“This is work-related. I want to know that everything is running smoothly, that’s all.”
“No, it isn’t that. I know it isn’t, so why don’t you just be honest with me?”
“Have you spoken to Jodi?” Those words fly out of her mouth so rapidly she almost trips over them all as she goes. “I keep trying to get hold of her, to speak to her. She’s my friend, and she won’t speak to me . . .”
“Are you trying to pretend you don’t know what happened between me and Jodi?”
“I don’t really know anything. You broke up, and she isn’t here anymore. I guess she lost her job at the same time.”
“It wasn’t like that. It wasn’t straightforward. Don’t make out that I’m the bad person.”
“I’m not. I’m just trying to figure out what’s wrong. I’m hoping I haven’t upset her.”
“No, trust me, you haven’t upset her. I’m
sure she’ll speak to you whenever she’s ready.” I push myself up from my desk, unable to focus on work anymore. Not with everyone digging at me. “But I’m getting out of here now. I have to get home. I need to send some emails from there. I’ll speak to you later on.”
I see Shelley and Josh share a look, but I choose to ignore it. Let them think what they want. I know the truth. I like burying myself in work at the moment. It’s usually a good distraction, but it doesn’t seem to be working for this.
* * *
“Mom, stop looking at me like that. I came here for a rest from it all. I don’t need a lecture from you too.”
“I haven’t said anything yet! I’m just sitting here opposite you. It seems like you have a guilty conscience.”
I peek out of one eye, giving Mom a look. I only came to see her because being at home alone wasn’t working out for me. Now I regret it a lot. She’s going to start digging in a moment. I should’ve prepared for this.
“Go on, Mom. I can see the questions behind your eyes. You might as well get it out.”
“I just haven’t seen you for a while, Brock, so I want to know what’s going on with you.”
“You mean with regards to Jodi?” She doesn’t deny it. “I already told you over the phone.”
“You told me that you and she broke up, but I never learned more than that. I know you might not want to talk about it too much, but it seems to me like you need to get it off your chest.”
“I don’t need to get anything off my chest. I don’t want to talk about it, that’s all.”
“Did you do something?” she persists, ignoring what I want completely.
“No, I didn’t do something. I didn’t want it to end. It wasn’t me that made it fall apart.”
“No, I thought you didn’t. I haven’t ever seen you as happy as you were with her. It’s weird.”
“If you thought I was happy, then why do you think I’m the one who did something?”
“I don’t know. I just don’t understand why things would end between you.”
“It just did, Mom. Can’t we just leave it there? I don’t want to discuss it anymore.”
She’s silent for a few moments, and I think she might finally be listening to me. I slide my eyes back fully closed and breathe deeper, desperately trying to calm myself down. I’m doing alright at the moment, surviving this quite well, but today everyone’s been on my case about Jodi, making it impossible.
How am I supposed to recover from my addiction if everyone keeps bringing her up?
“I really thought you were going to be with her forever. That’s what I don’t get.”
“Mom, leave it.” I’m going to have to tell her in a minute, just to shut her up. “Please, talk about something else. Why don’t you tell me about what’s going on with you?”
“Did it just fall apart? I mean, the connection between you two was so strong.”