She slides down to her knees, keeping her eyes on mine as she does. Then she slides me between her lips, and she licks and flicks her tongue all over me, sending me to heaven. I’m sure at one point I hear someone knocking at the door, but I can’t stop this now to see who it is. Jodi completely owns me.
It isn’t long before I explode like a volcano, the lava flowing from me, past those gorgeous plump red lips, and into her mouth. She pulls back and gulps loudly, wiping the stray whiteness from her lips. She’s like a fucking porn show just for me, and I get to keep her. I work with her, I can spend as much time as I like with her out of work . . . she’s mine.
“I love you.” The words burst out as I zip myself away. I wasn’t expecting to say it so quickly, but she’s pushed any logic out of my mind. “Sorry, I just . . .” I giggle loudly. “I don’t know where that came from.”
She pulls me close to her and presses her lips to mine. “You know what? I love you too.”
“You do?” I can’t stop the giant smile from spreading across my face. “Really?”
“I do. I’ve loved you for a while now. I just didn’t want to say it aloud.”
“Why not?” I run a finger down her cheek. “Were you afraid of losing me?”
“Yeah, I think so. I didn’t want to move too quickly. I have a habit of picking the wrong men.”
“You do?” My heart pounds quickly. This is the one thing we still need to get through. Her past. We still haven’t broken down that wall. I’m waiting as patiently as I can manage.
“Yeah, I told you, didn’t I? About the reason I had to come here from New York.”
“Some trouble with a guy you used to work with? Is that right?”
I hold a breath, hoping that I haven’t asked a question too many. I don’t want to push her away from me again.
“Um, yeah. He was a guy I used to work with in the stock exchange. He was a nice guy, sweet, good-looking . . . I didn’t think I had any reason to say no when he asked me out on a date. I thought it would be fine.”
I freeze. I don’t move a muscle, scared of pushing her away like she’s a deer or something.
“It was . . . at first. It was okay. The date wasn’t too bad, but I had a bad feeling. I could tell right away when we were alone that there wasn’t a spark, and he gave me a bit of a weird gut feeling. So the date ended, and I just didn’t say too much about it. I guess I kinda hoped that he’d feel the same way, and it would just die.”
She pauses for a beat too long, her face paling. I reach out to rub her arm, hopefully comforting her.
“It’s okay. You don’t have to tell me everything now if you don’t want to. Don’t upset yourself. I just want you to tell me when you’re ready. It’s fine, Jodi.”
“No, it’s okay.” Her breaths are sharp. It’s almost as if she’s only breathing in. “I want to. You’ve shared so much with me, and I know I need to tell you.” She gives me a sweet look, but I can see the terror behind her gaze. I’ve inadvertently taken her back to a clearly horrible time. “Especially if you love me.”
I kiss the tip of her nose, my love shining through. “I do love you. So, so much.”
“Well, things got quite strained afterward. He wanted to be with me, and he couldn’t seem to take no for an answer. I . . . I thought I could handle it at first.I assumed it would be okay, but it wasn’t. It got to the point where everyone started to notice, and it affected my work. We became the subject of office gossip, which made it harder. With the constan
t scrutiny, I could hardly stand it. It seemed to fuel him and make him worse . . .”
“Wow, that must have been really hard for you. I can’t even imagine . . .”
“Yeah, it was. To be honest, I lost all control of the situation.” She breathes deep, almost like she’s having a panic attack. I want to grab hold of her, to make it alright again. “I didn’t know what to do . . .”
Knock, knock.
“Fucking hell.” I can’t stop the expletives from flying out of my mouth. There’s definitely someone at the door this time, and we can’t ignore it. Can’t the person tell that I’m finally getting somewhere with her?
“I’ll get it.” Jodi takes a shaky step toward the door. “Oh, Shelley, is everything okay?”
I don’t hear Shelley’s end of the conversation, but Jodi soon turns to me and indicates that she needs to leave, shattering the magic of the moment completely. It took us so long to get to that point, and I don’t know if we’ll ever get there again. Frustration builds and builds as the jigsaw pieces scatter to the ground all over again.
Ring, ring . . . Ring, ring . . . Ring, ring . . .
“Who the hell is that?” It isn’t my cell phone, so it has to be Jodi’s. I find it on her desk and grab it just to silence it. The name on the screen makes my heart stop dead in my chest. “Lucas? Is that him?”
I almost pick up to tell him to get lost and to never bother her again, but something stops me. Jodi has only let me see a peep of her life, and it isn’t really right of me to interfere. It’s with a shaky hand and a heavy heart that I put the phone back on her desk and listen to it ring out. It’s been one hell of a roller coaster ride this morning.