Noah: Hard pass.
Hayley: Noah, I need it. Please, help me out. I thought you cared about me? You married me for a reason, don’t forget that. You can’t pretend that you’ve never cared about me now.
Hayley: Noah, is this a joke? Why are you ignoring me now?
Hayley: This is a fucking joke.
Hayley: Fuck you, Noah. You never gave a shit about me.
How did I fall in love with that woman? How did I marry her? Honestly, it boggles me now. To keep reminding myself that not all my choices are amazing ones, I’ve kept everything. The wedding photos, the move letters from the early days, the gifts we got each other when we were young and naïve… I guess that’s the stuff I’ll show Alex when he’s older, but I also have the bad things. The screenshots of all the messages she sent other guys, the pathetic note she left me when she ran off with another rich guy, all the times she’s tried to get money from me.
Those memories are just for me, for when I need to reminder.
I sigh loudly and look at the picture Alex has drawn again. There’s a big gap where his mother should be, where she’d never be again. I wouldn’t ever let her back into her son’s life because she’s done nothing to prove herself worthy. I won’t have her being the sort of person who darts in and out of his life. He deserves so much better than her. We both do.
There hasn’t been anyone after Hayley. Not someone serious anyway. I’ve had flings, but she’s really put me off the whole romance thing. It would have to be someone utterly amazing to turn my head for long enough.
“Here, Daddy, what do you think?”
“Oh, wow, you look amazing, kid.”
“Where is your uniform?”
I laugh loudly. “You mean my gym kit?”
“Well, you are going to work.”
“That’s true, I am. I’m just going to get it on now. Why don’t you see if there are any cartoons on TV?”
He bounces
off my lap and races into the other room, a giant smile on his face as he goes. I smile to myself, but it’s a sad smile. All these thoughts of Hayley haven’t left me in the best mood.
Knock, knock.
Ah, that must be Jenny, and time for me to really get sorted. I push myself up into a standing position and head towards the stairs. “Come in, Jenny, Alex is waiting for you.”
I hear my favorite nanny sliding in through the front door, before a low hum of talking fills the living room. Jenny is amazing. After things imploded with Hayley, I needed help with child care. I can’t be a full time parent and run my gym to the successful level I have been at the same time. It just wouldn’t work. I had a few nannies looking after Alex, but none of them felt right until her. She just has this awesome way with my son which leaves us both happy. Even with Alex now in school, I keep her around for weekends, after school, and holidays like now. He has a fair few weeks off for the summer during which time they’ll have great fun.
It’s good for him to have a positive female role in his life.
Ring, ring… ring, ring…
The early hour if the cell rings gives a stress in my chest. This is the sort of time Hayley likes to get in touch, reminding me how well she knows my schedule, but thankfully it isn’t.
“Hi, Mom, how’s it going?”
“Hello, Noah. Sorry, I know it’s early. I’m just checking you and that gorgeous grandson of mine are still coming to dinner this weekend? I’ve been looking forward to it all week.”
“Yes, of course we are. You know we wouldn’t miss it for the world.”
“Good, good. Because it’s been a long time.”
“I know, I’m sorry about that. I’ve just been so busy.”
“Any communication from that woman?”
That woman… the only way Mom speaks about Hayley now. She never liked her, she tried to warn me, but I wouldn’t listen until it was too late, which she likes to remind me all the time.