There was nothing worse than regret, and I knew that first hand. Everything in me wanted to protect Nathan the same way he went out of his way to protect me. Though I wasn’t the root of the falling out between them, I was definitely one of the causes, and I felt it necessary to make sure I helped bring them back together, at least from the sidelines. The way I saw it, by going home and facing his father, Nathan had nothing to lose. If he didn’t and we stayed behind in Hawaii, not only would it be constantly on his mind, but he might never have the chance to even know what his father needed. Sure, Nick was a definite sore spot for him and his dad, but now his dad needed help, and he couldn’t turn to Nick. Big surprise. Nathan didn’t owe them anything, but I knew with the type of man Nathan was, he would want to help in one form or another.
The plane ride home was silent, and I looked over at Nathan as we rode along. He sat quietly with his hands in his lap, staring out the window into the darkness of the night. When we got back, we went to my house since we still hadn’t figured out living arrangements, and Nathan didn’t seem comfortable at his apartment. I was pretty sure it was because it reminded him of his past life, one that he was desperately trying to forget. By the time we got back to San Diego, the sun was starting to peek out so we grabbed some coffee and headed over to the house. We unpacked our luggage and changed our clothes, all in silence. I knew Nathan needed to think so I let him be.
“I want you to come with me,” he said, looking up at me as I filled the laundry basket.
“Are you sure?”
“You are my wife, and I have no secrets from you,” he said. “I could really use your strength and light in that dim, dark office.”
“Of course,” I said, walking over and kissing his cheek.
I changed my clothes quickly, and we headed out to the Landers Estate. As we pulled through the gates, I thought about the last time I was there. When I left, I thought I would never come back here. We pulled up out front and were greeted by the service staff. I smiled kindly at the women from the kitchen who were always so kind to me when I came to visit. I looked around at all the faces, realizing there seemed to be quite a few more service staff than normal. I wondered what one man could possibly need this many staff for but shrugged my shoulders, figuring it was his normal excess and attempt to make the house not seem so quiet and empty.
As we walked into the giant foyer, I looked up at the beautiful marble arches, remembering feeling so overwhelmed by them as a child. I had come from a two-bedroom home on a farm in Mexico and ended up in a seventeen-bedroom home in the hills of San Diego. It was a bit of a change for a little girl. Now, though, the surroundings seemed hollow and almost sad, the shadows darker than before, and the faces in the crowd quiet and somber.
I was nervous as to how Noah was going to accept my presence, especially after the way he treated me last time I was in front of him, or behind him for that matter. I was pretty sure he never found out that I had come over there that day to confront him, but now, seeing how things turned out, I was glad I never made it in front of his desk. I took a deep breath as I followed behind Nathan and entered Noah’s office. I was surprised to find a different man sitting in the chair behind the desk. Where once sat an angry, but healthy man, now sat a thin and frail person. His skin was more wrinkled, his eyes had dulled to a gray, and the color in his cheeks had faded away. The look on his face was somber, not angry, and he looked less vital than he did the many times I had seen before. I glanced up at Nathan’s face, and I could tell he was hiding his shock at what his father looked like. His face was straight and stern as he approached Noah’s desk.
“Have a seat,” Noah said. “Please.”
His voice was raspy and rough, leading to an even darker realization that he may not be well at all. I wasn’t sure if it was life in general, Nick, or his health, but something had drastically changed Mr. Landers, and it was not for the better. However, as his eyebrows relaxed and he folded his hands in his lap, I realized there was no hidden bitterness left inside of him, and it took me by surprise. Six months was a very long time for someone like Noah, and it could lead to many changes, including, as it seemed, a completely different viewpoint on life.
Nathan motioned to the seat next to him, and I smiled politely, sitting down and crossing my legs. Noah looked at me for a moment and back at Nathan, but I couldn’t tell what was going on in his mind. He seemed to be distraught, but my being there didn’t seem to bother him at all.
“First, I would like to thank you for coming,” he said with tired eyes. “And I would like to congratulate you both on getting married. I had no idea. I’m sorry you had to cut your honeymoon short.”
I was surprised by his words, but I kept my mouth shut. Instead, I smiled kindly and nodded. Nathan reached over and took my hand, squeezing it tightly in his. I could tell he was having a hard time already, and I couldn’t blame him. Noah looked and sounded terrible, and it was heartbreaking.
