I finished up everything at work and rushed to get out of the office. Tiffany was strongly on my mind, and I really hoped the doctor hadn’t given her the bad news. She didn’t need any more stress or sadness in her life. She had endured enough over the last few months. I hopped in one of the company cars and had him stop for flowers on the way. Whatever it was she had to tell me, I wanted to be ready to catch her, be there for her, and make her feel better the best I knew how. When I got home, she wasn’t there yet, so I went inside and changed my clothes. I pulled on a pair of jeans and sweater, stopping at the thermostat to turn on the heat. It had gotten freezing cold outside lately, and I wanted everything to be comfortable for Tiffany when she arrived. I had no idea what she was on her way to tell me, and my nerves bubbled in my stomach. What if she’d found out there was nothing they could do? What if she’d discovered it wasn’t PCOS but something else instead? Whatever it was, I would be there for her, and we would take the next step together, whatever it may be.
I walked through the house, pacing as I checked out the window for a cab every five seconds. I was assuming she was coming from the doctor’s office, which was across town, so she probably got stuck in traffic. I went into the kitchen and started the coffee maker, wanting something warm to heat up my hands while the heat in the house caught up enough to take the chill out of the air. At the same time, I didn’t know whether it was the house or my nerves causing me to be so cold and shaky. Everything had been going so well between us, and I was determined to help her get to a place with this condition where she felt comfortable, satisfied with her results, and resolute to move forward. The last thing I wanted was for her to be all alone, receiving some bad news from a doctor, and then have to repeat it all over again when she got to me. It wasn’t my place to go with her to the visits, but at that moment, I wished I had forced the issue.
I poured myself a cup of coffee and put the cream and sugar in, just how I liked. I wrapped my hands around the mug and carried it over to the window, leaning against the wall as I watched different cars pass back and forth down my road. Finally, a yellow cab pulled up out front, and I quickly made my way to the front door where I greeted Tiffany with open arms. I wrapped myself around her and squeezed her tightly, trying to gauge the look on her face. She didn’t look like there was anything seriously wrong, but it was more like her mind was on another planet. I took her hand and led her inside, closing the door behind us and following her into the living room. She took off her jacket and sat down on the couch, leaning her head back against the seat.
“Can I get you anything? I just made coffee,” I said, pointing to the kitchen.
“No.” She sent me a shaky smile. “Just come sit down.”
“Okay,” I said, taking a seat across from her. “I’m really nervous
.”
“It's not completely confirmed yet,” she said, clenching her hands together. “But it looks like I’m pregnant.”
“What?” I blinked at her trying to wrap my head around those words. It was like she was talking in a different language. “You’re pregnant?”
“That’s what the blood tests said,” she replied. “I got a call earlier today from my doctor who said that my blood test, which they did since I had sex between periods, came back positive during the pregnancy test. They said I do have PCOS, but it seems that my body was willing to give this a chance without me having to jump through hoops. The blood test is going to make sure my HCG levels are rising like they are supposed to. Once they have that confirmed, then I go back to my regular doctor and go through this pregnancy like any normal person, with just a tad bit more attention because of the PCOS.”
“Wow,” I said standing up and walking around the room. I started laughing. “Wow, that is just absolutely amazing. This is beyond anything I could have imagined. I am more than thrilled.”
“Really?” She acted as if she expected a different reaction. “We only just started dating.”
“I know.” I sat next to her and took her hands in mine. “I don’t care how long we’ve been dating. I’m really excited to have a child with you. I want you to be happy, no matter what that means. I’ve always wanted children, and I have some very serious feelings for you. I mean nothing ever truly happens when we want it to, right? This baby is a miracle and a gift, and I couldn’t imagine sharing that with anyone else.”
She smiled wide, and I reached over, pulling her head toward mine, and pressed my lips against hers. She kissed me passionately before pulling away to rest her forehead against mine and look deep into my eyes. Tears pooled at the edges of hers, and I reached up and brushed my hand over her cheek. She was so beautiful and full of life, and with just those words of support, I could see her letting go of the fears and starting to allow herself to get excited over the news.
