Even though she was never going to see him again.
Jesse stroked her cheeks with his hands and kissed her forehead. Then the bridge of her nose and finally her lips. The kiss did nothing for her, except make her hate him a little more.
“Are you worried that I don’t know what I’m doing? Don’t worry babe, I’ve slept with girls before,” he said, looking at her with enthusiastic eyes.
Belle pushed him away and glared at him.
“You said you wanted to wait!” she screeched, now losing all control. Jesse looked surprised as he looked at her, trying to develop a look of innocence on his face.
“Yeah. I wanted to wait with you, babe. I think all those girls I slept with are sluts. I don’t want you to become like one of them,” he said and Belle’s mouth fell open.
“So why do you want to do it now?” she asked and Jesse took in a deep breath, like he was trying to explain something to a little child.
“Because I love you, babe. Because I want to do this with you. Because I know we’ll be together forever,” he replied and Belle could do nothing but stare at him in shock. Hearing those words coming from him made her sick to her stomach. She wanted to throw something at him. Punch the wall if she had to. Scream and make a run for it. Instead, she was frozen to the spot and felt like she couldn’t move a muscle. The guy she thought would make the perfect boyfriend in college had turned out to be her worst nightmare and she wasn’t sure how long she could go on like this.
Devon
Devon was at his office, working late again and the next time he raised his head to look at the time, it was already nine. He pushed his file away and shut down his computer and took in a deep breath. The lunch with Alisha had affected him in a big way.
It had been a week since he last saw Belle, and now he was beginning to recognize the heartache and loneliness settling in again. He didn’t want to arouse suspicion and hence hadn’t asked Susan or Jasmine how she was doing. He could only hope that she was happy at the Brooklyn office and that her life with her boyfriend was going well. He only wanted the best for her. He didn’t want to disrupt her peace of mind.
Alisha was probably right, he figured, to assume that he was capable of actual feelings. Even though he didn’t want to discuss those feelings with anybody else, he knew that they existed. Belle had stirred them in him and he felt protective and possessive towards her. Which was why it was wise to send her away before anything else happened.
The soft ping of the elevator outside snapped him out of his thoughts. His heart began to race because he couldn’t help but wonder if it was Belle again. A far fetched daydream, but he couldn’t help his mind from wandering.
There was a sharp knock on the door and instead of saying anything, Devon stood up and walked over to it. He took in a deep breath, trying to calm his mind, and opened the door. Belle was standing on the other side. Her face looked pale, her eyes were widened and by the looks of it, she had been running again.
“Belle!” he said her name aloud and she fell into his arms immediately.
“I’m sorry, I had to come and see you,” she said and he stroked her head. She was still in her formal office clothes and her hair was braided elaborately in that fishtail plait that he remembered. She was in a slim gray dress with a wide black belt at her waist. She looked professional and beautiful.
When she finally pulled away from him, she took a step back.
“Come in,” he said in a quiet voice and he walked back towards his desk. She shut the door behind her and he could hear his heart thumping out of his chest. It was exciting to see her again. He knew very well what the possibility of her being there could lead to. He wanted to touch her again, take her into his arms…but it was still inappropriate.
“I had to come, because I had nowhere else to go,” Belle was saying and he noticed that she looked nervous. She had clasped her hands together and was pressing her fingers tightly. Devon leaned against his desk as he looked at her.
“My door is always open,” he said and she looked up at him sharply. Her brown eyes were large and looked bloodshot. She could have been crying, he thought and immediately, he had the urge to take her in his arms again.
“I know you didn’t want to see me again. You wanted us to keep our distance. But I have nobody else in New York,” she continued and Devon shook his head. Her breasts were heaving, her lips looked as pouty and luscious as usual; and even though she seemed distraught, Devon couldn’t help but recall the moment when he first saw her naked.
“Don’t worry about it, tell me what’s going on,” he said in a soft voice. Their eyes met again and Belle looked like she was beginning to relax a little.
“You know how I told you that my boyfriend said he doesn’t want to have sex right now, that he wants to wait. He just told me that he’s had sex before. With other girls before me and he didn’t want to sleep with me because he thinks they are all sluts,” the words came tumbling out of her and Devon couldn’t help but go closer to her. He wanted to take her into his arms, hug her close to his chest…but he was still afraid of touching her.
“Belle, that is a horrible thing to say and do. I don’t know what to say to you, but it’s not unnatural that you’re upset,” he said, finding himself at a loss for words.
“I don’t know if I want to be with a guy like that. Who thinks like that. Who thinks sex is dirty,” she said and Devon shook his head.
“I know, I’m glad you came here,” he said and Belle rushed into his arms again.