“Tell me all about you? Well, he didn’t need to. I caught you right at it, didn’t I?”
“Caught me what? He had hold of me, he was—”
“I don’t need to hear the sordid details, Jodi. Just get out of here, okay?”
“No, Brock, don’t . . . I don’t want you to . . . Don’t end it like this. No, Brock, don’t! Don’t! Stop it . . .”
I turn my back on her and walk inside, my heart pounding violently in my chest as I do. I thought yelling at Jodi and getting it off my chest would make me feel better, but it hasn’t. If anything, I just feel worse. That look on her face will stick with me forever, making me hate myself for the rest of my damn life.
I return to the table to see Millie and Josh laughing in their own little bubble, barely noticing the rest of the world swimming around them. I could almost think them a couple if it weren’t for their respective partners.
“Urgh.” I slump into my seat and shake my head angrily. “Fucking hell.”
“Where have you been? You were gone ages.”
“I went looking for Jodi, actually, because she was acting really weird before she ran off.”
I spot what I think is a glimmer of guilt crossing
Millie’s face. “Where is she now?”
“She’s gone. I sent her away. I don’t ever want to see her face again.”
“Why? Why the hell would you do something like that?”
Millie bangs her hands on the table and glares down at me, the guilt long gone. Now she’s looking at me as if I’m the worst thing in the world, as if I’m the one to fucking blame. The anger bubbles in my stomach. I have to keep my breathing steady so it doesn’t boil over and make me do something stupid.
“Because I followed her outside to see her kissing some other guy.”
“Kissing?” Now Millie looks stunned as she staggers back. Well, good. It’s better for her to see that I’m not the bad one here. “Are you sure? She was kissing someone else?”
“Yes. I saw her. Making out with some other guy out there.”
“But you’re with her—”
“Not anymore. I’m not with anyone. No chance in hell that I’ll be getting with anyone else again.”
“What do you mean? What the hell have you done, Brock?”
“What have I done? She’s the one who ruined what we have. Do you not understand that?”
“Is she out there alone? How can you just leave her like that? You’re an asshole!”
Millie gives me one last look before she storms out of the casino with her hair flickering over her shoulder. I sneer as she runs, glad to see her go. She can go and comfort her friend while she gets over losing me.
“Don’t.” I shake my head at Josh. “Don’t say ‘I told you so.’”
“I wasn’t going to.” He holds his hands up in a defeated gesture. “I don’t think I need to say anything to you.”
“No.” I take a giant swig of my drink, trying to wash down the bitterness with the sharp sting of booze. “I don’t need you to say a single damn thing. I should have listened to you. You were right.”
He doesn’t say anything. Instead, he indicates for the waitress to come over with some more drinks. He’s right. This is what we need to do. If I get so drunk I can barely see, then I won’t think about her anymore. I need to finally purge myself of this addiction, to get rid of her forever. I’m done. Even if that makes me an asshole.
14
Jodi
I lift my sticky face off the couch, blinking desperately into the bright light of morning. My sleeping pattern has gone to shit recently. I don’t ever know what time of day it is, but since I have nowhere to be, it hardly matters.