Abby gave me a considering look, but she still looked somehow detached from all of this, like she didn’t really care at all. She gave me a nod at last. “Yeah, I’ll be there,” she said. “I guess we need to talk, though. About how we’re going to handle all of this.”
“I’m sorry,” I blurted in response. “I’m sorry for how I acted. I didn’t mean to push you away, and I definitely didn’t mean to hurt your feelings. I know you did the best that you could as interim CEO, and actually you did an amazing job. In spite of the fact that you’ve only been with the company for a short time, and in spite of the fact that I gave you barely any time to consider it and barely any time to prepare for it. I’m so proud of what you accomplished, I can’t even tell you. And I didn’t tell you that before. And I’m sorry.”
The words all sounded so lame as they spilled from my mouth, but was it just my imagination or was Abby warming up to my being there? Her expression was no longer quite as frosty, and she was clearly paying attention to every word I said, rather than glancing back over her shoulder toward the kitchen like she had been doing. It no longer looked quite so much like she wanted to bolt.
“I was overwhelmed,” I continued. “And that’s absolutely no excuse for my inability to control my emotions. I do know that I never should have yelled at you like that or said any of the things I did. Like I told you, I probably would have done exactly the same thing if our positions had been reversed. If I had been the one dealing with Duncan.” I shook my head. “I never should have yelled at you,” I repeated, feeling even more ridiculous as I repeated myself.
Abby frowned at me, but finally she nodded. “It’s all right,” she said slowly.
I shook my head again, though. “No, it isn’t,” I told her. “It’s not all right at all.”
Abby stared at me for a moment and then let out a short, bitter laugh. “Daniel, I wanted to have this conversation. I wanted to hear your side of the story. But let’s be realistic here. There are a dozen ways I messed up.”
“You told me that you didn’t want to be in the public eye, and I put you there front and center,” I interrupted, ticking off my own mistakes on my fingertips. “Hell, I got served for assault charges in the first place. And I gave you no warning on taking over for me. And I left you a fucking mountain of paperwork in the office as if that would help you with anything, rather than just stressing you out. And I—”
Abby held up both hands, her lips twitching with what I was sure was amusement. “All right, all right,” she said. “So we agree that we were both wrong?”
I gave her a serious look. “We agree that no matter what I did wrong, or what you imagine you did wrong, our fight the other day was wrong,” I corrected. “Because forgetting about all the rest of it, and even factoring in all the stress I was under? That was no way to talk to the woman that I love.”
The words were out of me before I could even think about them, but I knew they were right just then. I loved Abby. Maybe she hadn’t worked for me so long, and maybe there was still a lot we needed to get through. But at the end of the day, I loved her, and that right there was the reason that losing her, in my personal life as well as around the office, worried me.
At the end of the day, I loved her. And that was all there was to it.
“You love me?” Abby asked in surprise. Then, her face fell a little. “You mean, as your advisor.” Her words were flat and disheartened.
I frowned, my arms itching to reach for her, to pull her towards me, to use physical touch to ease all her worries. But I didn’t want to overstep. Not until I fully understood what she was feeling. So instead, I shook my head. “No,” I told her. “Not just as my advisor. Abby, I love you. And I’m sorry that I’ve done a piss-poor job of showing you how amazing I really think you are, but I am hoping you give me one more chance. Even though I know that by all rights, I don’t deserve it.”
Chapter 16
Abby
I STARED AT DANIEL, wondering just what to say in response to that declaration of love. Of course, it didn’t solve everything. I wasn’t the kind of woman who believed that just because a man told me he loved me, suddenly everything was going to be all roses and chocolate kisses. Love didn’t solve things at work, or the media, or the anger issues. Love didn’t make up for all the ways I had messed up as well.
But then again, I had never even expected Daniel to just show up like this. His phone calls, sure—after the way he had been calling me, I had expected there would still be some kind of conversation. Maybe over the phone, or maybe at work tomorrow. But to just show up at Matt’s house in the middle of dinner? That was...different. And there was something about it that made me feel somehow both worse and better.
He cared enough to be there. Like he thought all of this was his fault. I was glad that he could admit his actions weren’t entirely correct. It also made me feel worse for not answering any of his calls.
But he didn’t seem like he was here just to hash out the blame over all of that. No, it seemed like he was here because he really wanted to fix things between the two of us. I didn’t know just what to say in response to that.
Finally, I sighed and looked away from his earnest face. “I’ll see you tomorrow morning,” I promised him. Because it had never really been a question of whether or not I was continuing to work for him. I liked the job, and even though I knew I had messed things up in my time as a CEO, I felt sure that I could recover when I went back to being just his advisor again.
At least, if everyone around the office was as forgiving as Daniel was. And if he and I didn’t show up to work together the following morning, putting the exclamation point on whatever stories the media had spent the weekend coming up with, thanks to whatever dirt Duncan had uncovered.
Was there any dirt there? I hated that I still had to think about that.
“Is this a routine for you?” I suddenly blurted out.
Daniel looked confused for a second. “Showing up to...” Then he trailed off, comprehension dawning. “Sleeping with people around the office,” he said flatly.
“I hate that I have to ask,” I hurried to say. “And I don’t feel like I really need to ask. First of all, it’s not really any of my business who you’ve slept with before. And second of all, I don’t really believe that you have, despite everything I’ve ever heard about you, and despite all the unwarranted advice that everyone has tried to give me about this whole thing.” I was gesturing awkwardly between the two of us, I realized.
I took a deep breath, bringing my hands back down to my sides. “It’s just that I don’t know what to expect from you or the media. Or from Duncan now, for that matter. And that’s terrifying, honestly. Because I want to believe that you’re the guy I know you are, the guy I’ve seen ever since I started working for McGregor Enterprises. But I also don’t want to look like an idiot defending you if it turns out you’re not the man I thought you were.”
Daniel gave me half a smile. “I’m not even s
ure I know what you’re saying anymore,” he joked.
“I’m trying to say that I love you as well, you idiot,” I said matter-of-factly. “So you’d better tell me now if there’s any reason why I shouldn’t.”