After that, Mom offers to take Lexi out for a cup of tea alone, the thing I thought that she would dread, but much to my surprise, Lexi agrees happily. I can already see that this is going to be an everlasting bond, which I hope will help to bring my father around a bit more too. If Mom loves Lexi, then he will have to change his mind. This could be a family to Lexi. The family that has been taken away from her far too soon. Of course, we will never be able to replace what she’s lost, but we can help her with the future.
“Right, well while you guys do that, I have some errands that I need to run as well.”
“Do you need any help?” Lexi offers, but I shake my head. “Okay, well I will see you after then.”
I smile at her, knowing that the next time we see one another, everything will be different.
I find Lexi and Mom still in the same café I left them in a few hours before, talking away like old friends. Because this sight is so wonderful to me, I stand and watch for a few minutes. I haven’t ever introduced my parents to anyone before, because no one has been in my life for long enough, so this is a big moment for me… and thankfully, it’s turning out well. They are really enjoying one another.
But then it’s time to go inside, to show them both what I have had done. I’m excited for that, I did this for a great reason, and I can’t wait to see how everyone reacts to this.
“Hey.” Lexi’s face lights up as she sees me. “Isaac, you’re here. Did you get everything done?”
“I only had one thing to do,” I admit. “Do you want to see?”
“See?” she asks me curiously. “What do you mean?”
I lift up my shirt to show her the wrapped part of my skin. My skin which used to be pure and untouched but is now inked. For her, for Jane, and for our baby too. It hurts right now, and it looks a little red, but as I’ve seen from Jane’s gorgeous body, it all calms down eventually and it looks great.
“What have you done?” Lexi rises to her feet and touches the area softly. “You got a tattoo?”
Her eyes meet mine and the intense love flows between us. Lexi understands how important this is, and what it means. It’s my commitment to her forever more. Of course, we’re having a child which bonds us forever, but this is something else, another type of commitment. Another way to show her that I love her so damn much.
“I got your name and Jane’s over my heart, because that’s where you’ll always be.”
Lexi crumbles in to tears and hugs me. “That means you’re stuck with me now. You do know that, don’t you? A tattoo is really painful to get rid of, so this is permanent.”
I let out a little laugh and nod, that is something I’m acutely aware of but that’s exactly what I want. To be with Lexi forever. Where else in the world would I want to be other than here?
“That’s right where I want to be. Don’t you worry about that.”
I see the ultrasound picture in Mom’s hand, and I grin. Our baby is the future, and this is the symbol of that. The tattoo which will always be about Lexi and everything that we’ve been through. It will also remind me that we can survive anything and all we need to do is keep going.
Mom hugs us both too, and it really feels amazing. My family is growing and better every single day. I must be the luckiest man alive.
Chapter Thirty-Nine
Lexi
I hang the photo of me and Jane, the one that used to be in my apartment, on the walls of my new home. Yes, that’s right, I’ve finally done it. I’ve moved in with Isaac. He’s wanted it for such a long time, but it’s only now as our baby is about to come, that I feel ready to do so. I’ll admit, the amazing nursery that he created for me helped. It’s all pink and gorgeous, Jane is going to absolutely love it. When she’s here.
I rub my belly. “Not long now,” I comment quietly. “My due date is this weekend, Jane.”
God, I can’t wait to meet her. I feel such an intense bond with my baby, and I can’t wait until she’s born so I can shower her in love. Plus, pregnancy isn’t the easiest. I’m massive now, and a little uncomfortable. I have been for the past few weeks. I’m looking forward to being back to normal.
“What do you think, Jane?” I ask the picture hanging on the wall. “You like it?”
I alternate between speaking to my baby Jane and my sister Jane, because they are both equally important to me. I still find it hard without her here, but it’s helpful to keep her memory alive. Having all of these pictures around is great, as is Isaac’s tattoo. I intend to get a matching one as soon as my baby is born. I might get it at the end of my snake because that tattoo is just so important to us. It started it all.
“I’m doing okay today, Jane, I still miss you like crazy though… oh…”
There’s a little twinge in my stomach that makes me hunch forward as much as I can and hold where it hurts. This has been happening a bit recently, it’s been sore, but I suppose that will only get worse. Over time, the agony will only get more intense, I don’t even want to think how much it will hurt during childbirth. I have done all of the classes, but I don’t think anything will be able to prepare me for when it really happens.
Still, any pain is worth it, to have my baby in my arms… I’m sure.
“Oh, don’t worry about that,” I reassure myself. “There are still a few more days left. It isn’t something that needs to be worried about right now. Just carry on doing whatever you need to do.”
I don’t really have a lot to be honest. In between setting up his new business, he’s been keeping control of everything here, making sure that I don’t have much to do but relax. He’s so sweet, I absolutely adore him. I honestly don’t know where I would be without him in my life now and I hope I never have to find out.