“I am.” She looked over at him, and shrugged her shoulders. “I-I’ve made a decision.”
“What sort of decision?” He wanted to rein the horse in, but he was too afraid to do anything except remain upright.
“When we talked about how ugly war is, we were right. Battles are terrible things. I look at the cost sometimes and I wonder...was it worth it? I suppose I’ll never know.” She looked thoughtfully out at the horizon, and he thought she was blushing. “But I do know. When I set out to find you, and the rest of them, anyone who had ‘betrayed’ us. That was revenge. I was living in the past, and the truth was that I didn’t understand what could make someone do this. You...you turned when you offered a man mercy.”
“Treason,” Solomon said softly.
“Is it?” She looked over at him. “I ride alone often, and I have a great deal of time to think. It’s a funny thing, aiding and abetting the enemy, when the enemy is only your enemy because you insist he’s not your enemy and he insists he is.” She saw Solomon’s frown. “What I mean is, we fought the Confederacy because they didn’t want to be part of the Union anymore, and they told them they were with us, and then we fought them. And yes, they took up arms for their cause, but you didn’t give them the means to kill hundreds. You didn’t betray your regiment. You offered a man mercy, and you fought at their side for a cause they desperately believed in. How can I call that treason and nothing else?”
“I don’t think you’re cut out to be a spy.” He said it with a smile, for her face was shining with belief and he could not have been harsh.
She laughed again, a bit sadly. “Neither do I, if truth be told.”
“You’re sure...”
“Solomon, it was not because I fell in love with you.”
He felt his heart turn over at her words, and could not resist a smile. She smiled back at him.
“What happened here gave a face to doubts I had held for a long time.”
“Do you doubt that you joined up for good reasons?”
“Not at all,” she said at once. “There were those who betrayed people to terrible deaths because they wanted money or power, and then there were those who followed their consciences.”
“It was misguided.”
“And yet you brought Jasper back with you. That man, Knox, showed mercy. Your sister had a happier life for what you did. I...it just isn’t as simple as I thought, Solomon. That’s all.”
“Will they let me go?” Solomon asked bitterly.
“They sent me to find any traitors I could. When I found you...I do not think I found a traitor. As far as they’re concerned, I never found anyone. I think—” She broke off, her eyes on the sky. “I think it might be time to tell them the truth about who I am.”
“They could put you in jail for indecency!” Solomon whispered, and she laughed.
“I know far, far too much for them to try to hurt me. I think they’ll just let me go. But I meant what I said about living in the past, about living for revenge. It’s time the country stopped tea
ring itself to pieces, and started healing.”
“Will you stay with us at Dalton Farm for a time?” Solomon asked impulsively, and she looked over with her eyes shining.
“Yes. Of course I will. I want to meet Clara, and your mother. Cecelia told me she’s the timid one. I can hardly imagine the others!”
“She was the timid one,” Solomon said, laughing. “But Cecelia has come into her own. She grew up when I wasn’t looking.”
“You were looking into the past too,” Violet told him simply.
“I suppose I was.” He reached out to take her hand and drew her closer, their legs brushing together, their fingers intertwined. “Can I confess something?”
She swallowed. Nodded. Their touch was electric, the simple touch of skin on skin more potent than anything he could remember; he felt drunk.
“Before I left, a few days ago...” Solomon’s voice was low and husky. “I hated to see Clara and Jasper together. They’re so happy, Violet. When they look at one another, it’s like there’s no one else in the whole world. When I saw that, I thought I could never feel the same. How would I ever find someone to love that way? It seemed so lucky, as well—to meet someone in a field, and fall in love at once. I could hardly believe it. And then...”
“And then?” she prompted him. She caught her breath.
“And then you knocked me out of the way of a bullet, and everything in my life changed in one moment.”
“Can I confess something as well?” It was the closest to coquettish he had ever seen her, a blush rising in her cheeks. She looked up at him through her lashes, and she bit her lip when he drew her aside, into the shadow of a tree.