“Okay!” I called back. “Thanks! I’ll be out in a minute!”
Closing my eyes, I took a deep breath and forced myself to sit up. My head was still spinning and goose bumps broke out over my body as I wrapped my arms around myself and hugged tightly.
Alex had told me he’d wanted to sleep with me.
But why?
Why would he want someone like me? Heck, why would he actually want me? Did he have a secret fat girl fetish? Was it some kind of elaborate stunt, like a joke?
Or did he just get off on seeing me squirm?
I didn’t understand any of it. The whole time I’d known Alex – practically half my life – he’d always had gorgeous girls hanging off at least one of his arms. They weren’t even normally beautiful girls – they were like supermodels. I remember there was one time where I could’ve sworn that he was walking around with pre-meltdown Britney Spears hanging off of his arm.
“Molly, it’s real
ly okay!” Rebecca yelled loudly. “You can come out, I swear, it’s fine!”
“Just give me a minute!” I yelled back. “I’m doing something in here!”
Suddenly, for what felt like the first time in my life, I was annoyed with my best friend. As soon as I realized it, the guilt hit me like a ton of bricks.
It’s not her fault – she has no idea how you feel about Alex, I thought to myself as I rolled my legs off my bed and climbed shakily to my feet. And if she did…god, I can’t even begin to imagine how angry she’d be!
Swallowing nervously, I walked over to my mirror, expecting to see a completely different Molly. I felt like a completely different girl – a sensual girl, a sexy girl that men want to grab and squeeze and kiss and fuck.
But I looked exactly the same. My drab brown hair fell to my back in loose ringlets, and my pudgy face looked even chubbier since I was so pale.
I really should try to lose some weight, or get a tan or something, I thought as I cocked my head to the side and scrutinized myself. If Alex is going to pursue me, won’t he want me to look better?
Then a strange thought came into my head. What if he didn’t want me to lose weight, or anything like that? What if he just liked me because of…well, me?
I shook my head. No – there was no way that was true. Alex wasn’t that kind of guy. In all the years I’d known him, I’d never seen him with a girl bigger than a size two.
So, what was it, then?
I could practically feel Rebecca’s irritation streaming in from the kitchen, so reluctantly I walked out into the hall.
“Hey,” I said.
Rebecca narrowed her eyes. “What was all that about?”
I shrugged. “Sorry,” I said. “I didn’t mean to bother you. I guess I’m just not feeling very well.”
Rebecca nodded heartily. “Yeah, tell me about it,” she said. “When my brother showed up, I thought I was going to be sick! And did you see his weird best friend, Rob?”
“No,” I said, shaking my head. “I didn’t come out of my room, remember?”
“Oh, yeah.” Rebecca sat down and frowned. “Hey, I was thinking – we should go out somewhere. Dress up a little, maybe just have a couple of drinks.”
I laughed. “Are you trying to set me up with someone?”
“No,” Rebecca said. She shook her head. “I just thought it might be fun. We never go out, Molly.”
“There’s a reason for that,” I said. “I hate bars – they’re full of loud, obnoxious guys cheering on some stupid sports team that they care about because they’re dumb savages.”
Rebecca laughed. “What if we find someplace quiet? Like, a wine bar? Wouldn’t that be fun?”
I rolled my eyes. “Yeah, because pretentious hipsters with berets and glasses of fifteen-dollar house wine are totally our thing.”