“I think you should wear this.” I shove it into her hands. “Or at least try it on. You need to look sexy.”
Mandi gives me a look. “Okay fine. I’ll try it on, but you have to wear this.”
She hands me a red and white polka dot dress that has a sweetheart neck line and a skirt that will puff out around my waist. The idea of wearing this makes my heart hammer against my rib cage and nerves coil in my stomach, but I have to at least try it on, just to see what it looks like. Just in case it’s amazing.
“Fine, I will. But let’s get more stuff.” I smile at her. “I think we might need a few.”
Giggling playfully, we move around the store and grab armfuls of dresses. This is a part of high school that I’ve missed out on so far, and it feels good to take part in it. Even if it doesn’t happen again and it’s just the once, I want to embrace every aspect of being invited to the party of the cool kids. I just hope it goes to plan.
“Right, come on. I think it’s time to go into the changing rooms and try these on.”
As me and Mandi try on the selection of dresses, some of them too conservative, some of them far too sexy, we have a great time. In the end, she picks a little black dress with a ruffled neck line and a elegance as it skims past her knees, and I go for the polka dot dress. It’s quirky, it’s sexy but in a more subtle way, and it’s fun. I’ll stand out anyway, and although that isn’t a position I normally want to find myself in, for Brandon’s party I do. I’m attempting to step out of my shell and becoming a much better person. Maybe that will make the rest of high school that much more bearable. I don’t want to stick my head in the clouds, but it would be nice to think that I could go through the rest of school without suffering any teasing.
Me and Mandi pay for our clothes and we head out to the food court to get ourselves something to eat for dinner. We take our seats with our burgers and fries, just for me to notice the very person that I’m trying to forget.
“Oh my God,” I gush quietly to Mandi as my pulse thuds in my throat. “There’s Zane. He’s here.”
“Is he here with your brother?” She turns in her seat to spot him. “Oh… I see.”
He has a girl with him, but that doesn’t get to me. I already knew that he had a new fling on the go, that’s why he’s been neglecting my brother, it’s the sadness in Zane’s eyes. He isn’t really here with the girl who’s draped all over him. It’s almost as if she can’t see that his eyes are distant, that he isn’t connected to her at all. Maybe she’s so obsessed with him that she doesn’t mind. She’s happy enough to just be seen with him.
“Are you okay, Leah?” Mandi asks. “That must suck. Sorry, I didn’t know that he was with someone.”
“It’s fine.” I give her a shrug. “It doesn’t matter, he always has another girl on the go. I think it might be better for me to forget about him anyway. He really isn’t for me, is he? Like I said before, he’s a fuck boy.”
Mandi sucks in a deep breath and nods. “Yeah, maybe you’re right. There’s plenty of guys in our class anyway, some
of which I’m sure like you. Max, for instance, until your brother terrified the living hell out of him.” She laughs awkwardly. “Zane is too fast and lose for someone like you. You’re too nice for him.”
Too nice. That’s the problem, isn’t it? I’m too nice. It’s almost as if people don’t know how the image of danger turns me on. Zane is nice anyway, he isn’t what he appears to be. He might sleep around and be a player, but the rest of it is just a façade, one that I can see all the way though. But anyway, that doesn’t matter, that’s irrelevant. Zane can be whoever the hell he wants to be. It doesn’t matter to me. Aside from the sadness...
“Do you want to go and talk to him?” Mandi asks. “Make him feel uncomfortable? Could be fun.”
I consider that for a second. Both him and Brandon aren’t happy. Maybe I could bang their heads together and make it alright again. But I don’t necessarily want to get in the way of him and that girl. She’ll hate me for it. I can already tell that she’s one of those girls who really doesn’t tolerate other girls in her space.
“No, I don’t want to,” I reply decisively. “I want to sit here with you and talk about the party because it’s going to be amazing. Especially now considering we’re going to be the best dressed there.”
Mandi lifts her hand for a high five, which I smack willingly. On the outside, I’m the happiest ever, but on the inside, I feel all uneasy. It’s almost as if there’s a storm brewing and something really bad is going to happen. Something that’s going to change the lives of me and everyone around me. The question is what is it, and what the hell can I do about it?
Chapter Six – Zane
I’ve been a dick recently and I know it. I’ve gotten so wrapped up in my own internal bullshit with my father that I’ve allowed everything else to slide. My school work – not that it matters much but apparently – my friendship with Brandon, everything except for Rosa which is annoying because she’s the one thing that I don’t want in my life any longer. I knew it right away, and my fears have been proven right. She’s crazy, she’s obsessed, and she really doesn’t want to let me go. Hooking up with her has only added to my problems.
“Happy birthday, mate,” I say awkwardly to Brandon as I walk in to his party, thankfully alone. I didn’t mention the night to Rosa, and somehow it seems that she doesn’t know about it. “Here’s your gift.”
I hand him the nicely wrapped parcel that the woman in the store sorted out for me. I got him a whole bunch of really nice books to help him through college. I know that he needs more stuff and that he can’t ask his mom for it. So, this seems like the perfect time to help him out a bit. I hope it’s an olive branch too. I want to apologize.
“That’s really nice,” Brandon replies with a forgiving smile. “Thank you, Zane. I’m glad that you’re here.”
“Sorry I’ve been a bit…” I scuff my shoe awkwardly along the ground. “You know. It’s Rosa, she’s crazily obsessive and I’ve had some troubles at home as well. You know better than anyone what that’s like.”
Brandon smiles at me and he throws his arm over my shoulder. I don’t even need him to speak for me to thankfully know that I’m forgiven. He’s a great friend like that, we can have our differences – not that this was even that really – and we can come out the other side stronger than ever. I even think our friendship will survive college. Although, it’s only supposed to be him going off to college, not me as well.
I decide not to bring that up tonight, not on Brandon’s birthday. I’m not really ready to share anyway. I’ll wait until things have calmed down tomorrow when we can talk better. Who knows, maybe Brandon will even have some advice for me. If anyone is smart enough to get me out of this, it’s definitely him.
“Let’s go and get some drinks in!” I say loudly instead. “Come on, you only turn eighteen once!”
The house is absolutely crowded, I’m surprised Miss Hawkin has allowed it but I suppose she wants to give her son a good time. I’m sure she feels guilty for not being there much. She’s an amazing mom despite all of that, I had my birthday three months back and didn’t actually do anything for it because of them. Me and Brandon tried to get into a bar but we immediately got kicked out for looking as underage as we are.