And there it is. The reminder that it isn’t the same. It’s better, it’s more, it’s everything. Ben really is mine now, we don’t have that element of uncertainty anymore. It’s me and him against the world. Well, with Brandon and Rose too, of course. Our reason to keep on fighting.
“I love you too.” I kiss the end of his nose gently. “You’re my world.”
When Ben kisses me again I fell him slide inside me, which instantly drags me back into that deep, passionate haze again. My hair spreads out around my, my eyes roll into the back of my head, my hips buck of their own accord... me and Ben are back, doing what we do best.
He fills me up and pushes deeper with every thrust. I can feel him hitting all the right spots already, and since I’m already on fire this just sends me over the edge too quickly. I cry out and I trash as I draw ever nearer to the wonderful, unexpected moment that I’ve been desperately waiting for ever since I sat down on this couch and Ben started kissing me.
“Oh fuck, Ben!”
I’m over the edge, I’ve fallen. The hurricane has exploded within me. It’s swirling, twirling, cascading, taking me down and I love the sensation. It’s incredible. I never want it to end, especially with Ben gripping onto me as if he feels the same way.
This is someone that I could easily spend the rest of my life with, I think as the pleasure booms. I love him, he loves me, this time I think it might just last.
Once we lie in one another’s arms, panting and gasping in the post coital bliss, I revisit that last thought I had as the orgasm swirled and crashed inside me. Actually, I think I’ve always thought that Ben is someone I could marry, that’s why I got so carried away by him in the first place, but now I really feel it. Now it isn’t just a fantasy, it’s a reality. It’s not like I think it’s going to happen any time soon, but it isn’t something that I think will never happen either.
Mom, Dad, if only you could see me now. If only you could learn that it all worked out for the best. Would you still stick by your decision to throw me out when I needed you the most?
I don’t even care about their actions anymore, it’s them missing out, not me. I’m doing just fine with my brand new family. They don’t deserve a piece of me, not anymore. I have everything that I need right here.
“Are you hungry?” Ben gasps from beside me. “Shall we use this rare free time to do something else that we adore?”
“What, eat?” I laugh. “Sure, that sounds great.” My stomach grumbles loudly at the mere mention of food. “Really great apparently. Thank you. What did you have in mind?”
“I do a really good meat and beans on toast, how does that sound?”
“Mmm, it sounds delicious. Thank you, my wonderful top chef.”
“Top chef?” He wiggles his eyebrows playfully at me. “You have no idea, you’re in for a real treat.”
When Ben stands up and he pulls his clothes back on him, or more comfortably around him anyway, things happened a bit quick for us to get him fully naked, I smirk happily to myself at the sight of him. I really did land a good guy; handsome, lovely, a great father... I really don’t need anything else. Somehow I managed to get it all.
Chapter Twenty Nine – Ben
“Are you ready for this?” Tia asks me nervously, fiddling with my clothing as if she’s my mom. “Are you sure you know what you
’re doing?”
“Will you stop it?” I bat her hands away from my shirt. “I know what I’m doing, alright? You’re going to make me more nervous than I am.” I glance my eyes everywhere. “Do you think it looks alright? Do you think she’ll be happy with it?”
“You know who you’re talking about right?” Tia giggles. “Serena will love it. She loves everything that you do, but the fact that you’ve gone to so much effort for her birthday will make her weep. Don’t forget, the last birthday she had she spent pregnant and alone.”
“Don’t remind me.” A darkness clouds me for a moment, I will always feel guilty for that. “I didn’t even know it was her birthday then, I can’t be blamed.”
“I know, I know. I’m not trying to make you feel bad. I’m just reminding you that she will absolutely love anything you do for her. You’ve gone from strength to strength these last ten months. This surprise party is something she’ll love.” Tia glances down to my pocket. “It’s the other bit I’m worrying about. Do you know what you’re doing? What you’re going to say?” I nod slowly. “I have to admit that proposing in front of a lot of people is a very brave thing to do. Either brave or crazy stupid, I can’t quite work out which one you are.”
I roll the ring around in my pocket, loving the feel of it there. “Yes, I know, but this is right, you know? And it isn’t everyone. Just the people who have been a big part of this.”
“Yeah, I know, that’s true.” She glances at her watch. “Right, we better get ready because your mom will be here with the kids in a minute, then it won’t be long until Jenny comes back with Serena after their spa day.”
“You and Jenny all good now then?” I know that she’s probably told me already, but I’ve been too tired running a business and being a dad to fully pay attention to everything going on around me. “All the Mike stuff sorted out?”
“Once we trapped him into confessing that he’d been seeing us both at the same time and he started crying... yeah, we became good friends after that. It was too glorious a moment for us not to bond over, you know?”
“Oh yeah... it sounds it.” I want to laugh, but I have to admit there’s a tiny part of me that feels sorry for Mike. Just a tiny bit. He probably didn’t realise what an asshole he was being, I never did when I led that freer life style. “Well, I’m glad it’s all done anyway. That’s pretty awesome.”
“Makes life easier... was that the door? I’ll go and get it, it’s probably your mom. You just... have a final check over the place, okay?”
She gives me a curious look, but when I nod and I send her away I can understand why I’m shaking all over, I’m a nervous wreck. I feel like I’m all kinds of messed up today. And on this day as well when I need more than ever to keep it together. This will be one of the most important days of my life. Right up there with the day that my kids were born.