“Are you having such a good time that you don’t want to get out of here?”
“Ooh.” She shivers with delight. I knew this is what she wanted, to just get down to business. I suppose she’s one of those girls who gets what she wants without even having to think about it. “Maybe. Not yet, but maybe soon. If you play your cards right, I might even end up leaving with you.”
Shockingly, I’m relieved that she doesn’t want to go right now. I suppose it isn’t surprising considering how I’m feeling tonight, but it is for my usual self. This would normally irritate me and maybe even seem like too much hard work. I would probably be scanning my eyes around to find my next victim.
“Of course.” I give her a genuine smile. “That sounds good to me. Would you like another drink?”
She nods and flashes her wine glass at me. I can see a dot of red in the bottom which gives me a hint to what she wants. As I stand up, I can already feel the oppressive weight of expectation falling off of me.
“She didn’t blow you off, did she?” Jack asks in shock as I near him. “I thought she was good to go.”
“Don’t you worry your pretty little head.” I ruffle his hair playfully. “She just wants a drink.”
“Ooh, making you work for it, I like her style.” He purses his lips thoughtfully while staring over at Saskia, “You know what? I might throw my hat back in the ring and see if I can win this competition after all.”
I chuckle, not annoyed by that at all. “You go for it, mate. It’ll be good to see you shot down.”
He leaves me rapidly and slides over to the table to take my seat. It’s probably still warm from when my butt cheeks were there, but I really don’t care. I honestly don’t think me and Saskia are going to end up doing the nasty after all. My heart isn’t in it and I just don’t see how I’m going to get over this hump.
What have you done to me, Lucie? I think while tugging my cell phone out of my pocket. My plan is to turn it off so I can’t be tempted to contact her later on when I’ve been drinking and I lose all sense of rationality, but I don’t quite manage it. Instead of tuning off the phone, I end up looking at the message stream between us. Each and every one makes me feel something and it’s absolutely terrifying. I’m not the person who feels something, Lucie. What am I supposed to do with all of these feelings?
I suppose I’m left with two options; either I delete all contact with her and I never think about her again, I forget all about our friendship and the nice kiss we shared, or I can see her again and try to work out if this is something even more than I’m prepared to admit.
“Hello?” the bar tender tries to get my attention. “Can I get you something? As long as it isn’t more champagne from somewhere else, I don’t mind. I can’t leave the bar alone until someone else comes in.”
I laugh as I realize it’s the same person I sent out… but the champagne and the partying aren’t what I remember from that day, reconnecting with Lucie is what sticks out in my mind. The rest of it pretty much pales into insignificance. If he hadn’t reminded me then, I might not have thought about it again… which really confirms things, I think. There’s something I need to do, however much it freaks me out.
“You know what?” I slide Saskia’s glass along the bar. Jack can get her a drink if he wants to. “No, thank you. I have to go. I have some stuff that I need to take care of.”
I swig the rest of my beer, then I bang the bottle down on the bar. Then I turn and I leave, not worrying what any of them might think of me. This is something that I actually do need to sort out, one way or another I need to know.
8
Lucie
“Lucie?” All of a sudden, Rhiannon’s voice drags me from my thoughts. “Lucie, are you okay?”
Physically, I might be in the desert bar with them, eating my ice cream and drinking my fizzy pop, but mentally I’m on another planet. I can’t seem to stop myself from getting distracted however hard I try.
“Oh, yeah, sorry.” My entire body bursts into flames as both my friends stare at me. “Sorry, I’m…”
“You’re somewhere else all the time,” Cindy grumbles. “I wish you’d just tell us what’s going on.”
Again, I’m swamped by guilt. I hate keeping this to myself, but it feels like the right thing to do. I guess it’s just easier. “Oh, I’m sorry. I just don’t think I’m feeling so good at the moment, that’s all.”
“Is it stress?” Rhiannon sounds concerned. “Because if so, maybe you should go home for a while.”
“I’ll only do that if I want to add to the stress!” I giggle, trying to make a joke out of the whole thing. “Going home too my parents after spending all this time away from them sounds like hell to me.”
“What are we going to do after this?” Cindy changes the subject, and I’m sure it’s because she doesn’t believe me. Maybe I’m just being paranoid, but she isn’t the type to suffer fools lightly. I know she won’t want to fall out with me so just not talking about it is easier, I suppose. “We could go and watch a movie at the cinema? It isn’t that late, is it? Do either of you have anything going on early?”
Just as I’m about to answer, my phone starts ringing. Confused, I tug it out of my pocket and see the name on the screen. As soon as I spot that it’s Kade, my heart sinks and flies all at once. I desperately need to speak to him, but I can’t do it here. My brain darts back and forth until finally I make a choice.
“Oh, speak of the Devil, it’s my mom.” I slide out of the seat, ready to make my escape. “I’ll take this outside because she speaks really quietly and it isn’t always easy to hear her. I’ll be back in a sec.”
I clutch my phone tightly to my chest as I run through the building as if I’m holding Kade close to my heart. We’ve messaged back and forth, but he hasn’t rung me and I can’t wait to hear what he has to say. So many potential scenarios spin through my mind as my hopes rise despite the knowledge that they shouldn’t.
“Hello?” I gasp breathlessly as I reach the cool night air. I wanted a moment to cool myself down first so I can actually seem like I’m not a nerd, but I also didn’t want it to go through to voice mail.