She shrugged and sniffled. “I don’t wanna visit him.”
“What about me?”
Finnegan was her closest friend. McCullough and Montgomery always sat next to each other in class so they’d been friends since kindergarten. Once, he told her he was gonna marry her. But Erin didn’t want a husband, on account of them gettin’ mean and bossy over time. But Finn swore not all husbands yelled.
“My dad’s nice,” he once told her. “He loves my mother more than the stars love the sky.”
Erin didn’t know if such a love was possible, but she figured if it was, she could put up with that sort of marriage. So she promised Finn she’d marry him only if he loved her like the stars love the sky.
She leaned her head on his bony shoulder and stared at the forest line of trees as the sky caught fire under the falling sun. “You’re my best friend, Finnegan, but sometimes I think I might die if I stay here.”
“We’re nine, Erin. That’s too young to die.”
“I don’t mean with wrinkles and age like old people die. I mean, sometimes, it feels like that house steals the life out of me. I’m here, but if I stay, eventually, there will be nothing left of me, nothing good. If you really loved me like the stars love the sky, you wouldn’t ask me to stay here.”
He sniffled and scooted closer. “Who’s gonna skip rocks and climb trees with me?”
“You have your brothers and sisters to play with.”
“I guess.”
When the sun finally faded and the sky darkened to a deep blue, she brushed the gravel off the soles of her feet. Cuts and mud tore up her skin, but she didn’t care. “I gotta get back.”
“Don’t go yet.” His brow pinched under a swath of blond hair. “I don’t know when I’ll see you again.”
She crouched to kneel in front of him. “Don’t be sad, Finnegan. Be happy for me. If I’m not at school tomorrow, tell yourself it’s because I went to a better place. Miss me like I’ll miss you, but don’t be mad at me. I couldn’t bear it.”
“Promise you’ll write me letters as soon as you get to your new home.”
“I promise.”
He hugged her so tight, she felt his arms around her several minutes after he let go.
When she crept back into her house, the television played quietly and her father slept on the chair in the den. Harrison’s door was shut and a light showed from the crack.
“Momma?” Knocking at her parents’ bedroom, the hinges creaked as the door glided open. The room was dark and Erin tiptoed inside. “Momma? Are you sleeping?”
She approached the bed, only to find it empty, the coverlet in place.
Frowning, she clicked on the bedside lamp. “Momma?”
Erin turned, scanning her parent’s bedroom. The glass tray that usually held her mother’s perfumes was empty. Her stomach hollowed until an ache formed in her spine. She lurched to the dresser and pulled a drawer open. The empty weight of the wood caused her breath to hitch.
Yanking open another drawer and then another, she gasped as every trace of her mother vanished. She rushed to the closet and slid open the door, only to find empty hangers beside her father’s flannel shirts and slacks.
“No.” Tears flooded her eyes. Blinking hard, her vision blurred. She turned and—
The slap knocked her clear off her feet and she fell to the floor.
“What do you think you’re doing in my room?”
Erin cupped her blazing cheek. “Where’s Momma?”
“What did I tell you about coming in here? Go to your room!”
The clink of his belt buckle had her scurrying off the floor and racing to her bedroom. She slammed the door tight and dragged a chair across the carpet, wedging it tightly under the knob.
“Next time I catch you in my bedroom I’ll give you something to cry about!” Her dad’s fist hit the door and she flinched.
Crossing to the farthest wall, she slid her back down the plaster and watched the door.
Momma was gone. She left without even saying goodbye, left them here with him.
Like all the other times he hit her, Erin couldn’t go to school until the bruises healed. When she finally returned, Finnegan was thrilled and confused.
“You’re back!”
“I never left,” she said through gritted teeth. Afraid to show any emotion at school with so many watching, she kept her eyes hard and her stare cold.
“So your momma stayed?”
She knew Finnegan was only asking as a friend with her best interest at heart, but she couldn’t bear his cheer. “No, she didn’t stay,” she snapped. “Why would anyone stay here if they had somewhere better to go? Not everyone gets to live in some big storybook house on a mountain, Finnegan. Some of us just live in shitty little houses with shitty little lives.”
“Erin Montgomery, did I just hear a swear come from your mouth,” Mrs. Clemons asked, arms crossed as she stared down at Erin’s unfinished worksheet. “Finnegan, scoot your desk away from Erin’s and finish your work in the back. Erin, come up to my desk.”