Hayley: I neer loved u. never.
Hayley: I am so sad. I have nothi and you got it all. I don’t undersnd wht I did wrong cus I wnted everything, I lke you and u just fuk off wiv everyon else.
Hayley: The world is better off if I nt here.
I guess Hayley was drunk last night. I can tell by the melancholy that she descended through the evening. I know something must be going on in her life, she never usually gets in touch this much, it’s been getting more and more with every day, and I’m sure she’s in a financial bind, but I’m never going to help her. She left us.
“Something happening, Noah?” Mom asks me curiously. “You’re staring at your phone a lot.”
“Hmm, no.” I shove my phone away. “Nothing going on.”
She will lose her mind and I’ve put her through enough with this mess with Hayley.
“So, it isn’t your new dating buddy then?”
“No, Mom.” I sigh, needing to shut this down now. “That’s over, Mom. It’s done.”
“Oh no.” She looks at me, stunned. “How come? I thought you were in a good place?”
“It went well for a while, but it was only ever going to be short term.”
“Why? What happened?”
“I don’t really want to talk about it, Mom. I just want to forget about it.”
“I just haven’t seen you care as much before, that’s all. I haven’t seen you so involved with someone and I don’t understand why it’s ended. It seems a shame for you to lose her now. I haven’t even met her.”
“It was just a fling. Not serious enough to meet the family.”
But there’s a tug in my heart as I say that and I’m sure Mom can see it. She furrows her eyebrows together and looks at me like she can tell that I’m lying. I have to avert my gaze so I don’t accidently spill anything.
“Look, Mom, it’s over now. There’s nothing more to talk about.”
“Please, Noah. Don’t keep shutting me out.”
“I’m not, I just don’t want to talk about it.”
“You never want to talk about your feelings.”
“I know. And that hasn’t changed now.”
She sighs and shakes her head, clearly disappointed by me but I’m not going to change my mind. Mia wasn’t in my life for long enough for me to feel like this, I need to just shut it down.
“If you don’t talk about it I can’t help you.”
“I don’t need you to help me. I’m a grown ass man who can take care of myself.”
“Hmm, sure. You’re doing a really good job of that.”
“Thanks a lot, Mom. I don’t think I’m
doing terribly.”
Yes, I can feel myself about to take my anger out on the wrong person, but that doesn’t stop me. It’s all pent up, it needs somewhere to go and the person that I’m really annoyed at is myself.
“Noah, I just want to help you. I want you to be happy.”
“Then keep out of it,” I explode. “I don’t need any advice or help. I’m fine. After what happened with Hayley…” I try to ignore the snort of derision that comes out of her mouth. “I just want to date and have fun. I don’t want anyone to come in and actually be a part of my life.”