“No, I want you to listen,” Michelle said.
Reaching down for the corner of the sheet, I put it over my hips, trying to garner some semblance of decency. My emotions were everywhere. My mind raced quickly, interchanging thoughts on a dime, but I couldn’t latch onto any of them. My anger, my frustration, my weakness, or my loneliness. My care for Michelle, my fear for the baby, my want for her body, or my need for her voice.
All of it, toggling between one another.
Rendering me silent with pain.
“I know the point of my coming here wasn’t to do any of that. I get that, Gray.”
Her voice was so soft. It was too good for my ears.
“But you can’t keep popping into my life, tossing it on its head, and then expecting me to put the pieces back together. You did that twice in Stillsville. You left me, Gray. Twice. The first time, willingly. And the second time, out of anger and spite.”
I grimaced at the memories.
“Now, you’ve come into Williston, you’ve punched a guy in the face at my work, and I’m not sure I even have a job if I go back there now. That job was offered to me as a favor to my brother, and I’m not sure Trey will give it back to me after what you pulled.”
“You have a brother?” I asked.
The second the question left my lips, I knew I’d made a mistake. Michelle sighed and shook her head, then tossed her gaze back out the window. We knew nothing about one another. Nothing that mattered, anyway. Whether she wasn’t comfortable telling me or didn’t feel as if I cared enough to listen, that point didn’t matter. What mattered was the fact that there was a good chance I was going to have a child with this woman, and I was chasing all over the country after her without knowing a damn thing about her.
“Please come to Napa with me. At least until the baby’s born, Michelle. I promise there will be no strings. No sex. No requirements of any sort. I’ll treat you with respect, you’ll see all the best doctors, and you’ll give birth in the best facilities. You’ll have your own room. Hell, your own corner of the damn house. If you want to get a job, I’ll help you find one. If you don’t want a job, I’ll keep you comfortable.”
“Then what?” she asked.
Her face turned back to mine and caught my gaze.
“What happens after the baby comes, Gray? What then?” she asked.
I honestly didn’t know how to answer that question. I still hadn’t shaken the voices. The small whispers at the back of my mind were still constantly telling me she was using me. That she would take my money. That this child wasn’t really mine.
And sometimes, they grew louder and louder, until it was all I could think about.
“I know this child is yours,” she said. “But, hypothetically speaking, what if it isn’t? What if I do have it wrong? What if, by some insane torture devised by an entity somewhere that doesn’t give a shit about a lowly girl like me, this child is Andy’s? Hm? You’ve spent all that money and all that time on a child that isn’t yours. Are you going to want that money back?”
Fuck. That statement did nothing to quell the voices in my head.
“I can’t live on temporary forever, Grayson. One thing I do know is that this child is mine. I know it’s yours as well, but you aren’t banking on that truth, so I won’t speak to it. But this child is mine. I’m growing it. Which means I get a say in what happens. You can’t uproot me from the only job I have to provide for my child simply because you don’t think my job is good enough for a kid that you aren’t fully convinced is yours.”
“When the child comes, we’ll figure out some sort of agreement. We’ll tackle it then, okay?” I asked.
“No,” she said. “That isn’t good enough. I’m not sure what you aren’t telling me, but you speak as if I’m not going to be raising this child. If I go with you and just stay comfortable until I give birth, I’m not earning any money to raise this child with. I still won’t have a permanent roof over my child’s head. I can’t risk all that on the idea that you might agree to take care of me—maybe, maybe not. Depending on if the mood suits you.”
“That’s isn’t what I’m—”
“You’ve left twice,” she said flatly.
“I’m not leaving you again.”
“Until the baby comes. And then what? I’m going to head back to Williston with a child to raise?”
“No,” I said.
“Am I going to live with you and try to be one big, happy family?”
I bit down onto the inside of my cheek to keep from answering. Deep down, I really wanted to believe she wanted to raise this child. Not just take me for my money and live off my wealth while raising it. My heart longed to believe she was different. My soul craved the idea that she wanted to be a mother to a child that was possibly ours. I raked my hands through my hair. I felt myself losing traction with her. I thought she’d be happy coming with me to Napa. Living a life of luxury. Not working and putting her feet up for a change.
But here she was, once again destroying my expectations.