“A lot has happened,” he said, grabbing a handkerchief and coughing into it. “Your brother, Nicholas, is being investigated by the FBI for fraud surrounding some questionable international investments. Luckily, he did that on his own and not through the company. If that had been the case, there would be no company to discuss today. Since I kept control of the company and Nick had no ability to control where the money went, they did not freeze our assets. That being said, you can only imagine what this kind of scandal can do to a business’s reputation. Our quarterly profits are at rock bottom, and Nick has run off to South America with, what I am assuming is no real interest in coming back. Things are very bleak.”
Nathan sat there for a moment, taking all that information in. That was a lot of news for one tiny office, and even I was shocked, sitting there with wide eyes. Nathan looked around the room at the pictures on the walls and the books on the shelf. The room had been the same way since I had moved in here, with the exception of a couple of awards and some lame Father’s Day gifts. Nathan took a deep breath and looked back at Noah, shrugging his shoulders and shaking his head.
“And how does this affect me?” he asked coldly. I could tell it was an act, and a really hard one for him to put on. “You tossed me out of everything, remember? You put yourself and this company in this position.”
I reached over and patted Nathan on the arm, feeling that he was starting to let his anger run loose inside of him. He needed to listen to everything and really take it all in. Otherwise, he would let his emotions rule him and make a decision he might not be happy with later. The entire point of this was not to get him his old life back. He had a life with me. But it was to allow him to face the turmoil in his family and come out the other side feeling satisfied and without regrets at the decision he made. The touch of my hand seemed to calm him a bit, and he leaned back, staring at his father who had turned and looked out the office window.
“Why can’t you take over the helm again and bring the struggling company back from the brink?” Nathan asked. “That is what you have been known for your whole life. You are known as the man who built an empire and survived the darkest days of the economy since the great depression. You were known as one of the top businessmen in the world. I know that sitting around all day and playing golf with your buddies can soften you a bit, but I’m sure you have it in you.” Nathan looked at his father in the eye as he turned back toward us. “I don’t know what you want from me. I am not the cleanup crew anymore. I did it once when mom died because I wanted to do it for her, but I don’t owe you or Nick anything. Anything you might think I owed you from being your son has been more than paid off.”
“All right,” his father said sadly. “I can’t take over t
he company because I’m sick.”
“Sick? What do you mean sick?” Nathan sat forward in his chair and stared at the old frail man on the other side of the desk. I had a feeling that what Noah was about to say next was going to knock us off our feet. I reached over and grabbed onto Nathan’s hand, squeezing it as Noah looked him straight in the eye.
“I have colon cancer,” he replied. “It has spread everywhere, and there is nothing they can really do.”
Chapter Twenty Seven
Nathan
The words flowed so easily from my father’s mouth, but they hit me like a blow to the face. I leaned back in my chair, unsure if I really heard what I thought I heard. Everything in the room immediately sounded muffled and felt as if it were in slow motion. I looked down at Ronni’s hand grasping mine, but I couldn’t feel it. My father was dying of cancer and from the looks of it, he had known for a while. To make matters worse, while our father was here trying to handle the fact that he was dying, my brother was trying to fuck the company before the FBI caught on.
He must have realized he was driving the company into the ground and decided it was better to take the money and run than face my father and a federal prison. Since Mom died, it was hard to face my father, but to completely screw him over while he was facing a death sentence was low, even for Nick. My father had always been so full of life, living it on the edge, unlike me. It was so hard to wrap my head around the fact that he was dying. It almost felt like a bad dream that I couldn’t shake myself awake from. And even with all that information, my father was looking to me to save the day again. He wanted me to bring his company back, just like I had done when the great recession had hit us hard.
I had been the hero last time, bringing the company back, saving the family fortune, and raising us higher than when we started. It sounded great on the outside, but in reality, it was absolutely miserable on the inside. I didn’t even know what to say. I couldn’t get my mind clear enough to even think straight. They expected me to do this, but did I want to? Did I want to drag Ronni through hell by spending hours a day at the office, coming home late, grumpy, and tired? Did it mean enough to me to put everything we had worked so hard for on hold just to appease my dying father?
And after everything my father and Nick put me through, how they tossed me from the will, from the company, and forced me to choose between the love of my life and them? I didn’t even know if they deserved my help. Suddenly, all the noise of the house came rushing back into my ears, and I looked up at my father. His face was solemn, and he wouldn’t meet my gaze. I looked over at Ronni, unsure of what to do in that moment. That was a lot of information to take in at once, and I couldn’t just make a decision right here on the spot.
“I’m sorry,” I said, shaking my head and standing from the chair. “I need to think about all of this.”