“I’m falling for her too.” It feels so freeing to say those words aloud. It may not be the right person to say it to, I probably should have said those things to Lexi first, but Jane needs to hear this. “I adore her.”
“I can see it.” She smiles. “I can see how much you care about her and that makes me very happy. All I want is for Lexi to be happy, and since I don’t know what’s going on with me, I don’t know if I will be able to be around forever and it’s good to know that there is someone there for her.”
“I want to be there for her… if she will let me.”
“Yeah, I know what she’s like. I know that she can be very stubborn… we’re both like that. But what I really wanted, was for Lexi to get a proper life for herself and if she would have been doing that while still coming here, I would never have stopped her from seeing me. But now if she is she’s just sitting at home, worrying about me, then I fucked up, bad.”
“I’m sure she will forgive you. Lexi is bound to understand.”
“Will you go and see her?” Jane asks me. “If I give you her address, will you go to her place and check on her? And while you’re there, please let her know that I’m sorry and I really want to see her.”
“Of course I will.” This is ideal, it gives me the perfect excuse to see Lexi. “Anything you need.”
Jane reaches across and grabs some paper and writes down Lexi’s address for me. As she hands it to me, she smiles. “You seem like a really good guy. I’m glad that Lexi has you. Just promise you’ll take care of her.”
A thick ball of emotion lodges in my throat. I don’t know what’s happening with Jane, how this treatment is working out for her, but those words feel heavy and absolutely loaded with meaning.
“I will, I promise that I will take good care of her. I… I love her.”
“That makes me so happy. Thank you, Isaac.”
“You’re welcome, Jane. And it was lovely to meet you.”
“You too, I hope I get to see you again soon. Maybe with Lexi next time.”
“I would love that.”
Emotion floods me as I head out of the hospital. Jane is a wonderful person and she doesn’t deserve anything that’s happening to her. I can see now why this is crushing Lexi as much as it is. I have always wanted to do anything for my girl, and now I know better.
Now, I’m going to be exactly what she needs me to damn well be.
Sadness and guilt weighs heavily down on me as I drive, everything swirls painfully through my system. There is so much heartache in the world. It makes me want my business even more, because it might not be big, but I can still help. If only it was more of a profit maker and I could get my father on board. But he won’t want anything charity related, so this one is all on me. Then again, perhaps that will make it even better.
My thoughts dart all over the place as I speed along the roads, I can’t focus on anything. I’m raw and exposed, a bit of a mess and seeing Lexi is just going to make that worse. I would be scared if she isn’t at her home. But, I know how dedicated she is to her sister and she will just be waiting for the news that Jane wants her to go back to the hospital. I’m glad I can take that information with me. I hope the famous stubbornness doesn’t get in the way and prevent Lexi from going, because those sisters need to reconnect more than anyone in the world. More than ever while Jane is in the hospital. It’s necessary.
“This is going to be good,” I tell myself quietly. “This is the start of the next chapter for us.”
It’ll be slow, it isn’t going to be a whirlwind thing, but I don’t mind that. I’m willing to go at whatever pace Lexi needs because like I said to her sister, I really love her. I never thought that I would be in love, but here I am… fully in. It might even be time to tell that to her. To say those three words aloud.
“I love you,” I practice saying them and it feels really good. “I love you, Lexi. I fucking love you.”
I grin, thinking about what her face is going to be when I say those words. I seriously hope that she’s excited. I hope she says them back to me as well. It’ll be okay if she doesn’t, but I would love it.
Chapter Twenty-Seven
Lexi
I pace up and down my apartment, checking my email for like the hundredth time to see if I have had any replies to the jobs that I have applied for, but still there’s nothing. I clearly haven’t been fired by Isaac yet, as promised the money is still coming into my account, keeping me afloat and assisting me in paying for Jane’s continued treatment, but I can’t keep that up forever. It isn’t fair. That’s why I need to get another j
ob.
“No one even knows that I’m pregnant!” I yell out in frustration. “Why don’t they want me?”
I throw my phone on to the couch and let out a scream of frustration. I have already done a day outside, strolling the fucking streets and handing out my resume to almost every place that’s hiring. I don’t know if I have the strength to do it again. I just want someone to give me a chance. Anyone. Any job will do. I don’t even care if the pay is shit, I just can’t be sitting idle and doing nothing. I have so much weighing down on me right now, its killing me.
If only I could see Jane. None of this would be quite so intense, if I could just get a chance to see her. The odd message now and again isn’t sustaining me. The fact that she doesn’t even want to know my news is too much.
How can she not want to know? Jane is a massive gossip. She loves this sort of thing. She must be curious. If she had said that to me, then I would be losing my mind over it. I’d need to know right away.