“Hey,” Ruxs said, pushing Green out the way to get to Curtis new entertainment system. “Is that the new Playstation 4?”
“Yep.” Curtis grinned slyly, still jumping on his queen-sized bed. “I got Call of Duty Warfare and GTA5. Furi bought it for me,” Curtis boasted.
“Let’s put this one downstairs in the entertainment room,” Ruxs said, eyeing the game system enviously.
“Um. Let me think about that,” Curtis said sarcastically. First he did a back flip on the bed, then looked at Ruxs. “Nope.”
Ruxs reached over, grabbed Curtis’ feet and yanked, making him crash down to the plush mattress, cracking up in a fit of laughter. “You little spoiled twerp.” Ruxs chased Curtis around his room trying to take the game controller.
Oh boy. Green’s smile faded as he watched Curtis wrestle the new controller from his other dad. He had to get this under control. He wanted Curtis to be happy and comfortable in his new home, but he also needed him to grieve properly. He had his mom’s funeral in two days; he didn’t want Curtis avoiding his feelings with video games, shiny new electronics, and a considerable amount of extra money in his bank account. Thanks to Day.
“Curtis you want to talk for a little while, son?” Curtis stopped laughing and came over to him.
“What’s wrong?” he asked nervously.
“Nothing’s wrong.” Green turned to face him. “I just thought maybe you’d want to talk you know… about your mom. We haven’t had the chance to yet.”
Ruxs came and stood beside him. “I’m sorry, buddy. Your dad’s right, you can talk to us, it’ll be good for you.”
Green smiled the way Ruxs worded that. He didn’t think he’d ever tire of hearing himself referred to as a dad.
Curtis shrugged. “Naw. Vicki said everything has been handled.”
“Yes. The funeral and services are handled,” Green clarified. “But I thought maybe you’d like to talk about how you’re feeling. Now that she’s gone.”
Curtis stood abruptly. His eyes were everywhere but on them. He went back over to the side of his bed and started adjusting the covers. “I’m good. I think I’m just gonna rest, I’m tired.”
Green looked at Ruxs who looked just as uneasy as him. Just like he’d suspected. Curtis wasn’t grieving. As soon as Green brought it up, Curtis avoided it. He might need to look into getting him some professional counseling. He stood slowly, not sure if he should push. Ruxs grabbed his arm and pulled him towards the door. Curtis was already burrowing under the thick comforter.
“Can you hit the lights on your way out?” Curtis said, his voice muffled in the pillow.
Ruxs cut the lights off, plunging them into darkness.
“Night, buddy.”
“Night, Curtis.”
Green was pulling up the door when he heard a sad, “Night, Dads.”
“Come on, Chris. Just give him some time. You can’t force it,” Ruxs whispered when he saw Green hesitate.
He and Ruxs walked back to their bedroom. They climbed into bed and Ruxs held onto him from behind, laying soft kisses on the back of his neck. He could feel that Ruxs wanted to get something started but Green’s heart was heavy with wanting to do the right thing for Curtis. He gently rebuffed Ruxs’ advances and turned the lights out. Ruxs sighed softly against his neck but didn’t make a big deal of it. It wasn’t long before he heard Ruxs’ soft snores behind him.
Green had a lot on his mind and sleep was not coming. He didn’t like what had happened to Curtis and he didn’t know how to help a boy that had lost the only biological family he had. He wanted to be everything Curtis needed and he constantly thought of ways he could be the best dad ever. He was also stressed about not being there to back up his partner during a major bust. He couldn’t be sure that Ruxs would feel secure and have his head in the right place with him not by his side. He was also concerned that immediately after the past couple of times – the only times – that he and Ruxs had made love, Green’s mind had been consumed with Curtis. Not giving him and his partner that very important time after sex to bond. He’d have to fix that too. Green’s head spun as the night hours ticked by.
I’ll Be Home Tonight
Ruxs sat at the breakfast bar in his task force uniform, drinking a very strong cup of coffee while he watched Green shuffle around in the kitchen making breakfast. He knew his partner, knew him better than he knew himself. He was stressing himself about Curtis, thinking it was his fault that Curtis was not grieving. When Ruxs lost his grandmother it took him six months before he could really grieve because he had to immediately take care of his self-destructive mom. There’s no rulebook to follow when you’ve lost a loved one. Everyone grieved at their own pace and in their own time. Green needed to understand that.