“But you’re hurting me! I can’t help it. Just let me go, and we can talk.”
“Stop thrashing about. If you didn’t keep fighting me, it would be a whole lot easier . . .. What the—?”
My eyes snap open, and I see the same thing that Lucas does. A shadow flitting past us. Hope blooms in my chest. If someone has seen us, then they’ll get the cops. I’ll be saved. It’s obvious that I don’t want to be here, so there isn’t anything to worry about. The tight knot in my lungs loosens a little bit.
“Did someone follow you out here?” he demands loudly. “Are you fucking with me, Jodi?”
“No.” I rub my now free wrists. “No one followed me. Maybe it’s one of your guys.”
He rakes his fingers through his sweat-sodden hair and glares at me. “Don’t be naïve. I don’t have any guys. I just said that to fuck with you. But you had someone follow me. You’re one fucked-up piece of shit.”
I bolt to make a run for it, but Lucas is too quick for me. He grabs me hard, wrapping his arms around my waist, and I feel something hard pressing into my side, stinging against my hot, flushed skin.
“Don’t fuck with me, Jodi. I mean it. I will absolutely finish you off. You feel that there? That’s a knife, and I swear to God I will pierce your skin if you do anything stupid. I’m not afraid to kill you.”
I can feel it through the venom in his voice. He does want me dead. He’s going to kill me if I don’t think fast. I could promise to be with him, I suppose, give him everything that he wants, promise to be the partner he needs, but I think if I do that, he won’t ever let me go. He might not have guys, but he probably has a van waiting to bundle me into the back. I can’t risk that. No matter what happens, I can’t risk that.
Sirens burst through the air, shrieking shrilly and desperately. I want to weep with relief because I’m sure they’re for me. Lucas seems to have that feeling, too, because he drops away from me, his hands raised high above his head in a surrendering gesture. His eyes dart everywhere. He’s searching for the same people I am, and then he’s gone. His hard footsteps against the concrete grow quieter with every step, filling me with relief as they do.
I tumble to the ground in a heap, too drained to even cry, just breathing through the pain.
I’m alive, I remind myself. I’m alive . . . That’s the one thing I need to take from this.
I’m still here.
13
Brock
He’s kissing her. They’re actually kissing. His lips are on hers. They’re together . . . just like I thought.
I watch the scene unravel in front of me, my fists squeezing by my side in anger. There are shadows in the way, so I can’t see the graphic detail as it unfolds, thank goodness, but I can see enough. This is what I came out here to find, and this is what I’ve found. It’s a fucking bittersweet victory which tears me up inside.
I storm away, not taking any care to disguise myself anymore. I want Jodi to know that I’ve seen. Let her know I’m aware of her affai
r, that I’m done with her now. Fucking bitch, how dare she treat me like that.
I don’t go inside, I’m not in the right frame of mind to face anyone right now. Whether it be Josh and Millie, the woman who more than likely knows all about this, or the customers in the casino. I don’t want any human interaction. Not until I’ve calmed down at least eighty percent. Right now, I could smash the whole place apart.
“Why the fuck would she do that to me?” I pace up and down outside the front door, talking to myself like a crazy person. “Why would she treat me like that when I’ve been nothing but amazing to her?”
I think of the time I took her to meet my mom, all the times I’ve gushed over how wonderful she is, the moment I told her I was in love with her . . . It was all for nothing. She didn’t care.
I press my palms into my eyes to block the world out for just a moment, and as I do, all I can think about are all the looks she gave me, the sincerity in every gaze. Was that all a lie? Even now, with this new knowledge I have, it doesn’t feel like it. I’m smarter than that. I should be able to see through it. She really did seem to love me right back, but I must have been mistaken, because here we are. She’s kissing another guy in an alleyway, and I’m standing here feeling like the biggest idiot in the world, lost and alone . . . yet again.
This is like fucking Jane all over again. The moment I walked in on her fucking a guy in our bed, the marital bed we shared together for years. My heart swelled then shattered into a million pieces before she even noticed I was in the room. I fell apart. I was absolutely destroyed from the inside out, and she just continued to bounce up and down on his cock as if she was having the time of her life with his body.
What was it about him? What made him better than me? Why wasn’t I enough?
And now I’m back there again, in exactly the same place. Lost and alone, wondering why I’m not the one. I seem to be okay for a cheap fuck here and there but never enough for the real deal.
“Oh, my God, Brock.” Jodi’s syrupy sweet voice breaks through, bringing rage back to the forefront. “You’re here. I thought . . . I didn’t think . . .” She throws her arms around me, the unexpected sensation of her knocking all the words right out of me. “I didn’t think I would . . . I would . . .” she sobs, so I can’t fully understand her.
“Jodi.” I force myself to keep my tone cold, separating me from her. “I saw you with him. I know what was going on. That’s why you’re always glued to your phone, because of him. Lucas.”
She nods against me, not even bothering to deny it which only rubs salt in the wound. “Yes, yes, it is.”
I push back away from her, the last glimmer of hope sliding away completely. She repulses me now, and the idea of her touching me makes my skin crawl. She’s a slug, a rat, a slimeball. The worst of the worst.