“So,” I said, leaning back and turning toward her. “Life is going to change so much. It's really exciting.”
“Gosh,” she scoffed. “More change, just what I need.”
“Yeah, but this is a good change,” I said excitedly. “I mean, we are really going to have a baby. I wonder if it will be a boy or a girl. I wonder if it will laugh like me or smile like you? I hope whatever gender it is, it has your wonderful, beautiful heart.”
She laughed, throwing her head back and sniffling. I leaned my head against my hand and smiled at her, loving the way she was starting to open up about everything. She relaxed a bit and pulled the throw on the edge of the couch around her shoulders. She looked deep into my eyes, her thoughts dancing across her face.
“When I was a little girl,” she began, “and my parents were all drugged up in the living room, I would lock myself in my room and dream about being a wife and mother. I imagined myself being the best mother ever. I knew I had to give my child lots of hugs, lots of kisses, and lots of love, more love than my parents had ever given me. I imagined my husband to be kind and sweet but strong and protective. He would take care of us, hold us, and be the kind of father I always wished I’d had. When the doctor told me I would never have children, it was almost as if I saw that memory shatter into a million pieces right in front of me. But now, now everything has changed again.”
“When I was a child,” I said, rubbing her arms, “I always knew I wanted to be a father one day. I knew I wanted to be a father to my child like my dad was with me. He was caring and soft but. at the same time, pushed me to be the best man I could be. He made us remember that having pride in ourselves, always being truthful and valiant, and being able to love would open so many doors in our life, not just romantically. I always wondered what he would have been like if one of us had been a girl. I had seen his soft side on a daily basis with the way he handled my mother. He has always been so gentle and kind with her, making sure she never wanted for anything, making sure she was completely taken care of. His family always came before the business, and part of me believes that was why he did so well.”
“Your dad is a wonderful father, and he is going to be an amazing grandfather.” She shook her head. “Part of me really wished my father was responsible enough to be a grandparent, but since I know that will never happen, I couldn’t be happier to have your father there as the solo grandpa.”
“My mom and dad are going to freak.” I laughed at the thought of telling them. “In a good way, of course. They have been waiting forever to become grandparents.”
“Jordan might be another story.” She cringed and shook her head. “He still thinks I can’t have children at all. It’s going to be interesting breaking the news to him.”
“Just shows he gave up too soon, but I’m sure he’ll be fine,” I replied, standing up and reaching down to pull Tiffany to her feet. “Come on, let’s go get comfy and watch movies in my bed. We can just relax for tonight and enjoy this news between the two of us.”
“That sounds perfect.” She followed me back to the room with a satisfied smile replacing the lost expression she’d arrived with.
It was almost shocking how easy that went and even more shocking that there wasn’t an ounce of fear inside of me when she’d told me I was going to be a father. So many men would have taken that very poorly, especially having only dated someone for not even a full month. But with Tiffany, it was different, we were different, and I had never felt closer to her than I did then. She was so beautiful and so complete that I couldn’t imagine having a child with anyone else.
We threw on some warm comfortable clothes and pulled the covers up over us. At first, she laid her head on my chest, watching the old black and white movies that were playing, but she quickly sat up and continued talking about her childhood. I turned the sound down on my television and listened to her intently, wanting to hear every single story she had. I knew her childhood hadn’t been easy, but I was so glad that she and I could provide a life for our child that was comfortable, loving, and protected. My mind was whirling around like crazy at the thought of a baby growing inside of Tiffany’s stomach.
We sat up and talked almost all night long, turning off the movies after about an hour, recognizing we were more interested in discussing all of this and getting to know each other more than we already did. Luckily, she knew my parents and what kind of upbringing I’d had, so she felt comfortable talking about hers. A little after two in the morning, I got up to get a glass of water, but by the time I had come back, Tiffany was sound asleep in the bed. I turned on her alarm so she would have time to go home and change, and then curled up under the covers next to her. She was so warm and calm, and I couldn’t stop watching her sleep. With each breath, I knew that she was growing a child inside of her body, and not just any child but my child. I loved this woman more than anything, and I couldn’t wait to become a father with her by my side.
Chapter 24
Tiffany