She shakes her head, still not able to grasp the fact that I want her, which amazes me. Does she not own a mirror? I mean, she’s the sweetest person ever, but she’s breathtakingly beautiful too. Her face is red and her voice raises. “And what? You give me a story, I have sex with you? I give you my virginity. We call it even.”
She blushes when she realizes what she just confessed, and I reach across the table and cover her hand with my own. I want to flinch at how crass it all sounds. I wouldn’t blame her if she told me no. And even though she doesn’t move her hand, she continues to ramble on. “Tell me how you see this playing out. We go in the back bedroom, do the deed, and then I interview you?”
Her voice gets louder as she goes. I’m not doing this right. Of course, I’m going to fuck this up. “I want you. I’ll give you the story regardless. The rest can play out.”
She puts her hands up in the air and stares at the ceiling. “Now you don’t want to have sex with me. My inexperience is a turn-off.”
I stand up and move next to her. I pull her up so she’s standing. I crowd her, and I do it on purpose. Not only do I need her next to me, but I want her to feel me next to her. She shouldn’t have any doubt that I want her, and the way my body reacts just standing next to her, fuck that, just being near her should prove to her that I want her. “I want you, and fuck, I like the idea of being your first.” In my head, I say and your only. Because the fact is, I know once I have her, I won’t be able to let her go. Someway, I’ll have to convince her that I’m what she needs. I wrap my hands around her waist, pulling her lower body against mine. I want her to know, to feel what she does to me. “But I’m not used to forcing someone to have sex with me...”
She leans her head against my chest, hiding her face from me. Her voice is muffled. “Right, because you can have anyone. Oh my God, and you probably have.”
I could let her think that, but I want to be as upfront with her as I can. I pull her chin up so she’s looking at me. I want her to see the sincerity on my face. “You’ll be my first too, Willa.”
Her mouth falls open, and her eyes get huge as she stares back at me.
I smirk. “Does my inexperience turn you off?”
She shakes her head side to side. “I don’t believe it.”
“It’s the truth. There’s only one woman I get hard for, and you’re it. When I was the chubby kid in high school, I couldn’t be around you because of it. For the last four years, nothing. And today I hear your voice, and I’m hard.” I leave out the part where I’ve only masturbated to images of her. There are some things I’m sure she’s not ready to hear yet.
Her wheels are spinning, and it’s obvious she’s trying to take in everything I said. Confusion etches on her face. “I don’t get it. You hated me in high school. You avoided me.”
I shake my head. “I didn’t hate you. If anything, it was the opposite. I gave up after I knew I didn’t have a chance.”
She brings her hand up to her head and flinches. “What do you mean you didn’t have a chance? I don’t understand.”
I step back. “Do you still get your headaches? Let me get you something.”
I don’t wait for her to answer. I go into the kitchen and grab some Tylenol and come back to her with it in my hand. She’s looking at me quizzically. “You remember I had headaches.”
She used to have them all the time. She would have to go to the nurse to get a Tylenol. “I remember everything about you.”
She takes the pills from me and swallows them before setting the glass down with a thud. “What do you mean you didn’t have a chance with me?”
I put my hands in the front pockets of my sweatpants. I hate even talking about that day. I was going to ask Willa out on a date our last day of senior high school. It took every ounce of courage to do it. “Robin told me you weren’t interested in me. She said you liked Levi Duncan.”
“Robin? My old friend Robin?”
I nod, and she shakes her head. “That bitch. She knew I liked you. I can’t believe...” She looks up at me. “Oh God, and you believed her? Levi Duncan was a complete ass.”